Prose In Repose


Wintertide At The Fox

Parkland situ alehouse
Stout of porter and constitution
Thou comforting embers aglow
Warming soul and spirit from unwanted chill.

Wintertide sanctuary from Theoi Meteoroi
Sustain thy children until time of bell
Till adieus fall silent from thy ears
And the Peroni pipes flow abates


The Road to Recovery

2014, bereft of identity, hybrid of accent
Self-induced annihilation of the yeti in the aircraft hanger
On the group selfie, negative identities say “cheese”
Smiling at their dominion over the half full brigade.

Ascension from the gutter sloth like
Notions of employability slow to diminish
Tergiversation of neurological mischief the catalyst
To thoughts of returning to the half full brigade.


But Out of Frank’s Life

Oh Francis ensconced at number 78
Apply caution as thy stack yon plate
Seek thine redemption in arable plenty
Like Marjorie Grimes from number 20.

Heed mine warning well-meaning Frank
Ignore and you’ll walk life’s short plank
Thine maker awaits with his footman reaper
Ignore that the chips are 50p cheaper.

Those argue that fat infuses taste
May diminish their longevity. What a waste
Address thy consumption for happier times
Oh shit, I’ve just run down Mrs Grimes!


The Swords of Damocles

Multiple of personality, singular of support
Multiple of swords, singular of intent
Not by halves does Damocles toil
Unlike the tormented, he can multitask.

How long will the swords dangle
The rancid status quo best scenario of the afflicted
Hope upon hope thine misery exacerbates not
Men in black top hats hold thy distance…. Get back!

Where art thou respite?
Thick of thieves with karma, conspicuous by your absence
Does your mucker still exist or has he stopped keeping score?
Hold thy position still thee men in black.

Six years endurance
People of medicine keeping the men in black at bay
Blind loyalty to yon unfeeling creators
Providing cover for their evading of raindrops.

The yeti ponders how to reconcile
His role as scapecoat tormenting his soul
The solitary carer in an ocean of those who don’t
Thoughts of an eventual sun rise saveth.



Chasing The Star Spangled Dream

Exiled Scot From Lone Star State

Whimple clad Austrian governess

Chaste carer of seven, notation guides with

Do Re Me Fa So La Ti

Well meaning girl spreading lark song.


Exiled Scot of Lone Star state

Dharma taught, advocate of Manjushri mantra

Om Ah Ra Pa Chi Nhah Dhih

Well meaning chant of righteous ideology.


Girl of the oil rich state

Riches gained from sources of truth

Avarice of those in denial spurned

Faith unwavering despite Karma’s reticence to reconcile.


Austin girl, thy suitor on white charger sought

Ne’r undervalue thine worth and contribution

Those who shout loudest mustn’t prevail

Their path often less enduring and true.


Lassie of Caledonian ancestry

At times of doubt remember thine forefathers sacrifice

Leaving cold climes and poverty of the motherland

Travelling west for your star spangled dream.




Leopards with Immovable Markings

Repentance via hymn song and amen

Redeemed by your disingenuous Sunday words

Grinning kirk leavers, hasten back to awaiting moral high ground

Absolved of sins, given guilt free return to job judgemental.


Pointless promises from the misguidedly self-righteous

Who belief Insincere covenants and pew presence usurp actions

Carte Blanche given by pulpit orators, who sanction

The leopards redemption irrespective of their immovable markings.


What is the point of disingenuous Sunday words?

Yes thee, leopard with no intent to adhere to spiritual teachings

Why false promises to your Father and Son?

Cable TV and the less righteous impatiently await thy presence.


Why then leopard thine sojourn to Sunday kirk?

Thy fear of a heated final destination?

Misguided belief that your maker has stopped keeping score?

Or delusions it sanctions judgement over pesky pew dodgers?


Bear in mind leopard, whether pew dweller or not

Actions usurp thine lyrics insincere.

The pulpit sage’s admonishment of your sins

Bear more truth than your disingenuous Sunday words.




The Stork and The Rooster

The stork and the rooster

Not of the avian type, despite peacock feathers

Source of beatitude, kin contentment

Gladful humanity pours from thy pores.


The stork and the rooster

Ne’r doubt thine calibre

Not inferior or usurping of peers

Learn and grow spirit from thy and pa’s faux pas’.


The stork and the rooster

Fulfilment comes not with acquisition of riches

Contentment is in decency and compassion

Be happy with thy bins, they are only half full like thy glass.


The stork and the rooster

Embrace positivity, spurn idiocy of fools

Offer not fake promises or falsehoods

Ne’r stoop to the lower standards of the spiteful.


The stork and the rooster

Locutions can’t convey thy pater’s pride of thee

His legacy greater than lexilogical utterances

Squabble not over the memorabilia, books or sovereigns bestowed.


The stork and the rooster

Maintain the path thine both tread

Ignore re-routed navigation of misguided folly

Be true to thyself mes beaux enfants.


Little Man

Self appointed family head; though mine not

Bereft of affection, apart from thine self

Demands respect undeserved

Little man chip, fishing for attention.


Uneducated blark, vain glorious delusions

Thy face minus the proboscis removed by thee in spite

Robbed of memories by misguided stance

Verbal engagement a one way street.


Inarticulate man, incomplete of sentence

Mashie niblic importance usurps that of kin

Head in bunker sand, or masonic posterior?

Luckily dual visages allows both.


Real man doesn’t countenance culinary skills

Passes advice, his position of unworthy

I long for days you and your rancid betrothed

Are my existential recycle bin bound.



