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In Search O’ Four Holy Grails

Den of iniquity, with a fortuitous cast

Pimped, although from sources without hats

A score of ostentatious geezer’s, contesting four holy grails

Mother enquires is any player worth £100 million

“Neymar” opines her Yorkshire son.


Den of iniquity, questionable of behaviour

Tis’ no riddle why thy is wall to wall pitched

Be happy to know serial goal scorer has a cereal breakfast

Viewers sleep content at le petit dejeuner revelation

Their hard earned guinea allowing witness of corn flakes in HD.


Den of iniquity, Den of Bergkamp

Technology what’s in store for prurient viewer

Sock cam, glove cam, corn flake cam or Chris Kam cam?

Regardless, witnessing thy life is enhanced

Apart from Bert in Scunthorpe who’s bereft of goggle box


Bert in Scunthorpe how will thy cope

No TV to entertain, no forthcoming disclosure of hero’s cereal

Will you listen to Sam without cam and his face of matter?

Or is thy destination

Either way, can I borrow your S-Club 7 greatest hits CD?

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