Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred
Whimsical observations from deep within an erratic mind
In one of his trademark offbeat observations on the BBC TV gameshow ‘Would I Lie To You?”, likeable funny man Bob Mortimer claimed the distant memories he was about to recount were like “Fingerprints on an abandoned handrail.” This humorous, but idiosyncratic, observation describing how he only had vague memories of the absurd yarn he... Continue Reading →
Today is Groundhog Day. In places like Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, people wait with baited breath, while observing how groundhogs react to today's meteorological conditions, as they emerge from their burrows........ The Pennsylvanians will also wait with baited breath to see if I spell Punxsutawney correctly! Folklore decrees that the following applies when the groundhog first emerges... Continue Reading →
Yesterday evening I attended an Open Mic evening at a chic Harrogate eatery. To clarify, an Open Mic night isn't attending a event to be entertained by a candid fellow called Michael... Unless, of course, the amateur turn is a forthright chap called Michael... In which case, you are attending an Open Mic evening presented... Continue Reading →
Yesterday, while strolling the avenues and alleyways of this fair metropolis. I bumped into an old acquaintance; a keen amateur runner who goes by the nickname Frank Microwave-Oven. My pal’s unlikely pseudonym borne from him receiving static electric shocks when coming into contact with post-race foil blankets.. The covers aimed at keeping athletes warm at... Continue Reading →
Scene – In a supermarket parking lot, a middle-aged man ambles past a trolley shelter towards the stores entrance. The fella distracted by a game he’s playing on his mobile device; a challenge he’s recently become addicted to. Carelessly not looking ahead, he foolishly introduces the jeopardy of being mowed down by a vehicle (or... Continue Reading →
As it's the festive season, I enclose a series of intentionally absurd Christmas quiz questions. These fictional 'True or False' catechisms are written purely for comedic value; consequently, they should not be viewed as factual fare... The 'answers' are shown below in bold:- True or False - Last year my brother asked for Christmas gifts... Continue Reading →
I’ve not written much of late. For no apparent reason my mood has been low; draining any motivation to indulge in literary projects. Perversely, annoyance at myself for being in a low spirits for no reason has sent my mood even lower. It has got so bad, yesterday evening GJ Strachan had a word with... Continue Reading →
A phalanx of baristas and customers seeking a caffeine hit surround me as I commence this missive. A south Leeds retail centre’s café affording me a domain to place my buttocks, rehydrate and stir whatever creative juice pool I can muster. After tweaking my back yesterday afternoon, this journaling accompanied by intermittent lumbar spasms. Stretching... Continue Reading →
Looking down, it felt like this working-class northern lad had arrived. His eyes drawn to a multicoloured hippy picnic blanket in front of him; the rug laden with a wonderful smorgasbord procured from a Fortnum & Mason festival stall. His partner belying her usual similar lack of culture by swooning at the champagne feast. Her... Continue Reading →