Angel of the North

Mine Angel of the North
Diminutive of stature, gargantuan of courage
Stoically resists odious foe’s grotesque itinerary
Lion-like tenacity, spirit and determination your sabre
Pharmaceutical intervention your trusted shield.

Mine Angel of the North
Another birthday in thy family’s bosom
Defying odds, despite nemesis lingering like faeces on gleaming brogue
Foe’s eviction from family home shall never be
Yet smile unrelenting, domain illuminated by your whimsy.

Mine Angel of the North, as balladeer John, you’re a legend
Struck at four and two score summers, yet bitterness no friend
Anger deemed futile, energy required for upcoming crusades
An unwinnable war, but battle victories proceed unabated.

Mine Angel of the North
Selflessness undiminished by pain and fatigue bequeathed by rancid foe
Brood given unconditional precedence over thyself
The stork, rooster and I wish thee a glorious anniversary of birth
Thy contribution to our existential journey immeasurable.


Ode to Summer Breeze

Unrelenting summer breeze

Seemingly perennial companion of solar rays and precipitation

Diminishing comfort of suns flares in thy spite

Diminishing anthropilan pollen hauls

Diminishing once sturdy structures with thine bluster

Enhancing no-one’s existence but Gail with thy blowing.


Unapologetic gusts, thine cussed traits

Meteorological mischief, curse of the Anemoi

Destruction bequeathed to flora and fauna

Disorientating avian avigation

Deteriorating joy for vacationing broods

Can thy not bestow respite from your fury betwixt spring and fall?


What bringeth thine contemporary pre-fall choler?

Is there no recess from daily toil?

Iberian peninsula beckons for your assuagement

Iberian peninsula can temper thine temper

Iberian peninsula has ‘all inclusive’ offers in selected hostelries

Caution required under midday solar flares, forget thee not thy factor 30.


I share not the Isley Brothers sentiments about thee summer breeze

Agreeing not that you make me feel fine

Or indeed blow through the jasmine in my mind

Vacation require to rid your grey pallor

Rest thine weary limbs from relentless exertion

But if you go remember to turn off the immersion.



Railway Town Termagant

“Are you keeping it?” inquired odious product of railway town

‘Overwhelmed’ at news of impending grand motherhood

Bereft of redeeming features the harridan hints at the unthinkable

Despite daughter one score and three summers, husband secure of employ


Virulent imbecile, gloom-ridden of demeanour

Sixty years wed to fellow imbecile

Although, opposites attract more than thy sham betrothal

Selfish meets soul bereft of endearing features, a doomed fusion


Fishwife, evolved without humanity or thought

Hobby dressing thy twins identically even in adulthood

Taints all suitors of thine dolls comparing to halfwit consort

Quite unbelievably you bear the mantle of brains of the outfit!


Virago without virtue

Job judgemental suits you not

Ne’er comforted thy incurable stricken doll

Ensuring positivity doesn’t darken thine door your ultimate priority.


When you meet your maker product of railway town

How will you reconcile thine rancid life?

I suspect he won’t countenance your tails from the tabloids

Your misguided self-righteousness augmented more by thy dolls


I conclude mine prose now seamstress

You deluded termagant proffering your doll married beneath her

You’re akin to faeces on my polished shoe sole

I can’t wait for a time when you’re hosed off for good!


Jardin Sanctuary

Kaleidoscopic sanctuary, redolent of perfume

Beautifying Castle of Englishman, with Caledonian moniker

Nurtured over a score summers with scheme and graft

Perennial pride of Englishman and stricken betrothed

Source of fleeting liberty from existential foreboding

Nature’s sword against unyielding angst


Jardin avec cornucopia of colour

Irises a sight for sore irises

Lilly the pink, not of Scaffold offering

Nectar rich foxglove stands stoic against mollusc’s relentless assault

Lavender bouquet fit for veiled half of matrimony’s bouquet

Horticultural majesty amongst suburbia of bustling metropolis.


Diminutive garden in God’s own county

No water-feature like vast parkland of which to boast

Fret not David as thy allure cannot be usurped by Goliath

Your volition forbids aesthetic acquiescence to foes of scale

Hold thy petal rich stems vain-gloriously high

No peacock display can transcend thy multi-coloured splendour.


Solar rays are no longer your bed fellow my kaleidoscopic sanctuary

Although capriciously seeking short term suitors in other climes

Fear not as their heart is yours, Englishman’s garden

A rendezvous may be only a handful of hours away

When the thirst quenching water bequeathed by the Englishman

Along with the warmth of their touch will re-invigorate once more.



Patron Saint of Spite

Indiscriminate cacodemon, lesions of evil

Patron saint of spite, malodorous mutation

Seven years of your malevolence weighs heavy, though I vow won’t break me

In spite of blighting an eighth of mine two score and fourteen summers.


Odious demigod, taunting from behind barrier incurable

You may win the war, but not every battle initiated

Mine betrothed lion-hearted in spirit won’t acquiesce without scrap

Resistance ne’er futile with rancid foe as thee.


Posterior parked on broods existential chaise longue

Goading from position terminal and skeletal infiltration

Indestructible like the scarlet captain

But thy agenda of carnage, polar opposite of agent red.


Mutant cell, devoid of redeeming features

Will thy ever tire of the misery you bestow?

What manifests such vindictiveness?

Alma mater bullying, or role model rancid I’d conject.


Spiteful canker, no positive value to existence

Bar perhaps fellows in tall black hats and stockholder pharmaceutical

Your seven winter presence may have draining emotionally

Consequential resilience , though, usurps thy festering agenda.


Woodhouse Man

Woodhouse man
Brick house foundations bestowed upon brood
Deterring villainous wolf attentions
Encouraging predator to seek less secure footings.

