Wintertide At The Fox
Parkland situ alehouse
Stout of porter and constitution
Thou comforting embers aglow
Warming soul and spirit from unwanted chill.
Wintertide sanctuary from Theoi Meteoroi
Sustain thy children until time of bell
Till adieus fall silent from thy ears
And the Peroni pipes flow abates
The Road to Recovery
2014, bereft of identity, hybrid of accent
Self-induced annihilation of the yeti in the aircraft hanger
On the group selfie, negative identities say “cheese”
Smiling at their dominion over the half full brigade.
Ascension from the gutter sloth like
Notions of employability slow to diminish
Tergiversation of neurological mischief the catalyst
To thoughts of returning to the half full brigade.
But Out of Frank’s Life
Oh Francis ensconced at number 78
Apply caution as thy stack yon plate
Seek thine redemption in arable plenty
Like Marjorie Grimes from number 20.
Heed mine warning well-meaning Frank
Ignore and you’ll walk life’s short plank
Thine maker awaits with his footman reaper
Ignore that the chips are 50p cheaper.
Those argue that fat infuses taste
May diminish their longevity. What a waste
Address thy consumption for happier times
Oh shit, I’ve just run down Mrs Grimes!
The Swords of Damocles
Multiple of personality, singular of support
Multiple of swords, singular of intent
Not by halves does Damocles toil
Unlike the tormented, he can multitask.
How long will the swords dangle
The rancid status quo best scenario of the afflicted
Hope upon hope thine misery exacerbates not
Men in black top hats hold thy distance…. Get back!
Where art thou respite?
Thick of thieves with karma, conspicuous by your absence
Does your mucker still exist or has he stopped keeping score?
Hold thy position still thee men in black.
Six years endurance
People of medicine keeping the men in black at bay
Blind loyalty to yon unfeeling creators
Providing cover for their evading of raindrops.
The yeti ponders how to reconcile
His role as scapecoat tormenting his soul
The solitary carer in an ocean of those who don’t
Thoughts of an eventual sun rise saveth.
Chasing The Star Spangled Dream
Exiled Scot From Lone Star State
Whimple clad Austrian governess
Chaste carer of seven, notation guides with
Do Re Me Fa So La Ti
Well meaning girl spreading lark song.
Exiled Scot of Lone Star state
Dharma taught, advocate of Manjushri mantra
Om Ah Ra Pa Chi Nhah Dhih
Well meaning chant of righteous ideology.
Girl of the oil rich state
Riches gained from sources of truth
Avarice of those in denial spurned
Faith unwavering despite Karma’s reticence to reconcile.
Austin girl, thy suitor on white charger sought
Ne’r undervalue thine worth and contribution
Those who shout loudest mustn’t prevail
Their path often less enduring and true.
Lassie of Caledonian ancestry
At times of doubt remember thine forefathers sacrifice
Leaving cold climes and poverty of the motherland
Travelling west for your star spangled dream.
Leopards with Immovable Markings
Repentance via hymn song and amen
Redeemed by your disingenuous Sunday words
Grinning kirk leavers, hasten back to awaiting moral high ground
Absolved of sins, given guilt free return to job judgemental.
Pointless promises from the misguidedly self-righteous
Who belief Insincere covenants and pew presence usurp actions
Carte Blanche given by pulpit orators, who sanction
The leopards redemption irrespective of their immovable markings.
What is the point of disingenuous Sunday words?
Yes thee, leopard with no intent to adhere to spiritual teachings
Why false promises to your Father and Son?
Cable TV and the less righteous impatiently await thy presence.
Why then leopard thine sojourn to Sunday kirk?
Thy fear of a heated final destination?
Misguided belief that your maker has stopped keeping score?
Or delusions it sanctions judgement over pesky pew dodgers?
Bear in mind leopard, whether pew dweller or not
Actions usurp thine lyrics insincere.
The pulpit sage’s admonishment of your sins
Bear more truth than your disingenuous Sunday words.
The Stork and The Rooster
The stork and the rooster
Not of the avian type, despite peacock feathers
Source of beatitude, kin contentment
Gladful humanity pours from thy pores.
The stork and the rooster
Ne’r doubt thine calibre
Not inferior or usurping of peers
Learn and grow spirit from thy and pa’s faux pas’.
The stork and the rooster
Fulfilment comes not with acquisition of riches
Contentment is in decency and compassion
Be happy with thy bins, they are only half full like thy glass.
The stork and the rooster
Embrace positivity, spurn idiocy of fools
Offer not fake promises or falsehoods
Ne’r stoop to the lower standards of the spiteful.
The stork and the rooster
Locutions can’t convey thy pater’s pride of thee
His legacy greater than lexilogical utterances
Squabble not over the memorabilia, books or sovereigns bestowed.
The stork and the rooster
Maintain the path thine both tread
Ignore re-routed navigation of misguided folly
Be true to thyself mes beaux enfants.
Little Man
Self appointed family head; though mine not
Bereft of affection, apart from thine self
Demands respect undeserved
Little man chip, fishing for attention.
Uneducated blark, vain glorious delusions
Thy face minus the proboscis removed by thee in spite
Robbed of memories by misguided stance
Verbal engagement a one way street.
Inarticulate man, incomplete of sentence
Mashie niblic importance usurps that of kin
Head in bunker sand, or masonic posterior?
Luckily dual visages allows both.
Real man doesn’t countenance culinary skills
Passes advice, his position of unworthy
I long for days you and your rancid betrothed
Are my existential recycle bin bound.
