In an attempt to broaden my horizons, I bought a high brow publication this morning which I used to read regularly back in the day. Among the articles within its enlightening pages, which for decades quenched my thirst for knowledge and self growth, I was curious to read the following:-

“Some free radicals arise normally during metabolism. Sometimes the body’s immune system cells purposefully create them to neutralize viruses and bacteria. However, environmental factors such as pollution, radiation, cigarette smoke and herbicides can also spawn free radicals.”

I’m sure some will find that useful information but it has to be said that the Viz comic isn’t as entertaining as I remember it!

Seriously though, this morning I have been trying to improve my science knowledge online, as chemistry and physics were probably my weakest subjects at school.

It seems my brain was, and still is, unable to absorb knowledge pertaining to the details/functions of anything that ends in ‘ons’! ….. Well, apart from klingons! …… Oh and ex-game show host Nicholas Parsons!

As it is when I leave the freezer door open, electrons, neutrons, protons and morons just leave me cold.

According to my dad, the entertainer Bernie Clifton was an excellent scientist. I appreciate his input but I’m not, so that snippet of knowledge serves no real benefit for me as I write this!

Bernie Clifton – Apparently he knows lots about science!

At senior school it was drummed into us that being proficient at science would end up opening doors career wise. However, I didn’t want to be a Hotel Doorman so I foolishly didn’t pay much attention in chemistry, biology and physics classes.

Like most pubescent kids, I did pay some attention during the human reproduction biology lesson. It held a prurient fascination for all the young teen boys. We hardly understood a word of it, but hearing the word vagina was enough to make it lesson of the week for some!

One of our classmates, the son of a puritanical family, wasn’t allowed to attend those particular lectures as his parents barred him from the lesson. Apparently, they didn’t want him to find out baby’s don’t come from Boots the Chemist!.

His parents were keen that he control his raging hormones, in particular refraining from having intimate relations with girls. In an attempt to put him off the idea of intimacy, they told him he should stay away from female ‘front bottoms’ as they were laden with razor sharp teeth!

It was idiotic home education laden with untruths, such as Jaws music would play pre-intercourse! However it kept him in line, as their eccentric methods were designed to, so they may argue their flawed teaching served its purpose.

It all backfired on them though when he saw ‘lady bits’ for the first time. In the absence of teeth, their son immediately alienated his girlfriend by making comment on the young ladies poor dental hygiene!

Additionally, as a result of their teachings, he had terrible nightmares for weeks after watching the movie Jaws!

Stephen Spielberg in the mouth of Jaws ….. I’m hoping it’s a shark anyway!

Anyway, back to the home education of my own. I started my online science research to fill a knowledge void about free radicals, including the disruption they cause to the human body.

While still not being in possession of a full scientific understanding of them, at least I have a an idea of the havoc they can cause to the body. No wonder they are flipping free! They cause so much trouble I can’t see anyone paying for them!