Woodhouse man
Proud gentleman of white rose burgh
Undemonstrative, periphery your comfort zone
Unperturbed at allowing the less worthy centre stage.

Woodhouse man
In a shithouse world
Your gifts greater than the guinea or sovereign
Humanity, security, caring and selflessness thine riches bestowed.

Woodhouse man
No more undervalue thine contribution
Or decry your altruistic penchant
Instead, listen to quart score benefactors of thy self-sacrifice.

Woodhouse man
Coal house always replenished to warm thy clan
Sustenance and shelter remits unconditional
Those shouting louder, rant with less erudition.

Woodhouse man
Providing legacy of pure selflessness
In portal of misguided self-entitlement
Provision for brood thy unquestioning boon.

Woodhouse man
Thine discomfort in ailment
Felt emotionally analogous by distressed brood
Convalesce swiftly loving Woodhouse man.


The Only Outlet

Only outlet to bid au revoir?

Malcontent’s frustration the gift that keeps giving

What respite for the tortured yeti?

Negative imbecilic cankers of one score and ten summers

Conspire with carcinogenic canker of seven winters

Intentional objective of diminishing spirit, melancholy to nurture.


Chewy’s enduring misfortune manifest his dwindling faith

Notions of future illumination of fortunes despairingly plummet

Half full crystal glass morphs to semi empty beaker

Damocles’ pristine dual sabres maintain menace above brood’s pates

Ambiguity reins at spousal & pater’s wellbeing, likewise future employ

Imperceptible support, enforced celibacy their burdensome accomplices.


Solitary outlet have one or three more for the road

Yeti prefers semi empty beaker to barren chalice

Allowing sole avenue to divert from existential misery

Anger & bitterness, bed fellows yeti doesn’t wish to embrace

Realising the folly of epiphanies of negativism

His only wish continuance of that solitary outlet.


O’night Dream

O’night dream, connotation concealed

Taunting soul wi’ secret elucidation

Norn man regressed to childhood forefathers domain

Loft hiding clandestine past

Water tank, Pandora’s Box Norn man reticent to unlatch


O’night dream, connotation concealed

Recurring visit to furrowed playing fields of youth

Like a spectre, Norn man adorns all white

Only ghosting though is beyond opposition.

Utopian time in No 8 sock tags


O’night dream, connotation concealed

Norn man yet again procures airborne powers

Despite emu flight capability returned at slumbers end

Interpretation of visions baffles hopeless dreamer

Explication lacks clarity of visual definition.


O’night dream, connotation concealed

Why pitch Norn man in 26 mile torture

Wakes from slumber exhausted, donning foil blanket

Distressed at missing personal best time by 1.2 seconds

Assign his Margot Robbie epiphanies as recurring nap visions.


O’night dream, connotation concealed

Lately, Norn man’s waking angst mirrored in slumber

Grant respite in unconsciousness to tortured soul

His want a domain of rest while sleeping

A time of equanimity too much to ask?


Job Judgemental

Disparaging judge in ivory tower

Deflecting deficiencies with efficacious venom

Concern thyself with flaws of reflected image

Assess not the non-reflected

Their footsteps thou hasn’t ambulated.


Paragon of virtue, self-appointed of role

Cast first stone if without sin

On realisation of thy flaws, humility exhibit

Return stone groundward, polish glass house in lieu

Judge instead a journey in the non-reflected’s footprints.


Backstabbing miscreant, villain of misinformation

Negativity your default stance, be positive of that

Ricocheting attention resolves not foibles

No doubt a blemish humanity bereft

Ministration usurps assassination of character every-time.


Author of poem, hypocrisy spouting

Guilty of duplicity, accepting job judgemental

Sonnet of self-righteousness, misguided sanctity

Practise thy preaching, anger unresolved by vitriolic prose

Incidentally, there’s a splendid 3 for 2 yoghurt offer on at Tesco.


Delay the Flight

Existential departure lounge

Sorry, but passport bereft traveller can’t venture

He seeks return to bosom of brood

Akin to kin, interim delay in one way flight sought

He’ll return eventually, aware avoidance no option.


Where art aviation controllers strike?

Where art handlers o’ baggage mischief?

Where art failure technical?

Where art meteorological interference?

Conspicuous by absence, undesired smooth path bequeathed.


Traveller aware no brood escapes pain of departure

His kin expectations unreasonable not

One more for the road, as proffered by Francis Albert

Family of Caledonian name seeking boarding higher than Gate 81

Clan Destine in the dark


Roy Castle advocated value of dedication

Keith Richard dabbled with medication

Clan Destine seek traveller’s pain cessation

Allow once again eves of merlot bouquet and Bobby Darrin lament

A gratitude deserved by the clan’s Clark Kent.


Look after our Girl, Canada

Domain of Maple Leaf, Mountie, Moose

Thou hath lured our girl from her Anglo hoose

Land claimed by Cabot for an English king

Take his descendants subject under thine wing

Timbits, Molson Dry, Nova Scotian donair

Yorkshire lass has sacrificed puddings to consume thine fine fare

Metropolis’ of Calgary, Toronto, Vancouver

She’ll ne’r say vacuum, to her it’s to hoover

Birthplace of Buble, Dion, Gosling

For thine sake, on karaoke night don’t let her sing

The dominion provider of Spock’s gaffer

Please forgive this prose that couldn’t be naffer

She adores outdoor activities, is enamoured consuming sliders

Be aware though, the lady freaks over potato chips and spiders

British Columbia, Ontario, Alberta

She answers to the name Rach not Gerta (……. look, you try get a rhyme for Alberta!)