Angel of the North
Mine Angel of the North
Diminutive of stature, gargantuan of courage
Stoically resists odious foe’s grotesque itinerary
Lion-like tenacity, spirit and determination your sabre
Pharmaceutical intervention your trusted shield.
Mine Angel of the North
Another birthday in thy family’s bosom
Defying odds, despite nemesis lingering like faeces on gleaming brogue
Foe’s eviction from family home shall never be
Yet smile unrelenting, domain illuminated by your whimsy.
Mine Angel of the North, as balladeer John, you’re a legend
Struck at four and two score summers, yet bitterness no friend
Anger deemed futile, energy required for upcoming crusades
An unwinnable war, but battle victories proceed unabated.
Mine Angel of the North
Selflessness undiminished by pain and fatigue bequeathed by rancid foe
Brood given unconditional precedence over thyself
The stork, rooster and I wish thee a glorious anniversary of birth
Thy contribution to our existential journey immeasurable.
Ode to Summer Breeze
Unrelenting summer breeze
Seemingly perennial companion of solar rays and precipitation
Diminishing comfort of suns flares in thy spite
Diminishing anthropilan pollen hauls
Diminishing once sturdy structures with thine bluster
Enhancing no-one’s existence but Gail with thy blowing.
Unapologetic gusts, thine cussed traits
Meteorological mischief, curse of the Anemoi
Destruction bequeathed to flora and fauna
Disorientating avian avigation
Deteriorating joy for vacationing broods
Can thy not bestow respite from your fury betwixt spring and fall?
What bringeth thine contemporary pre-fall choler?
Is there no recess from daily toil?
Iberian peninsula beckons for your assuagement
Iberian peninsula can temper thine temper
Iberian peninsula has ‘all inclusive’ offers in selected hostelries
Caution required under midday solar flares, forget thee not thy factor 30.
I share not the Isley Brothers sentiments about thee summer breeze
Agreeing not that you make me feel fine
Or indeed blow through the jasmine in my mind
Vacation require to rid your grey pallor
Rest thine weary limbs from relentless exertion
But if you go remember to turn off the immersion.
Railway Town Termagant
“Are you keeping it?” inquired odious product of railway town
‘Overwhelmed’ at news of impending grand motherhood
Bereft of redeeming features the harridan hints at the unthinkable
Despite daughter one score and three summers, husband secure of employ
Virulent imbecile, gloom-ridden of demeanour
Sixty years wed to fellow imbecile
Although, opposites attract more than thy sham betrothal
Selfish meets soul bereft of endearing features, a doomed fusion
Fishwife, evolved without humanity or thought
Hobby dressing thy twins identically even in adulthood
Taints all suitors of thine dolls comparing to halfwit consort
Quite unbelievably you bear the mantle of brains of the outfit!
Virago without virtue
Job judgemental suits you not
Ne’er comforted thy incurable stricken doll
Ensuring positivity doesn’t darken thine door your ultimate priority.
When you meet your maker product of railway town
How will you reconcile thine rancid life?
I suspect he won’t countenance your tails from the tabloids
Your misguided self-righteousness augmented more by thy dolls
I conclude mine prose now seamstress
You deluded termagant proffering your doll married beneath her
You’re akin to faeces on my polished shoe sole
I can’t wait for a time when you’re hosed off for good!
Jardin Sanctuary
Kaleidoscopic sanctuary, redolent of perfume
Beautifying Castle of Englishman, with Caledonian moniker
Nurtured over a score summers with scheme and graft
Perennial pride of Englishman and stricken betrothed
Source of fleeting liberty from existential foreboding
Nature’s sword against unyielding angst
Jardin avec cornucopia of colour
Irises a sight for sore irises
Lilly the pink, not of Scaffold offering
Nectar rich foxglove stands stoic against mollusc’s relentless assault
Lavender bouquet fit for veiled half of matrimony’s bouquet
Horticultural majesty amongst suburbia of bustling metropolis.
Diminutive garden in God’s own county
No water-feature like vast parkland of which to boast
Fret not David as thy allure cannot be usurped by Goliath
Your volition forbids aesthetic acquiescence to foes of scale
Hold thy petal rich stems vain-gloriously high
No peacock display can transcend thy multi-coloured splendour.
Solar rays are no longer your bed fellow my kaleidoscopic sanctuary
Although capriciously seeking short term suitors in other climes
Fear not as their heart is yours, Englishman’s garden
A rendezvous may be only a handful of hours away
When the thirst quenching water bequeathed by the Englishman
Along with the warmth of their touch will re-invigorate once more.
Patron Saint of Spite
Indiscriminate cacodemon, lesions of evil
Patron saint of spite, malodorous mutation
Seven years of your malevolence weighs heavy, though I vow won’t break me
In spite of blighting an eighth of mine two score and fourteen summers.
Odious demigod, taunting from behind barrier incurable
You may win the war, but not every battle initiated
Mine betrothed lion-hearted in spirit won’t acquiesce without scrap
Resistance ne’er futile with rancid foe as thee.
Posterior parked on broods existential chaise longue
Goading from position terminal and skeletal infiltration
Indestructible like the scarlet captain
But thy agenda of carnage, polar opposite of agent red.
Mutant cell, devoid of redeeming features
Will thy ever tire of the misery you bestow?
What manifests such vindictiveness?
Alma mater bullying, or role model rancid I’d conject.
Spiteful canker, no positive value to existence
Bar perhaps fellows in tall black hats and stockholder pharmaceutical
Your seven winter presence may have draining emotionally
Consequential resilience , though, usurps thy festering agenda.
Woodhouse Man
Woodhouse man
Brick house foundations bestowed upon brood
Deterring villainous wolf attentions
Encouraging predator to seek less secure footings.
