Maximus Gluteus

Yesterday, unbeknown to yours truly, I spent the day wandering about the place with a huge tear in the rear of my shorts. The revelation only becoming apparent when undressing at eventide, when upon removing the aforementioned article I spotted a bloody big hole where once cloth’d lain. Mercifully, the adornment of boxer shorts’d negated…

Silk

Blowing gently in prevailing West Yorkshire zephyrs a single strand of proteinaceous spider silk lays entwined within the pergola beams above my head. It’s gentle movement reflecting a bisque colour drawn from overhead solar rays. As we lay on the cusp of June’s equinox, with sub sequential onset of ever darkening evenings, it warming (both…

Let It Bee

Commencing today’s observations, I’m perched in my garden beneath a resplendent West Yorkshire sun. The romantic within me raising a smile as I draw poetry from my accompanying chromatic flora and fauna landscape. This ocular sonnet, via the conduit between eye and area of the brain which processes pictures, leading me to conclude (despite my…

Literal & Figurative Small Steps

After four days of suffering, discomfort consequential from straining my lateral knee ligament has started abating. Don’t get me wrong, every now and again I’m being blind-sided by sharp joint twinges, leading to a swift unanticipated expulsions of air. However, if required, at least now I can drive again, mercifully affording me greater scope mobility…

Music True or False Round

In lieu of a blog today, I enclose a series of intentionally absurd/fictional ‘True or False inquiries written for a quiz yesterday evening, which ultimately I was unable to deliver after having to abort my participation in the clambake. Disclaimer – Although some are indicated otherwise in bold, none of these idiosyncratic allegations are true…

Give A Little Whistle

Thirty one years ago tomorrow, at just gone 3am, I became a father for the first time when my son Jonathon made a belated appearance at a Bedfordshire hospital. His arrival followed a harrowing seven hours for his mum, and me shouting myself hoarse with frequent cries of “Heave!”….. An unhelpful yell that, in hindsight, probably made it appear there…

Knee Problems

After spending an hour or so this morning ensconced in Pinderfields hospital Accident & Emergency (A&E) department, Wakefield, I’m back home nursing the knee injury sustained yesterday in a freak incident. An ordinarily innocent enough twisting motion while rising from a garden chair the source of GJ Strachan’s prevailing joint agony. Anyhow, the diagnosis is…

I Never Give You My Pillow

During arbitrary surfing of the net, this morning I witnessed an online sale for recovered sofas. GJ Strachan wasn’t intrigued enough to ask what the chaise lounges had recovered from, but was heartened to hear the settee was recuperating well. Clearly, the recovery of which I relay above was of an upholstery nature, not medical;…