Nowhere Man On The Hill

Mushy mind, emotions spent

Enduring anger persists at karma’s folly

Dysfunction reigns, parasol protects not

Pretentious prose mine novel distraction

Wordsworth without the words

Shelley without the shell.


Unrelenting detritus, any plans to move on?

Like fab quartet mused, fool on the hill’s wants are excessive not

Nowt high maintenance sought by nowhere man

Peace of mind his solitary goal on mystery tour

All the lonely people, where do they all belong?

His mother should know, but isn’t sure.


Rudderless fool, hill in situ

Sees the sun going down; while the eyes in head

Witness revolutions of globe

Nowhere man refuses to recant creative musings

Lifetime of acquiescence a strategy long gone

Difference now embraced, negative spouting disregarded with distain.


Animals Aren’t We

It’s all a game mused marginalised yeti

Animals aren’t we

Food, water, procreation and shelter

Necessities all, rest just padding

They short term fix of comfort, till dwindling rush abates

Moving onto next misguided existential purchase

Bizarrely, expecting a long-standing misery solution.


In globe where happiness sold with prefix ‘i’

There is not ‘i’ in contentment, unless misspelt

There is ‘i’ in misguided, foolish, addiction, possessions and delusional

What brings long-term fulfilment, queries proletariat?

What’s worth of keeping up with the Jones’?

Their discontentment akin to yours

Only further fiscally challenged by thy folly.


Should the Jones’ role models be?

Should not the genuinely happy be sought for thy redemption?

Contentment a chalice well concealed

Thought required uncovering the veiled cup

Edify the misguided on strategy spend

As conclusion of sonnet my priority now

While I procure magic beans for our haggard old cow.


Paean World

Exclamation mark overload of rookie penman

Grammar erratic, improvement thine goal

Critique from academic justified on curve tutorial

Veiled feedback pivotal for hirsute dreamer

Gratitude to academic, her evaluation requisite

Sets deluded man of hair, on terra firma anew

Still seeking amnesty from grammar police.


Words of academic, tuition, guidance

Adherence essential, dovetailing with mother language doyens.

Jack o’ all trades, yet mastering them requires yeti’s yakka

Literary employ still remains pipe dream

Piper long paid; now where art yeti’s recompense?

Hard yards done, reward conspicuous with absence

“One day!” his numerous personalities attempt to re-assure.


Are epiphanies worthy of guerdon?

Or are delusions unfurling from cranial corners?

How gauge thy work in portal prose?

Paean world a theme park, no sanctions of height or write

Quality measurements an unknown quantity

Quantity measures correctly usurped by quality

Literary yield immaterial, calibre decrees sonnet significance.



“I was in Bagdad when you were in your dad’s bag.”

Proffered forefather, mischievous of trait, maternal of line

Playfully admonishing grandson for misguided patronisation

“In Armley Jail, you get no ale”

A ditty to same boy, courtesy of paternal rooted gramps

Tongue in cheek indoctrination of folly of crime

Ancestors DNA disparate, humour homogenous.


WWII paters, with weapons of wit

Advice in 70s from men in their 70’s

Erudite advisors with larking demeanour

Unconditionally they enlighten the conditional

Lighting rooms with banter, Lighting tobacco with habit

Their ardours ITV Seven dovetailing Leeds United eleven

Both sought merriment in peers and piers.


Grandson covets forefathers of kindred spirit

Their tongue in cheek, his cheek in tongue

Melancholy manifests, impetus deprived confab of adulthood

Yeti desires meeting once again

It’s over thirty years since grandson met forefathers

Yet still they live through his banter inane

Legacy to the boy and generations forthwith.


Visions On Vine

Visages staring from branches o’ shrubbery

Perennial renderings in tree and bush exhibition

Unfailingly stern or melancholic in façade

None smile at yeti, dans le beau jardin

What intimation thy presence moot.


Why face mournful evergreen verdure?

Fauna existence akin to sapiens morose?

Plant Prozac may uplift from mental canker

Lavender lithium may sooth thy angst

Neurotransmitters desire sustenance phostrogen.


Institute warning? Aegis witness?

Thy gargoyle display promises not blithe intent

Notre Dame’s fauna version offers no sanctuary

Bells ring not for thee with thy woebegone countenance

Mark well, if wind changeth, thou may remain that way.


Loco Motives

Childhood domain bound, tracks below feet

Domicile o’ inculcation, though birthplace possesses heart

Half century crisis of identity, through yeti unable to embrace

Self-induced purgatory, mind tormented for his folly

If purgatory a halfway house, then has he departed?

His final journey, destination redemption.


Locomotive, what are loco man’s motives

Tracks are not of tears, like The Miracles

Cathartic sojourn, bridge of Tyne rebuilding

Redemption sought extinguishing burning pont

Time and yeti can only tell if inner tranquillity attained

Continued peripheral situ shall failure prevail.


Delusions of Grandma

In Hamlet not village without church

Will wrote of villains who smile and smile

Termagant’s daughter does odious role model proud

Thirty years torture of yeti despite consideration worthy

Harridan proud of misguided advice

Quartet of vain glorious delusional shout “Fore”


Termagant’s union of faeces, fuels anti-man spite

Tarring all geezers wi’ idiotic panoramic brush

Brush better used for removal of prevailing excrement

Retarded pairs oxygen theft not registered on sojourn imbecile

Smiles not suppressed for yeti’s celibacy enforced

Appreciation not sought expedient


Martinet’s offspring concentrating on sin not asinine

No-one matters but highly-strung quartet

Undeserved fatuousness matters not to ET doppelganger

Uneducated insensate blark talks at, not with

Seeks mentoring of grandchildren, more capable

Legacy worthless negativity, deluded importance.