Woodhouse man
Proud gentleman of white rose burgh
Undemonstrative, periphery your comfort zone
Unperturbed at allowing the less worthy centre stage.
Woodhouse man
In a shithouse world
Your gifts greater than the guinea or sovereign
Humanity, security, caring and selflessness thine riches bestowed.
Woodhouse man
No more undervalue thine contribution
Or decry your altruistic penchant
Instead, listen to quart score benefactors of thy self-sacrifice.
Woodhouse man
Coal house always replenished to warm thy clan
Sustenance and shelter remits unconditional
Those shouting louder, rant with less erudition.
Woodhouse man
Providing legacy of pure selflessness
In portal of misguided self-entitlement
Provision for brood thy unquestioning boon.
Woodhouse man
Thine discomfort in ailment
Felt emotionally analogous by distressed brood
Convalesce swiftly loving Woodhouse man.
The Only Outlet
Only outlet to bid au revoir?
Malcontent’s frustration the gift that keeps giving
What respite for the tortured yeti?
Negative imbecilic cankers of one score and ten summers
Conspire with carcinogenic canker of seven winters
Intentional objective of diminishing spirit, melancholy to nurture.
Chewy’s enduring misfortune manifest his dwindling faith
Notions of future illumination of fortunes despairingly plummet
Half full crystal glass morphs to semi empty beaker
Damocles’ pristine dual sabres maintain menace above brood’s pates
Ambiguity reins at spousal & pater’s wellbeing, likewise future employ
Imperceptible support, enforced celibacy their burdensome accomplices.
Solitary outlet have one or three more for the road
Yeti prefers semi empty beaker to barren chalice
Allowing sole avenue to divert from existential misery
Anger & bitterness, bed fellows yeti doesn’t wish to embrace
Realising the folly of epiphanies of negativism
His only wish continuance of that solitary outlet.
O’night Dream
O’night dream, connotation concealed
Taunting soul wi’ secret elucidation
Norn man regressed to childhood forefathers domain
Loft hiding clandestine past
Water tank, Pandora’s Box Norn man reticent to unlatch
O’night dream, connotation concealed
Recurring visit to furrowed playing fields of youth
Like a spectre, Norn man adorns all white
Only ghosting though is beyond opposition.
Utopian time in No 8 sock tags
O’night dream, connotation concealed
Norn man yet again procures airborne powers
Despite emu flight capability returned at slumbers end
Interpretation of visions baffles hopeless dreamer
Explication lacks clarity of visual definition.
O’night dream, connotation concealed
Why pitch Norn man in 26 mile torture
Wakes from slumber exhausted, donning foil blanket
Distressed at missing personal best time by 1.2 seconds
Assign his Margot Robbie epiphanies as recurring nap visions.
O’night dream, connotation concealed
Lately, Norn man’s waking angst mirrored in slumber
Grant respite in unconsciousness to tortured soul
His want a domain of rest while sleeping
A time of equanimity too much to ask?
Job Judgemental
Disparaging judge in ivory tower
Deflecting deficiencies with efficacious venom
Concern thyself with flaws of reflected image
Assess not the non-reflected
Their footsteps thou hasn’t ambulated.
Paragon of virtue, self-appointed of role
Cast first stone if without sin
On realisation of thy flaws, humility exhibit
Return stone groundward, polish glass house in lieu
Judge instead a journey in the non-reflected’s footprints.
Backstabbing miscreant, villain of misinformation
Negativity your default stance, be positive of that
Ricocheting attention resolves not foibles
No doubt a blemish humanity bereft
Ministration usurps assassination of character every-time.
Author of poem, hypocrisy spouting
Guilty of duplicity, accepting job judgemental
Sonnet of self-righteousness, misguided sanctity
Practise thy preaching, anger unresolved by vitriolic prose
Incidentally, there’s a splendid 3 for 2 yoghurt offer on at Tesco.
Delay the Flight
Existential departure lounge
Sorry, but passport bereft traveller can’t venture
He seeks return to bosom of brood
Akin to kin, interim delay in one way flight sought
He’ll return eventually, aware avoidance no option.
Where art aviation controllers strike?
Where art handlers o’ baggage mischief?
Where art failure technical?
Where art meteorological interference?
Conspicuous by absence, undesired smooth path bequeathed.
Traveller aware no brood escapes pain of departure
His kin expectations unreasonable not
One more for the road, as proffered by Francis Albert
Family of Caledonian name seeking boarding higher than Gate 81
Clan Destine in the dark
Roy Castle advocated value of dedication
Keith Richard dabbled with medication
Clan Destine seek traveller’s pain cessation
Allow once again eves of merlot bouquet and Bobby Darrin lament
A gratitude deserved by the clan’s Clark Kent.
Look after our Girl, Canada
Domain of Maple Leaf, Mountie, Moose
Thou hath lured our girl from her Anglo hoose
Land claimed by Cabot for an English king
Take his descendants subject under thine wing
Timbits, Molson Dry, Nova Scotian donair
Yorkshire lass has sacrificed puddings to consume thine fine fare
Metropolis’ of Calgary, Toronto, Vancouver
She’ll ne’r say vacuum, to her it’s to hoover
Birthplace of Buble, Dion, Gosling
For thine sake, on karaoke night don’t let her sing
The dominion provider of Spock’s gaffer
Please forgive this prose that couldn’t be naffer
She adores outdoor activities, is enamoured consuming sliders
Be aware though, the lady freaks over potato chips and spiders
British Columbia, Ontario, Alberta
She answers to the name Rach not Gerta (……. look, you try get a rhyme for Alberta!)
