A Race Against Time

As I commence this tome, I’m slouched on a dining table chair, attempting to muster up the enthusiasm for a rare journey into the domain of multi-tasking. This infrequent venture necessary to allow me to conclude my blog in parallel with securing gig tickets online.

Like most guys, the capacity to only successfully manage one task at a time appears to be indelibly marked within my DNA.

The only caveat being when my deoxyribonucleic acid is a benefactor of the aligned acts. Meaning, as my DNA has always wanted to witness the ex-Genesis drummer Phil Collins in concert, this morning I’ve been given special neurological dispensation to allow tandem functioning.

As I start this paragraph, I have one eye on my O2 priorities account which has just provisionally assigned me two tickets. I now have 5.41 minutes to secure this purchase……. Oh, hold on a second, these are vouchers to attend a reading by a beatnik poet called Jed Jeddington at the Tipton Library…… Bollocks, I’ve clicked on the wrong event tickets….. Even with dispensation, this multi-tasking ain’t easy!

Come on concentrate, Gary. Your DNA is counting on you to get it into that gig!

OK, I’ve now been assigned the correct tickets, with only 4.52 minutes to secure them, so don’t distract me….. Oh, bloody hell my payment cards are upstairs….. I’ll be right back!


Right, I’ve returned to slouching on the dining room chair, card in hand and beads of perspiration on brow. The sweat courtesy of a run up the stairs, combined with anxiety brought on by only having 3.32 minutes left to secure the purchase.

Here we go then, firstly check the ticket details:- Artist is Phil Collins – check; Correct northern metropolis venue – check; Date/Time in November as requested – check; Correct total price (Even though it’s more than I wanted to pay) – check.

That checked ok, now to swiftly move onto entering the payment details. Make haste, Gary, there’s only 2.47 minutes left before you lose the tickets!

Damn, now I have a raft of unanticipated onscreen boxes to tick….. Do I want to insure the tickets? Do I want to join the Phil Collins fan club and get free drumstick signed by Ken Barlow from Corrie? Is it ok for Ticketmaster to inundate my email account with Alfie Boe anecdotes?……….. IT’s a quick tick on the ‘NO’ box for all of those me thinks.

Right, 2.04 minutes before my Phil Collins tickets are returned onto the open market. Quickly, get those payment card details entered GJS!

Right, that’s done with 37 seconds to spare, all that’s required now is to click on the ‘Pay’ button…… Oh, hang on a minute, there’s two more questions further down the page, above the payment button….. Am I sure I don’t want to insure the tickets? Are you certain you don’t want Ticketmaster to email you Alfie Boe’s tales of Blackpool?

A swift ‘NO’ response for those enquiries. I’ve just the payment button left to click……There we are, my parallel task is successfully, and somewhat surprisingly, completed……. With a mere 7 seconds left, I get confirmation that I’ve secured tickets for a Phil Collins gig in November….. Phew!!

On my laptop, I flick to my email account, where I’ve just received an email from Ticketmaster confirming the ticket transaction; raising a smile of contentment on my ordinarily undemonstrative visage.

Actually, what’s this second communication that’s just arrived from Ticketmaster?…… Bloody hell, despite my wishes to the contrary, they’ve forwarded an Alfie Boe narrative about how Blackpool’s Golden Mile got its name!

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