Sutton Dressed As Lamb

Despite my team being conspicuous by their absence following Sunday’s abject footballing performance in the London Borough of Sutton, I still made the effort to watch yesterday evenings 5th round FA Cup draw on TV.

Admittedly, I’m not overly sure what my motive was to witness the event, particularly when I had no vested interest in the outcome.

Perhaps I was hoping to be entertained with similar bizarre behaviour displayed during last weeks Scottish FA Cup draw, when an allegedly drunk Rod Stewart was in charge of drawing the home sides.

In an eccentric performance, the singer wore an inane grin on his face throughout, as well as displaying a series of exaggerated arm movements while picking out the numbered balls. The over the top arm movements exhibited by the Celtic fan giving him the look of a power windmill.

I’m sure Rod wasn’t connected to the National Grid but, if he had, the power generated with this bizarre flapping could possibly illuminate the floodlights during the next game at Celtic Park.

Playing devil’s advocate (no, that’s not who the buoys have in the next round), he was probably still a bit giddy after his beloved teams shock 4th round away cup victory over the mighty Albion Rovers.

Seriously though, I know the Scottish FA need a distraction from the fact the men in green and white hoops have already all but won the league. If social media is anything to go by, the allegedly pissed Rod Stewart certainly provided that.

Image result for rod stewart cup draw

Yesterday evening’s English draw was undertaken in a far more undemonstrative fashion by ex-footballers Gareth Southgate and Robbie Savage. If they’d have been inebriated when pulling out the sixteen balls, who knows, perhaps we’d have seen tomfoolery similarly bestowed on viewers of the Caledonian version.

During the English event, non-leaguers Sutton United drew a high profile game after their thoroughly deserved win against Leeds. For their endeavour in putting Gary Monk’s team to the sword, their reward is a home tie against Arsenal in a few weeks. 

I was (mildly) interested to read yesterday that one of the prominent buildings in the town of Sutton is the Thomas Wall Centre, named after its benefactor who was the ice cream tycoon. This 1910 Georgian building has for decades been the venue for adult learning. Not forgetting the home of an eclectic mix of societies over the years, including a temperance society back in the day.

I’m not party to whether this is a another Wall construction that the Mexican’s are refusing to pay for. I do know, though, temperance was the last thing on my mind after Leeds’ defeat to a club 83 places below us in the league pyramid….. Apparently, it may not have been on Rod Stewart’s radar last week either!

Although a tad embarrassed at my team being beaten by a non-league side, I’m fairly philosophical about the whole debacle. They deserved it and good luck to them in the next round.

If truth be told, I was more disappointed with the broadcast of English draw itself. After, Rod’s performance north of Hadrian’s Wall a few days earlier, I’d hoped the Welshman (Savage) and Englishman (Southgate) might have tried to usurp his alleged drunken behaviour.

Alas, there was no dishevelled, kebab holding ex-footballers turning up to the studio in an inebriated state. The two ex-international players undertook their duties while on their best behaviour and immaculately dressed. If they were drunk they hid it well.

Sadly, there wasn’t the drama of a delay to the 5th round draw waiting for Gareth and Robbie to drunkenly finish the ‘Oops Upside Ya Head’ rowing dance. Not to mention, the absence of wooing the fragrant female presenter of the show….. Or not that was seen live on TV anyway!……. Call yourselves former footballers Savage and Southgate!

Anyway, good on you Rod, at least someone knows how to entertain their audience!


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