Nowhere Man On The Hill
Mushy mind, emotions spent
Enduring anger persists at karma’s folly
Dysfunction reigns, parasol protects not
Pretentious prose mine novel distraction
Wordsworth without the words
Shelley without the shell.
Unrelenting detritus, any plans to move on?
Like fab quartet mused, fool on the hill’s wants are excessive not
Nowt high maintenance sought by nowhere man
Peace of mind his solitary goal on mystery tour
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?
His mother should know, but isn’t sure.
Rudderless fool, hill in situ
Sees the sun going down; while the eyes in head
Witness revolutions of globe
Nowhere man refuses to recant creative musings
Lifetime of acquiescence a strategy long gone
Difference now embraced, negative spouting disregarded with distain.
Animals Aren’t We
It’s all a game mused marginalised yeti
Animals aren’t we
Food, water, procreation and shelter
Necessities all, rest just padding
They short term fix of comfort, till dwindling rush abates
Moving onto next misguided existential purchase
Bizarrely, expecting a long-standing misery solution.
In globe where happiness sold with prefix ‘i’
There is not ‘i’ in contentment, unless misspelt
There is ‘i’ in misguided, foolish, addiction, possessions and delusional
What brings long-term fulfilment, queries proletariat?
What’s worth of keeping up with the Jones’?
Their discontentment akin to yours
Only further fiscally challenged by thy folly.
Should the Jones’ role models be?
Should not the genuinely happy be sought for thy redemption?
Contentment a chalice well concealed
Thought required uncovering the veiled cup
Edify the misguided on strategy spend
As conclusion of sonnet my priority now
While I procure magic beans for our haggard old cow.
Paean World
Exclamation mark overload of rookie penman
Grammar erratic, improvement thine goal
Critique from academic justified on curve tutorial
Veiled feedback pivotal for hirsute dreamer
Gratitude to academic, her evaluation requisite
Sets deluded man of hair, on terra firma anew
Still seeking amnesty from grammar police.
Words of academic, tuition, guidance
Adherence essential, dovetailing with mother language doyens.
Jack o’ all trades, yet mastering them requires yeti’s yakka
Literary employ still remains pipe dream
Piper long paid; now where art yeti’s recompense?
Hard yards done, reward conspicuous with absence
“One day!” his numerous personalities attempt to re-assure.
Are epiphanies worthy of guerdon?
Or are delusions unfurling from cranial corners?
How gauge thy work in portal prose?
Paean world a theme park, no sanctions of height or write
Quality measurements an unknown quantity
Quantity measures correctly usurped by quality
Literary yield immaterial, calibre decrees sonnet significance.
Legacy
“I was in Bagdad when you were in your dad’s bag.”
Proffered forefather, mischievous of trait, maternal of line
Playfully admonishing grandson for misguided patronisation
“In Armley Jail, you get no ale”
A ditty to same boy, courtesy of paternal rooted gramps
Tongue in cheek indoctrination of folly of crime
Ancestors DNA disparate, humour homogenous.
WWII paters, with weapons of wit
Advice in 70s from men in their 70’s
Erudite advisors with larking demeanour
Unconditionally they enlighten the conditional
Lighting rooms with banter, Lighting tobacco with habit
Their ardours ITV Seven dovetailing Leeds United eleven
Both sought merriment in peers and piers.
Grandson covets forefathers of kindred spirit
Their tongue in cheek, his cheek in tongue
Melancholy manifests, impetus deprived confab of adulthood
Yeti desires meeting once again
It’s over thirty years since grandson met forefathers
Yet still they live through his banter inane
Legacy to the boy and generations forthwith.
Visions On Vine
Visages staring from branches o’ shrubbery
Perennial renderings in tree and bush exhibition
Unfailingly stern or melancholic in façade
None smile at yeti, dans le beau jardin
What intimation thy presence moot.
Why face mournful evergreen verdure?
Fauna existence akin to sapiens morose?
Plant Prozac may uplift from mental canker
Lavender lithium may sooth thy angst
Neurotransmitters desire sustenance phostrogen.
Institute warning? Aegis witness?
Thy gargoyle display promises not blithe intent
Notre Dame’s fauna version offers no sanctuary
Bells ring not for thee with thy woebegone countenance
Mark well, if wind changeth, thou may remain that way.
Loco Motives
Childhood domain bound, tracks below feet
Domicile o’ inculcation, though birthplace possesses heart
Half century crisis of identity, through yeti unable to embrace
Self-induced purgatory, mind tormented for his folly
If purgatory a halfway house, then has he departed?
His final journey, destination redemption.
Locomotive, what are loco man’s motives
Tracks are not of tears, like The Miracles
Cathartic sojourn, bridge of Tyne rebuilding
Redemption sought extinguishing burning pont
Time and yeti can only tell if inner tranquillity attained
Continued peripheral situ shall failure prevail.
Delusions of Grandma
In Hamlet not village without church
Will wrote of villains who smile and smile
Termagant’s daughter does odious role model proud
Thirty years torture of yeti despite consideration worthy
Harridan proud of misguided advice
Quartet of vain glorious delusional shout “Fore”
Termagant’s union of faeces, fuels anti-man spite
Tarring all geezers wi’ idiotic panoramic brush
Brush better used for removal of prevailing excrement
Retarded pairs oxygen theft not registered on sojourn imbecile
Smiles not suppressed for yeti’s celibacy enforced
Appreciation not sought expedient
Martinet’s offspring concentrating on sin not asinine
No-one matters but highly-strung quartet
Undeserved fatuousness matters not to ET doppelganger
Uneducated insensate blark talks at, not with
Seeks mentoring of grandchildren, more capable
Legacy worthless negativity, deluded importance.