Fallen from crest, carer careers

Heads for terra firma recalcitrantly

Clutched from catastrophe thy fate?

Or destiny distressing, firma terra destination?

Tune in next week

Same bat time, same bat channel

Yeti appears courtesy o’ Harry’s Chip Restaurant


Plummeting pugnaciously, redemption implausible

Saviour sought from plunge ruination

Outlets clandestine, strain draining of soul

Doth karma not dictate lustrous hereafter?

Recompense for recent fortunes rancid

Yeti then recalls karma non-existent

Crystal chalice semi vacant he opines at epiphany.


Capricious yeti’s plunges are frequent

Though blessedly thus far ne’er reached floor

Redeemer a chalice with halfway replenishment

Fill-up his fillip, required in haste

Where out thou flagon, hirsute man’s emancipator

Thine procrastination troubles soul, gravity leading on points

What do you mean “Dial 1 – for redemption, 2 – for counselling, 3 – for more options”?


Rite of Passage

Ninth month 1970

Boy of seven summers, witness of owl badge eleven inaugural

Peacocks by name but not by feather, plumage white of spectre

Shirts a blank canvas at kick-off, soon rendered by sweat and blood

Child’s blank canvas rendered by fledgling football memories

Pater’s eternal gift for offspring; a point from where he can’t regress

Amongst tribe, son’s first sample of Kop stale Tetley’s & urine eau de cologne

Today’s foes the Saints come marching out, being in their number not option

Boy’s heart belongs to achromatically feathered peacocks.


Sat on barrier, lad’s blue eyes witness tepid game opening by owl badge eleven

Saints early Kop end penalty, crowd’s catalyst to broaden lad’s vocabulary

Giant Welsh striker Davies confronted by compatriot Sprake

A keeper blonde of lock, error prone of disposition

Davies the Penalty strikes ball hard to Sprake the Saves left

Viking like stopper prevails, pouncing on left corner bound sphere

Boy surprised to hear Kop brisk words of celebration mirror those of anger

Men in black with white napkin collar still targeted for abuse regardless

Wee fella wisely refrains enquiring “Dad, what’s a bastard?”

Despite young age, aware caution required before mimicking tribe.


Later half uno, owl badge eleven now spot-kick recipients

Kop question not decision of man in black

His parent’s marital status at birth not felt worthy of mention on this occasion

Emerald Isle schemer, not farmer, Giles stands hands on hips awaiting

Crowd expectant, hoping his wellington boots won’t hinder strike

With Scratching Shed stood adjacent, penalty dispatched top left

1-0  owl badge eleven lead, Yer man from land of little people milks adulation

Adulation not cow from County Kerry, but plaudits of Elland Road tribe

Remainder of contest barren. Saints march home point bereft

For boy, commencement of over two score years of elation, tears, euphoria and fears.


Sanctuaire de Kaleidoscopique

Sanctuaire de kaleidoscpocique

Deciduous trees in backdrop, gossiping in mumble, volition breeze

Jardin yeti’s zone o’ comfort; pyracantha unforgiving spikes sole nemesis

Beauty horticultural is fete accompli

Sweat, doggedness drivers of colour cornucopia

Unforgiving rainstorm forecast, flora and flora pray no mirage.


Hirsute man’s perspiration, spouse’s garden design of aspiration

Sweat worth unequivocal outcome of charm

Hydrangeas exhibit vain glorious, lilies dwindle as petals spent; hibernation preaently

Lavender’s fragrant frond diminishing, anthophila’s work nature’s perennial legacy

Begonia’s low maintenance appreciated, No requirement for begonia’s to be gone with ya

Matured shrubs of scale, conceal immature weeds of scale.


Spectrum of colour, spectrum of delight

Nine months thy gestate akin to embryo’s tenancy

Yeti often awestruck at nature’s refinement,

Situ of comfort thine heartwarming bosom, toilsome not.

Situ of therapy toilsome neither, bosom thine counselling

Dusk arrives, a lighting inertia detracts not from pulchritude.



New Dawn at LS11?

In cantilever stand, perches boy; heir apparent

Adjacent perches hirsute father; hair apparent

Mild April eve in LS11, fledgling noughties

White hat’s with white plumage seek further tarry

One of quart legions left standing, now seeking scalp Valencian

Foe’s both achromatic of uniform; visitors acquiesce, clashing colour forbidden

Beyond expectation performance bring charges of Emerald Isle leader to final verge

Catalan, Spanish, Belgian, Italian, German colossuses already put to the sword

Battles prevailed by youthful conscripts in legion’s conquest European.


“We wore wordy winners!” ancestor of Leary opines every post battle

Top man with silver hair basks in reflective glory of initial success,

Flip side implosion not of his doing. Guilt laid at door of legion’s legions.

Thirst for overly hasty march on together a driver for board’s irresponsible acquisitions?

Whatever; was catalyst to diminishing of seeing win; more downs than ups

Forwards times seven excessive, solitary chle ar ais misguided

Irish lottery, jackpot squandered; legion’s legions decry acts ever Fowler

Divisive guilt game spanning o’er decade, no benefactors apparent

Solitary perennial victims zealots amour unconditional.


April night, pre-Valencian spat, the future appeared achromatic

Heir apparent and hair apparent oft mull over this time of mortgaged plenty

Though witnessing Madrid in LS11 was real; along with dispatching Barcelona

Fifteen months on, Emerald Isle gaffer deposed; legion unable to secure bank loana

Not long into noughties, inevitable acrimonious divorce from elite division

LS11 legion keep the cd’s and goldfish, but controversially lose the kids

Disingenuous dawns aplenty, ignominy of third tier stint divorce’s legacy

Is Latin lothario new suitor to rekindle elite division affair?

