Christmas Quiz

As it’s the festive season, I enclose a series of intentionally absurd Christmas quiz questions. These fictional ‘True or False’ catechisms are written purely for comedic value; consequently, they should not be viewed as factual fare... The ‘answers’ are shown below in bold:-

1. True or False – Last year my brother asked for Christmas gifts of CD’s by Spandau Ballet and a former X-Factor singer, along with a Mary Shelley book. Consequently, on 25th December I presented him with Gold, Frankenstein and Olly Murs.
2. True or False – When Chris Rea was driving home for Christmas he was 3 times over the drink/driving limit?
3. True or False – In real life, during slumber Bing Crosby very rarely dreamt of a white Christmas?
4. True or False – Due to 95% of the movie being miserable fare for George Bailey, he’d be right to claim festive favourite ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ was misleadingly titled?
5. True or False – Late ukulele player George Formby loved nothing more than building festive snowmen?
6. True or False – In the 1980’s the Queens speech was once penned for Her Majesty by blue comedian Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown?
7. True or False – Home Alone star MacCauley Culkin is often asked to speak on house security at Group 4 Security’s Christmas parties?
8. True or False – No one called Carol has ever written a traditional Christmas carol?
9. True or False – 1980’s singer/songwriter and part-time creosote manufacturer Terence Trent Darby’s biggest regret was not writing and recording a Christmas song.
10. True or False – Due to an over dependence on mulled wine, Rudolph the reindeer’s nose was actually more purple than red?
11. True or False – Turkeys became the UK’s go to Christmas Day meat after farmers concluded they were easier to slaughter than geese, who are incredible aggressive if you approach them with an axe?
12. True or False – Ethiopians do know it’s Christmas and think Midge Ure & Bob Geldof’s well-meaning song is a cacophonous crime against yuletide?

 

Answers

1. In the words of Spandau Ballet “This much is True” 
2. False – His chauffeur Bert was the one who was three sheets to the wind.
3. False – His night visions were ordinarily filled with thoughts of co-star Rosemary Clooney’s busters
4. True
5. True
6. False. Royston was asked to contribute towards her Golden Jubilee speech.
7. True.
8. True
9. False – His biggest regret was not letting his dog Chris sing backing vocals on his hit ‘If You Let Me Stay’.
10. True.
11. True.
12. True.