Plummeting
Fallen from crest, carer careers
Heads for terra firma recalcitrantly
Clutched from catastrophe thy fate?
Or destiny distressing, firma terra destination?
Tune in next week
Same bat time, same bat channel
Yeti appears courtesy o’ Harry’s Chip Restaurant
Plummeting pugnaciously, redemption implausible
Saviour sought from plunge ruination
Outlets clandestine, strain draining of soul
Doth karma not dictate lustrous hereafter?
Recompense for recent fortunes rancid
Yeti then recalls karma non-existent
Crystal chalice semi vacant he opines at epiphany.
Capricious yeti’s plunges are frequent
Though blessedly thus far ne’er reached floor
Redeemer a chalice with halfway replenishment
Fill-up his fillip, required in haste
Where out thou flagon, hirsute man’s emancipator
Thine procrastination troubles soul, gravity leading on points
What do you mean “Dial 1 – for redemption, 2 – for counselling, 3 – for more options”?
Rite of Passage
Ninth month 1970
Boy of seven summers, witness of owl badge eleven inaugural
Peacocks by name but not by feather, plumage white of spectre
Shirts a blank canvas at kick-off, soon rendered by sweat and blood
Child’s blank canvas rendered by fledgling football memories
Pater’s eternal gift for offspring; a point from where he can’t regress
Amongst tribe, son’s first sample of Kop stale Tetley’s & urine eau de cologne
Today’s foes the Saints come marching out, being in their number not option
Boy’s heart belongs to achromatically feathered peacocks.
Sat on barrier, lad’s blue eyes witness tepid game opening by owl badge eleven
Saints early Kop end penalty, crowd’s catalyst to broaden lad’s vocabulary
Giant Welsh striker Davies confronted by compatriot Sprake
A keeper blonde of lock, error prone of disposition
Davies the Penalty strikes ball hard to Sprake the Saves left
Viking like stopper prevails, pouncing on left corner bound sphere
Boy surprised to hear Kop brisk words of celebration mirror those of anger
Men in black with white napkin collar still targeted for abuse regardless
Wee fella wisely refrains enquiring “Dad, what’s a bastard?”
Despite young age, aware caution required before mimicking tribe.
Later half uno, owl badge eleven now spot-kick recipients
Kop question not decision of man in black
His parent’s marital status at birth not felt worthy of mention on this occasion
Emerald Isle schemer, not farmer, Giles stands hands on hips awaiting
Crowd expectant, hoping his wellington boots won’t hinder strike
With Scratching Shed stood adjacent, penalty dispatched top left
1-0 owl badge eleven lead, Yer man from land of little people milks adulation
Adulation not cow from County Kerry, but plaudits of Elland Road tribe
Remainder of contest barren. Saints march home point bereft
For boy, commencement of over two score years of elation, tears, euphoria and fears.
Sanctuaire de Kaleidoscopique
Sanctuaire de kaleidoscpocique
Deciduous trees in backdrop, gossiping in mumble, volition breeze
Jardin yeti’s zone o’ comfort; pyracantha unforgiving spikes sole nemesis
Beauty horticultural is fete accompli
Sweat, doggedness drivers of colour cornucopia
Unforgiving rainstorm forecast, flora and flora pray no mirage.
Hirsute man’s perspiration, spouse’s garden design of aspiration
Sweat worth unequivocal outcome of charm
Hydrangeas exhibit vain glorious, lilies dwindle as petals spent; hibernation preaently
Lavender’s fragrant frond diminishing, anthophila’s work nature’s perennial legacy
Begonia’s low maintenance appreciated, No requirement for begonia’s to be gone with ya
Matured shrubs of scale, conceal immature weeds of scale.
Spectrum of colour, spectrum of delight
Nine months thy gestate akin to embryo’s tenancy
Yeti often awestruck at nature’s refinement,
Situ of comfort thine heartwarming bosom, toilsome not.
Situ of therapy toilsome neither, bosom thine counselling
Dusk arrives, a lighting inertia detracts not from pulchritude.
New Dawn at LS11?
In cantilever stand, perches boy; heir apparent
Adjacent perches hirsute father; hair apparent
Mild April eve in LS11, fledgling noughties
White hat’s with white plumage seek further tarry
One of quart legions left standing, now seeking scalp Valencian
Foe’s both achromatic of uniform; visitors acquiesce, clashing colour forbidden
Beyond expectation performance bring charges of Emerald Isle leader to final verge
Catalan, Spanish, Belgian, Italian, German colossuses already put to the sword
Battles prevailed by youthful conscripts in legion’s conquest European.
“We wore wordy winners!” ancestor of Leary opines every post battle
Top man with silver hair basks in reflective glory of initial success,
Flip side implosion not of his doing. Guilt laid at door of legion’s legions.
Thirst for overly hasty march on together a driver for board’s irresponsible acquisitions?
Whatever; was catalyst to diminishing of seeing win; more downs than ups
Forwards times seven excessive, solitary chle ar ais misguided
Irish lottery, jackpot squandered; legion’s legions decry acts ever Fowler
Divisive guilt game spanning o’er decade, no benefactors apparent
Solitary perennial victims zealots amour unconditional.
April night, pre-Valencian spat, the future appeared achromatic
Heir apparent and hair apparent oft mull over this time of mortgaged plenty
Though witnessing Madrid in LS11 was real; along with dispatching Barcelona
Fifteen months on, Emerald Isle gaffer deposed; legion unable to secure bank loana
Not long into noughties, inevitable acrimonious divorce from elite division
LS11 legion keep the cd’s and goldfish, but controversially lose the kids
Disingenuous dawns aplenty, ignominy of third tier stint divorce’s legacy
Is Latin lothario new suitor to rekindle elite division affair?
