Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Partly fictional chronicles of whimsy

Tag Archive for ‘parody’

Keeping The Wolf From The Door

Yesterday in a local store, I overheard a glorious misquoting of an adage from a guy ahead of me at the checkout. This memorable incident occurred when he exclaimed to his partner “I’m sweating like a pig with a big mortgage!” During our recent 1-2 month warm spell, the correct version of that idiom (I’m sweating like a pig!) has oft been heard amongst avenues and alleyways frequented by the […]

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A 500 Worder With Cheese

It’s 08:28 am on Thursday 19th July – For the last twenty three minutes I’ve been gawping fecklessly at a blank Word document on my laptop screen. A creatively barren time where the document staring back forlornly, patiently awaiting a light bulb moment from GJ Strachan esq. An epiphany defiling it’s chaste canvas with thought provoking prose, erratic grammar and incorrect use of the word risible. I’d planned to quill […]

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Pointless Football Facts

As football fever grips the largest country in the United Kingdom, we English can’t get enough of player profiles and biographical history of our newly acquired heroes. Conscious of this increase in the public’s fascination with footy, social and conventional media channels have been helpfully filling knowledge voids relating to the England squad members. Examples of which include digging up quotes from old schoolmates of young goalkeeper Jordan Pickford, along […]

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A Mug’s Game?

I’m not a gambling man – A comment I relay not out of self-righteousness, moreover to explain it’s a pastime that doesn’t provide me with the buzz it does many others. This being the case even if my punt bares fruit. With the exception of a few quid bet with course-side bookie at a race meeting, along with a gamble on the annual Grand National, borne more from family tradition […]

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Medium & Rare

Not that I’m complaining, but the UK’s warm spell carries on unabated. This morning, an acquaintance felt the need to inform me that they were sweating like a camel’s backside. As it wasn’t a mind’s picture I wanted, or indeed a simile I’d heard before I didn’t respond to this oratory offering. By the nature of camel’s normal environment, ie in deserts, there’s a possibility the adage may bear some […]

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What Goes On In Film Noir Club….

Via the miracle of social media, yesterday evening I received a ‘Dear Editor…..’ correspondence from a mate purporting to be ‘Disgruntled from Shrewsbury’. During this eloquently worded critique they felt moved to highlight key omissions in yesterday’s narrative England Win, Lake & Calmer. England Win, Lake & Calmer being a whimsical monologue giving a brief insight into our weekend trip to the Lake District along with six other friends. For […]

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England Win, Lake & Calmer

After a hectic few weeks of adventuring by train to gigs, historic cities, international cricket games, and basking in the stunning Lakeland scenery, I’m happy to report I’ve quieter few days ahead. Writing, along with the maintenance of two family gardens thus far being my only scheduled activities for this week. I’m unsure as to why the weekend’s exertions, during a break with mates, in the Lake District have rendered […]

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