Puoi scommetterci il culo che lui è!



Utopia In Sock Tags

Matchstick arms enclosed in long sleeves achromatic

Boy of ten summers stretches cotton kit for palm stealth

Mimicking hero’s posture, in flight and in goal celebration

Visage smile matches contemporary shirt motif

Socks accessorized with tag blue, number eight white

Imitation accuracy usurps discomfort of adorning accessory.


His hero a man of Willenhall, Sniffer by pseudonym

Second born, though most successful of footballing sibling quartet

Moniker bequeathed at poacher’s goal sniffing prowess

Oft source of football fulfilment on boy’s canvas existential

One of eleven white-shirted gladiators; frequent bearers of audience delight

“Clarke, One-nil!” commentators soundbite; still oft recollected o’er 40 years hence .


Gladiators adorning all-white dispersed mid-decade 1970’s

Audience smile’s diminishing along with motif smiley

Boy’s puberty coincided, compounding adolescent angst

Child’s motif amour remains, though something died with exiting gladiators

Now middle aged, man will always procure comfort at childhood witness gladiatorial

At least until the world stops going around.


Glad To Have You Back

So glad to have you back where you belong

Satchmo’s salutations bestowed on returning Ms Levi

In Wakey suburbia, brood replicates Louis’ greeting, though pater recipient

Dolly replaced lyrically by Mally, apologies to Herman

A score and eleven sunsets incarcerated in bosom of healthcare institution

Octogenarian gaunt on return, though blessedly without canker of departure.


Unlike Ms Levi, no room swaying or band playing for old chap

No song from way back when

Judge, though, not on undemonstrative family show

Unmitigated delight pulses through broods veins

A month his struggle, 31 days clan purgatory

Recuperation priority, Yorkshireman’s return to institute not option.


As Louis Armstrong’s hailing of Dolly recrudesces dans mon tete

TV projects mashie niblick men; a few feet away Mally resides ‘his chair’ in situ

Immeasurable Clan glee, restoration of table head driver for joy

On TV, differing driver slices ball leading to perpetrator’s ‘Fore’ cry

Old man inexplicably takes evasive action, in spite of shout televisual

Ridicule desists, though, on errant golf ball resting on hearth rug.


Biting The Hand That Nourishes

Dodging the raindrops, umbrella arbitrary

Amongst plethora o’ undeserving thorns, a rose though not fragrant

Even though ‘team’ in maintenance, selflessness forthcoming not

No ‘i’ in lager but matters not to the misguided ego.


Disloyal parasite, disingenuous disposition

Biting the hand that feeds, deflecting thy inadequacies

Humanity devoid on thine vain-glorious parade float

Round the block anew, till self-indulgence fulfilled.


Who keeps score on opportunist’s wants?

Karma reticent of involvement; chameleon off-colour

O’Dowd’s boy’s dreamt of red, gold and green

Man without conviction has self-obsessed dreams.


When does self-absorption desist in mind mercenary?

Behaviour self-centred; imposter soft-centred ne’er arrives

With thy unmindful o’ foibles, unaware o’ deficiencies

Is remedying fissure a project too far?



Airing of Sale De Lavage

Torture, but conclusion unwanted

Score summers celibacy, enforced as with gaol dweller

Punishment though for crimeless act

Spiteful matriarch pride, her indoctrination prevails

“Opine thy suitor is toxic, conduct regardless”

Legacy of odious termagant, equally imbecilic spouse.


Yeti acquiesce not now, fury at long-term misguided idiocy

Score summers celibacy, reluctantly suffered for offspring’s good

Alternative, rancid town upbringing, heinous negative influence not option

Yeti blessed that offspring benefit, his sacrifice of no affection bears fruit

Odious matriarch and ‘special’ betrothed without grandchildren bond

In realisation of idiocy choice yeti demonisation, daughter’s kids bond not option.


Yeti despairs at union with family fuckwit

Joyless brood, bereft of intelligence, volition negativity

Paragraph four of this sonnet is bequeathed to your last score year memories

Also incorporate visits since terminally ill daughter’s diagnosis six winters past

Regardless, the scorer won’t be troubled

Plenty time to enjoy next world heat, no distraction from trip down memory lane.



Inconsistency by Adage

“I’m a lover not a fighter.” Jacko instructs Macca, argument over girl

“I’m a fighter not a lover.” claims erectility dysfunctional pugilist

“I’m a lothario not a blothario.” says misguided maker up of adages

“I’m a blothario not a lothario.” responds peer equally adept at adage incorrect.


“One swallow doesn’t make a summer.” proffers camouflaged ornithologist

“A summer doesn’t make one swallow.” retorts orally unfulfilled man.

“Kill two birds with one stone” maxim of proficient organiser

“Kill one Stone with two birds.” foolhardy plan of threesome crime agin Richards.


“It’s better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all.” advice to heartbroken buddy

“It’s better to have never loved, than loved and lost that idiot!” Aunt Maude opines

“Err on the side of caution when the crow’s fly south.” controversial advice from twitcher

“When crow’s fly south, fuck caution.” equally controversial advise from Uncle Frank.



Flotsam & Jetsam
Flotsam and jetsam,

Debris influx, terra firma destination final

Curlicue waves thine volition

Calm post-storm wreckage; redemption from waves unruly

Remnants in sanctuary, steadfast in surviving brow-beating.