Puoi scommetterci il culo che lui è!
Utopia In Sock Tags
Matchstick arms enclosed in long sleeves achromatic
Boy of ten summers stretches cotton kit for palm stealth
Mimicking hero’s posture, in flight and in goal celebration
Visage smile matches contemporary shirt motif
Socks accessorized with tag blue, number eight white
Imitation accuracy usurps discomfort of adorning accessory.
His hero a man of Willenhall, Sniffer by pseudonym
Second born, though most successful of footballing sibling quartet
Moniker bequeathed at poacher’s goal sniffing prowess
Oft source of football fulfilment on boy’s canvas existential
One of eleven white-shirted gladiators; frequent bearers of audience delight
“Clarke, One-nil!” commentators soundbite; still oft recollected o’er 40 years hence .
Gladiators adorning all-white dispersed mid-decade 1970’s
Audience smile’s diminishing along with motif smiley
Boy’s puberty coincided, compounding adolescent angst
Child’s motif amour remains, though something died with exiting gladiators
Now middle aged, man will always procure comfort at childhood witness gladiatorial
At least until the world stops going around.
Glad To Have You Back
So glad to have you back where you belong
Satchmo’s salutations bestowed on returning Ms Levi
In Wakey suburbia, brood replicates Louis’ greeting, though pater recipient
Dolly replaced lyrically by Mally, apologies to Herman
A score and eleven sunsets incarcerated in bosom of healthcare institution
Octogenarian gaunt on return, though blessedly without canker of departure.
Unlike Ms Levi, no room swaying or band playing for old chap
No song from way back when
Judge, though, not on undemonstrative family show
Unmitigated delight pulses through broods veins
A month his struggle, 31 days clan purgatory
Recuperation priority, Yorkshireman’s return to institute not option.
As Louis Armstrong’s hailing of Dolly recrudesces dans mon tete
TV projects mashie niblick men; a few feet away Mally resides ‘his chair’ in situ
Immeasurable Clan glee, restoration of table head driver for joy
On TV, differing driver slices ball leading to perpetrator’s ‘Fore’ cry
Old man inexplicably takes evasive action, in spite of shout televisual
Ridicule desists, though, on errant golf ball resting on hearth rug.
Biting The Hand That Nourishes
Dodging the raindrops, umbrella arbitrary
Amongst plethora o’ undeserving thorns, a rose though not fragrant
Even though ‘team’ in maintenance, selflessness forthcoming not
No ‘i’ in lager but matters not to the misguided ego.
Disloyal parasite, disingenuous disposition
Biting the hand that feeds, deflecting thy inadequacies
Humanity devoid on thine vain-glorious parade float
Round the block anew, till self-indulgence fulfilled.
Who keeps score on opportunist’s wants?
Karma reticent of involvement; chameleon off-colour
O’Dowd’s boy’s dreamt of red, gold and green
Man without conviction has self-obsessed dreams.
When does self-absorption desist in mind mercenary?
Behaviour self-centred; imposter soft-centred ne’er arrives
With thy unmindful o’ foibles, unaware o’ deficiencies
Is remedying fissure a project too far?
Airing of Sale De Lavage
Torture, but conclusion unwanted
Score summers celibacy, enforced as with gaol dweller
Punishment though for crimeless act
Spiteful matriarch pride, her indoctrination prevails
“Opine thy suitor is toxic, conduct regardless”
Legacy of odious termagant, equally imbecilic spouse.
Yeti acquiesce not now, fury at long-term misguided idiocy
Score summers celibacy, reluctantly suffered for offspring’s good
Alternative, rancid town upbringing, heinous negative influence not option
Yeti blessed that offspring benefit, his sacrifice of no affection bears fruit
Odious matriarch and ‘special’ betrothed without grandchildren bond
In realisation of idiocy choice yeti demonisation, daughter’s kids bond not option.
Yeti despairs at union with family fuckwit
Joyless brood, bereft of intelligence, volition negativity
Paragraph four of this sonnet is bequeathed to your last score year memories
Also incorporate visits since terminally ill daughter’s diagnosis six winters past
Regardless, the scorer won’t be troubled
Plenty time to enjoy next world heat, no distraction from trip down memory lane.
Inconsistency by Adage
“I’m a lover not a fighter.” Jacko instructs Macca, argument over girl
“I’m a fighter not a lover.” claims erectility dysfunctional pugilist
“I’m a lothario not a blothario.” says misguided maker up of adages
“I’m a blothario not a lothario.” responds peer equally adept at adage incorrect.
“One swallow doesn’t make a summer.” proffers camouflaged ornithologist
“A summer doesn’t make one swallow.” retorts orally unfulfilled man.
“Kill two birds with one stone” maxim of proficient organiser
“Kill one Stone with two birds.” foolhardy plan of threesome crime agin Richards.
“It’s better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all.” advice to heartbroken buddy
“It’s better to have never loved, than loved and lost that idiot!” Aunt Maude opines
“Err on the side of caution when the crow’s fly south.” controversial advice from twitcher
“When crow’s fly south, fuck caution.” equally controversial advise from Uncle Frank.
Flotsam & Jetsam
Flotsam and jetsam,
Debris influx, terra firma destination final
Curlicue waves thine volition
Calm post-storm wreckage; redemption from waves unruly
Remnants in sanctuary, steadfast in surviving brow-beating.
