Uncle Sam’s 241st Birthday

It’s Independence Day in America. Around the fifty states, there will be patriotic celebrations marking the 241st anniversary of their nation adopting the Declaration of Independence.

A historic day when America became a new entity, detaching itself from the British Empire. Allegedly leading to it’s author Thomas Jefferson posting on Twitter “Good riddance to those Limey’s with their lukewarm tea and fake news…… Incidentally, does anyone know the CNN channel number?!”

Anecdotally, the British government were said to be unmoved by their American cousins decision to flee the nest. By 1776. they’d grown from a mainly well-behaved off-spring, through high maintenance teenage years, eventually developing into a hard to control young adult.

Following numerous cultural arguments at the time, diplomatic relations were fraught between the nations . Food portion consumption, the pronunciation of the word tomato and disagreements about hat fashion, just a few barriers to mutual harmony. The split inevitable after American adoption of the word soccer for the British game of football.

Jefferson’s original source copy of the Declaration of Independence was later amended by politicians Benjamin Franklin and John Adams. Amongst their tweaking of the text was ‘“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; nor his Netflix account; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”…… Actually, coming to think of it, I maybe getting my Declaration of Independence mistaken with the Ten Commandments.

4th July

I’ve never studied American History, in fact until recently I thought the US Constitution was part of the Declaration of Independence, not a separate entity that sets out the framework for the supreme law of the United States of America

My insight into the US Constitution, though, recently increased significantly after binge watching US corporate law drama Suits. This boxset gorging allowed me to pick up enough legal knowledge where I felt comfortable to practise law in the States, despite lacking suitable qualifications…… Well if it’s good enough for Mike Ross, it’s good enough for me!

Today, throughout the world, Americans will be celebrating their nations 241st birthday with parties, BBQ’s, drinking, singing the Star Spangled Banner, posting confrontational tweets, quoting the prose of Poe and asking “Why did Benjamin Franklin decree that we can’t covet our neighbour’s Netflix account?”

I have an acquaintance in Wichita, Kansas, who claims to celebrate American Independence Day on October 3rd every year. His low key commemoration marked with a Cuban cigar, a fine Scottish whisky and a Norman Wisdom movie binge.

The reason he undertakes this eccentric stance is he claims to be a non-conformist who laughs in the face of authority. Last week, while queuing to pay his fine for an overdue library book, this imbecilic maverick thought nothing of vocally pouring scorn on “….the saps who celebrate like sheep on 4th July.”

Before I conclude this blog, I want to make it clear this is a tongue in cheek narrative, and I have no problem with the US people or as a nation. I genuinely wish all Americans a happy Independence Day……. Although, a word to the wise, forthwith make sure you don’t covet your neighbour’s Netflix account.

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