Flotsam and jetsam,

In esse despite torrid odyssey

Plaudits deserved, unforgiving swell surfed

Metaphor for weathering life’s fervid waves

Perseverance essential; or no aftermath to sample.


Flotsam and jetsam,

What will norn man’s debris include at conclusion?

Venture horribilis to render his destination in situ sedimentary?

Or re-invigorated endurance aftermath consequential reward?

Is it too much to expect that norn man appropriates existential augmentation?



What Identity Crisis?

Over two hundred year roots in county of reverence

Place of birth and 1960’s appearance by grace of god

Baby boom nipper, Hyde Terrace emergence

Taken northward while still fledgling.


Birds not on drift southward, as in migration

Baby boomer appreciative of area resettled

Despite heart always being beckoned by genesis

Tormented, though abandonment of forefathers situ not option.


Refusal to acquiesce on identity isn’t without repercussions

Mind scrambled by unrelenting tribalism, foolhardy or not

Been back in roots domain over score years

Repercussions not banished, though baby boomer tormented no more.


Arbitrary Rhyming Poem

Achromatic canvas, sheet of white

I bequeath you my prose; I hope it’s not sh!te

Like driven snow, virginal coupon

Apologies for staining thee by spilling my soup on    (Look you try get a rhyme with coupon!)

Chaste paper, bereft of type

My spicy lunch is giving me gripe

Cream parchment, untenanted voucher

Prepare for mountaineering tale by W.A.Poucher   (Chuffing hell I’m not making this easy!)

Note paper magnolia, arbitrary of rhyme

Please forgive me for my literary crime

Now rendered with words, no long feel bare

The tongue in cheek nonsense from a guy with back hair

I look out my window at scarlet begonias

Aaaarrrgggh bollocks…… I’ve just stubbed my toe on a chair leg!


Part of the Reality Show

Evincing patience is virtuous, so proverb claims

An idiom once steadfastly embraced by the proletariat

Instant gratification, though, now king in kingdom of the self-entitled

In vogue devices deemed a human right by the misguided

Even politics gives impression this is all a reality TV show

When phone lines open, vote using my on-screen number.


Do I deserve your ballot support? Probably not

It matters not though; a quarter hour later the winner disappears

Unless lesson taken, resurfacing 5 years hence, 25 lbs heavier

To yet again becoming a side-show for the prurient masses

Throw in a sob story, your participation is guaranteed for another week

Throw in the towel, Warhol’s 15 minute fame baton passes to Stoke bloke.


If one can’t prevail, another adage suggests to join ‘em

But I’ve had a word with Em and I’m not welcome on ‘The Voice’

Restraining orders scupper plans to croon for Midlands beauty

Black Eyed Peas geezer and Leeds fan Ricky dodge a baritone bullet

Maybe Ant & Dec can facilitate my quarter of an hour in the sun

It’s a thought, but I’ll not splash on the factor 20 just yet.
Service Levels Over Spirit Levels
Collateral damage, or casualty plot clandestine?

Plot to cull with plot to kill?

Austerity frontage; cleansing of unwashed behind shield?

Poet of no political leaning, unsure of ruling class motives

Will they ever tire of gorging on Wonka’s lifetime supply of goodies?


Mr and Mrs Lateral-Damages son Colin unfortunate consequence

His profile high, subsequently results in proletariat demeanour low

Mrs Call’s son Fu, procrastinates; spirit broken in box ticking role

Only comfort his post work pint; buy one hangover get another free

Mr Soul’s son Caring, thought less of than odious brother Richard.


Scaremongering merges with spite; this sun needs no factor 30

PC political correctness misguidedly given precedence over PC police constable

Administrator’s service levels diminish medics spirit levels

Those levels have no chance of balance; not when there’s a box to tick

Only parity the ineptness of dwellers on whole of political spectrum.



Conversations Around The Coven

Conversations around the coven

Non-existent words, non-existent humanity

Locutions from locations without erudition

You can fool some of the people all of the time

Like hound dog mistreated, yeti will have his day.


Uh-hu, mmmh, ah-ha, parrot replication thy sole chatter

Does Polly want a cracker, thesaurus or dictionary

Offerings worthless, icy actions your maxim

Dual stirring of coven pot and excrement legacy to thine dolls

Positivity, warmth ne’er guests at thy rimy door.


Railway town termagant, was it all worth it?

Tainting other’s lives, revenging misdemeanours of others

Misguided beliefs, spewed by you unsympathetic harridan

Compassion shrouded, even for stricken doll

Blessedly, progenies of yeti obviated thy vitriolic indoctrination.



In Search O’ Four Holy Grails
Den of iniquity, with a fortuitous cast

Pimped, although from sources without hats

A score of ostentatious geezer’s, contesting four holy grails

Mother enquires is any player worth £100 million

“Neymar” opines her Yorkshire son.


Den of iniquity, questionable of behaviour

Tis’ no riddle why thy is wall to wall pitched

Be happy to know serial goal scorer has a cereal breakfast

Viewers sleep content at le petit dejeuner revelation

Their hard earned guinea allowing witness of corn flakes in HD.


Den of iniquity, Den of Bergkamp

Technology what’s in store for prurient viewer

Sock cam, glove cam, corn flake cam or Chris Kam cam?

Regardless, witnessing thy life is enhanced

Apart from Bert in Scunthorpe who’s bereft of goggle box


Bert in Scunthorpe how will thy cope

No TV to entertain, no forthcoming disclosure of hero’s cereal

Will you listen to Sam without cam and his face of matter?

Or is thy destination

Either way, can I borrow your S-Club 7 greatest hits CD?