Flotsam and jetsam,
In esse despite torrid odyssey
Plaudits deserved, unforgiving swell surfed
Metaphor for weathering life’s fervid waves
Perseverance essential; or no aftermath to sample.
Flotsam and jetsam,
What will norn man’s debris include at conclusion?
Venture horribilis to render his destination in situ sedimentary?
Or re-invigorated endurance aftermath consequential reward?
Is it too much to expect that norn man appropriates existential augmentation?
What Identity Crisis?
Over two hundred year roots in county of reverence
Place of birth and 1960’s appearance by grace of god
Baby boom nipper, Hyde Terrace emergence
Taken northward while still fledgling.
Birds not on drift southward, as in migration
Baby boomer appreciative of area resettled
Despite heart always being beckoned by genesis
Tormented, though abandonment of forefathers situ not option.
Refusal to acquiesce on identity isn’t without repercussions
Mind scrambled by unrelenting tribalism, foolhardy or not
Been back in roots domain over score years
Repercussions not banished, though baby boomer tormented no more.
Arbitrary Rhyming Poem
Achromatic canvas, sheet of white
I bequeath you my prose; I hope it’s not sh!te
Like driven snow, virginal coupon
Apologies for staining thee by spilling my soup on (Look you try get a rhyme with coupon!)
Chaste paper, bereft of type
My spicy lunch is giving me gripe
Cream parchment, untenanted voucher
Prepare for mountaineering tale by W.A.Poucher (Chuffing hell I’m not making this easy!)
Note paper magnolia, arbitrary of rhyme
Please forgive me for my literary crime
Now rendered with words, no long feel bare
The tongue in cheek nonsense from a guy with back hair
I look out my window at scarlet begonias
Aaaarrrgggh bollocks…… I’ve just stubbed my toe on a chair leg!
Part of the Reality Show
Evincing patience is virtuous, so proverb claims
An idiom once steadfastly embraced by the proletariat
Instant gratification, though, now king in kingdom of the self-entitled
In vogue devices deemed a human right by the misguided
Even politics gives impression this is all a reality TV show
When phone lines open, vote using my on-screen number.
Do I deserve your ballot support? Probably not
It matters not though; a quarter hour later the winner disappears
Unless lesson taken, resurfacing 5 years hence, 25 lbs heavier
To yet again becoming a side-show for the prurient masses
Throw in a sob story, your participation is guaranteed for another week
Throw in the towel, Warhol’s 15 minute fame baton passes to Stoke bloke.
If one can’t prevail, another adage suggests to join ‘em
But I’ve had a word with Em and I’m not welcome on ‘The Voice’
Restraining orders scupper plans to croon for Midlands beauty
Black Eyed Peas geezer and Leeds fan Ricky dodge a baritone bullet
Maybe Ant & Dec can facilitate my quarter of an hour in the sun
It’s a thought, but I’ll not splash on the factor 20 just yet.
Service Levels Over Spirit Levels
Collateral damage, or casualty plot clandestine?
Plot to cull with plot to kill?
Austerity frontage; cleansing of unwashed behind shield?
Poet of no political leaning, unsure of ruling class motives
Will they ever tire of gorging on Wonka’s lifetime supply of goodies?
Mr and Mrs Lateral-Damages son Colin unfortunate consequence
His profile high, subsequently results in proletariat demeanour low
Mrs Call’s son Fu, procrastinates; spirit broken in box ticking role
Only comfort his post work pint; buy one hangover get another free
Mr Soul’s son Caring, thought less of than odious brother Richard.
Scaremongering merges with spite; this sun needs no factor 30
PC political correctness misguidedly given precedence over PC police constable
Administrator’s service levels diminish medics spirit levels
Those levels have no chance of balance; not when there’s a box to tick
Only parity the ineptness of dwellers on whole of political spectrum.
Conversations Around The Coven
Conversations around the coven
Non-existent words, non-existent humanity
Locutions from locations without erudition
You can fool some of the people all of the time
Like hound dog mistreated, yeti will have his day.
Uh-hu, mmmh, ah-ha, parrot replication thy sole chatter
Does Polly want a cracker, thesaurus or dictionary
Offerings worthless, icy actions your maxim
Dual stirring of coven pot and excrement legacy to thine dolls
Positivity, warmth ne’er guests at thy rimy door.
Railway town termagant, was it all worth it?
Tainting other’s lives, revenging misdemeanours of others
Misguided beliefs, spewed by you unsympathetic harridan
Compassion shrouded, even for stricken doll
Blessedly, progenies of yeti obviated thy vitriolic indoctrination.
In Search O’ Four Holy Grails
Den of iniquity, with a fortuitous cast
Pimped, although from sources without hats
A score of ostentatious geezer’s, contesting four holy grails
Mother enquires is any player worth £100 million
“Neymar” opines her Yorkshire son.
Den of iniquity, questionable of behaviour
Tis’ no riddle why thy is wall to wall pitched
Be happy to know serial goal scorer has a cereal breakfast
Viewers sleep content at le petit dejeuner revelation
Their hard earned guinea allowing witness of corn flakes in HD.
Den of iniquity, Den of Bergkamp
Technology what’s in store for prurient viewer
Sock cam, glove cam, corn flake cam or Chris Kam cam?
Regardless, witnessing thy life is enhanced
Apart from Bert in Scunthorpe who’s bereft of goggle box
Bert in Scunthorpe how will thy cope
No TV to entertain, no forthcoming disclosure of hero’s cereal
Will you listen to Sam without cam and his face of matter?
Or is essentialfootballersbreakfasts.com thy destination
Either way, can I borrow your S-Club 7 greatest hits CD?
Sonnet Spontaneous
Sonnet spontaneous
Unplanned prose defiling chaste page
Epiphany evasive; topic timid
Dining chair in situ; inspiration yeti’s holy grail
Sustenance on hold in domain digestion.
Newsday of sloth speed, subject secreted safely
Will anecdotes of procrastination suffice?
Does drugstore sojourn present potential?
Yeti ventures not, along with earlier blog disclosure
Should he leave Pepys, Mole and Jones’ to journals aujourd’hui?
A licence artistic yeti’s potential recourse
Fictionalise day, wax lyric apocryphal
Concoct to dramatise jejune epoch
Diversion only outlet through torturous times
His last bastion of hope, the distraction of soliloquy.
Pomme Musique Memories
Pomme Musique joue For The Benefit of Mr Kite
Floats towards shell-like on digital sound not stiff breeze
Mr Kite’s journey no longer analogue, though original defined
Clarity multiplied from quartet’s original; though only diamond polish
Mr Kite has benefitted in resonation, pleasure though correlative.
La Marseillaise intro to agony aunt proffering
Well meaning advocacy, though yeti ponders what amour means
Affection, loyalty, confidante, lover, best friend?
Meal-ticket, manipulation, exploitation, manoeuvring?
The former a rare visitor at his door.
Yeti relates more to Fool On The Hill
Nobody wants to know him, alone on that hill
Over-analytical misinterpretation?
Notions basis of fact?
Head not world spins round.
Proud Legacy To Dolls
Mind countenances revenging entirety
Despite misdemeanours being actions of one
Bitterness, spite cascades from harridan’s dermis
Toxic tort, indoctrinating vitriol your proud legacy to dolls
Opining worthless, frontier gibberish of delivery.
Where art thou warmth and humanity railway town termagant?
Can it be exhumed, or has ne’er heretofore?
Thy slap heed betrothed proffers thee a coo
Rare accurate prophecy by ‘real man’ with mashie niblick
Sentiments mooted post social climbing in apron.
Job judgmental crone in town of cranes
Few visitors now blacken thy door
Be clear, every time you belittle folks a fox dies
Every time you watch Stuart Little a mouse talks
Incidentally, thy has a face akin to clumsy beekeeper.
Malice Revisited
Take on book A Town Like Alice
Shute’s tome given Modfather spin 82
Stop apologising, proffers bard
Seek not redemption, his rapid beat advocacy
Except things propagated thyself.
No guarantee of existential longevity
Though cruelty a certain acquaintance
From within thyself a change requires manifestation
Now factory in situ, empty milk carts of Weller’s 82
Though, dairy yard majority buried with Co-op shire horses.
As with bard’s observations 82, proletariat dilemma remains
New Schuh’s for young Al, or cocktail bar/kebab with Sal
Conundrum of uncertainty exists contemporary
Train continues clock-wise, breeze still masks giggling of junior
Thankfully over 35 summers, Modfather achieved goal of joy bestowed.
A Life in Caricature
A life in caricature; yeti’s shield
Court jester his sabre; difference he abhorred
Two score summers and ten, seeking tribe
Foolishly acquiescing, belonging incumbent.
Caricature now reconciled at possessing mind random
Vive la difference, mantra of his redemption
Worries not now of prejudiced fellows
Spiteful connivers; thimblerigging to deceive.
Incongruity acceptance is caricature’s saviour
Offending by discordance no longer a concern
Ne’er agin approval sought from peers unworthy
Thoughts of the vindictive, cogitated not.
Where do you progress hence, caricature?
Worthy of more than existential past
What seeks thee for future fulfilment?
When clouds depart, whisper thy plan.
Sojourn in the Fog
Muddled, befuddled, disorientated, addled
Lexicologically akin, each suffixed with ‘led’
Apart from disorientated; maverick that conforms not
Bewildered states, though not star spangled.
Fog remains, contrary to forecast
Keeley promised sunshine; absence though conspicuous
One day yeti will need factor 20
Terrible storm though a pre-requisite.
Hirsute man accepts strain universal
Dwellers by billion usurp his existential heinousness
Though fool on the hill he isn’t fool, or on hill
Physical and moral high ground circumvented.
Fog best case scenario for caricature
Storm an imposter dreaded by Chewy
Chewy’s wrath dreaded by imposter
Hair today gone tomorrow.
And When They Were Up….
In stadium white rose, rendezvous unexpected
Pater and his boy, a chance encounter
Offspring’s trademark smile greets old man
Joint remit witnessing of Roses War skirmish
Willow belabouring leather sphere contest
Superior tally victor; Lewis/Duckworth welcome not
Will the House of York or Lancaster prevail?
A battle to win, though not victory of war.
Progenitors of Plantagenet House bear witness
Uncovered stands residence, boisterous in ale
Headingley field not Bosworth their canvas
Recurring chant of counties moniker, zealots taunt
Yorkist’s batting momentum, precipitation derailed
Nimbus clouds bequeathment awaken Lewis & Duckworth
Mercifully short-lived break, returning mathematicians to slumber
Hosts total 182; House of Lancaster stint commences.
Duke of York’s 10,000 men on terraces bay 11 soldiers home
Marching to top of hill and back down ale bound
Always up, Tudor’s forebears always down
Apart from when halfway up, pre-Buttler demise
Precipitation returns while fat lady clears throat
With dozen Yorkist deliveries vestigial, Lewis & Duckworth slumber on
Concluded by quartet dismissals swift, Duke of York’s tribe proclaim
Delight a small recompense for Tudor’s feudalism of centuries past.
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