Sonnet Spontaneous

Sonnet spontaneous
Unplanned prose defiling chaste page
Epiphany evasive; topic timid
Dining chair in situ; inspiration yeti’s holy grail
Sustenance on hold in domain digestion.

Newsday of sloth speed, subject secreted safely
Will anecdotes of procrastination suffice?
Does drugstore sojourn present potential?
Yeti ventures not, along with earlier blog disclosure
Should he leave Pepys, Mole and Jones’ to journals aujourd’hui?

A licence artistic yeti’s potential recourse
Fictionalise day, wax lyric apocryphal
Concoct to dramatise jejune epoch
Diversion only outlet through torturous times
His last bastion of hope, the distraction of soliloquy.


Pomme Musique Memories

Pomme Musique joue For The Benefit of Mr Kite

Floats towards shell-like on digital sound not stiff breeze

Mr Kite’s journey no longer analogue, though original defined

Clarity multiplied from quartet’s original; though only diamond polish

Mr Kite has benefitted in resonation, pleasure though correlative.


La Marseillaise intro to agony aunt proffering

Well meaning advocacy, though yeti ponders what amour means

Affection, loyalty, confidante, lover, best friend?

Meal-ticket, manipulation, exploitation, manoeuvring?

The former a rare visitor at his door.


Yeti relates more to Fool On The Hill

Nobody wants to know him, alone on that hill

Over-analytical misinterpretation?

Notions basis of fact?

Head not world spins round.


Proud Legacy To Dolls

Mind countenances revenging entirety

Despite misdemeanours being actions of one

Bitterness, spite cascades from harridan’s dermis

Toxic tort, indoctrinating vitriol your proud legacy to dolls

Opining worthless, frontier gibberish of delivery.


Where art thou warmth and humanity railway town termagant?

Can it be exhumed, or has ne’er heretofore?

Thy slap heed betrothed proffers thee a coo

Rare accurate prophecy by ‘real man’ with mashie niblick

Sentiments mooted post social climbing in apron.


Job judgmental crone in town of cranes

Few visitors now blacken thy door

Be clear, every time you belittle folks a fox dies

Every time you watch Stuart Little a mouse talks

Incidentally, thy has a face akin to clumsy beekeeper.


Malice Revisited

Take on book A Town Like Alice

Shute’s tome given Modfather spin 82

Stop apologising, proffers bard

Seek not redemption, his rapid beat advocacy

Except things propagated thyself.


No guarantee of existential longevity

Though cruelty a certain acquaintance

From within thyself a change requires manifestation

Now factory in situ, empty milk carts of Weller’s 82

Though, dairy yard majority buried with Co-op shire horses.


As with bard’s observations 82, proletariat dilemma remains

New Schuh’s for young Al, or cocktail bar/kebab with Sal

Conundrum of uncertainty exists contemporary

Train continues clock-wise, breeze still masks giggling of junior

Thankfully over 35 summers, Modfather achieved goal of joy bestowed.


A Life in Caricature

A life in caricature; yeti’s shield

Court jester his sabre; difference he abhorred

Two score summers and ten, seeking tribe

Foolishly acquiescing, belonging incumbent.


Caricature now reconciled at possessing mind random

Vive la difference, mantra of his redemption

Worries not now of prejudiced fellows

Spiteful connivers; thimblerigging to deceive.


Incongruity acceptance is caricature’s saviour

Offending by discordance no longer a concern

Ne’er agin approval sought from peers unworthy

Thoughts of the vindictive, cogitated not.


Where do you progress hence, caricature?

Worthy of more than existential past

What seeks thee for future fulfilment?

When clouds depart, whisper thy plan.


Sojourn in the Fog

Muddled, befuddled, disorientated, addled

Lexicologically akin, each suffixed with ‘led’

Apart from disorientated; maverick that conforms not

Bewildered states, though not star spangled.


Fog remains, contrary to forecast

Keeley promised sunshine; absence though conspicuous

One day yeti will need factor 20

Terrible storm though a pre-requisite.


Hirsute man accepts strain universal

Dwellers by billion usurp his existential heinousness

Though fool on the hill he isn’t fool, or on hill

Physical and moral high ground circumvented.


Fog best case scenario for caricature

Storm an imposter dreaded by Chewy

Chewy’s wrath dreaded by imposter

Hair today gone tomorrow.


And When They Were Up….

In stadium white rose, rendezvous unexpected

Pater and his boy, a chance encounter

Offspring’s trademark smile greets old man

Joint remit witnessing of Roses War skirmish

Willow belabouring leather sphere contest

Superior tally victor; Lewis/Duckworth welcome not

Will the House of York or Lancaster prevail?

A battle to win, though not victory of war.


Progenitors of Plantagenet House bear witness

Uncovered stands residence, boisterous in ale

Headingley field not Bosworth their canvas

Recurring chant of counties moniker, zealots taunt

Yorkist’s batting momentum, precipitation derailed

Nimbus clouds bequeathment awaken Lewis & Duckworth

Mercifully short-lived break, returning mathematicians to slumber

Hosts total 182; House of Lancaster stint commences.


Duke of York’s 10,000 men on terraces bay 11 soldiers home

Marching to top of hill and back down ale bound

Always up, Tudor’s forebears always down

Apart from when halfway up, pre-Buttler demise

Precipitation returns while fat lady clears throat

With dozen Yorkist deliveries vestigial, Lewis & Duckworth slumber on

Concluded by quartet dismissals swift, Duke of York’s tribe proclaim

Delight a small recompense for Tudor’s feudalism of centuries past.

1 Comment

Leave a Reply