Endeavouring to reach the plateau of moving poetic prose my brother Ian produces in song lyrics, at the weekend I asked my younger sibling what his secret was. Misunderstanding to what I was alluding, Ian candidly responded his guilty secret was finding animated dog Scooby Doo adorable. Not wishing to dwell on this revelation, yours…
Tag: comedy
Time
I woke this morning thinking how lovely it’d be to turn back the clock to a time before COVID-19’s unwelcome appearance. A notion manifesting from recollections that overnight UK clocks’d moved forward from Greenwich Meantime (GMT) to British Summer Time (BST). Among the timepieces being moved sixty minutes hence, the town hall clocks residing in…
Saturday Scrawl
At 10am my first chore of the day, the construction of the remaining two Hygena kitchen table chairs, was completed earlier than anticipated, affording me extra time for Saturday’s scribble. The other pair assembled during a quieter period a fortnight ago. It’s fair to say, I’m spinning a few existential plates at the moment. In…
Falls & Rises
With the advent of a new week, the UK populace’s anticipatory notions of upcoming liberty from lockdown have been tempered with bulletins a number of European countries maybe in the grasp a third coronavirus wave. How that’ll affect the UK government’s blueprint for easing of lockdown protocols is anyone’s guess. However, recent history indicates, when…
You Know It Makes Census
As decreed by god and the Wakefield Curtain Twitchers Society, I’ve just completed the UK census, relaying my mum’s property occupancy details. Among the queries answered were residents academic qualifications, their employment history and whether we think TV’s Simon Cowell is a t**t….. For confidentiality reasons, I’m unable to disclose my answers to these inquiries;…
Art In The Most Unlikely Of Places
As I write, I’m somewhat distracted by the noise of holes being drilled in breeze blocks. This commotion courtesy of downstairs wet room construction being undertaken around ten feet away, between chez Strachan’s garage and entrance hall. I’ve never been party to the noise emitted when a rhinoceros undergoes circumcision without anaesthetic. However, I’d venture…
Regressing To A Happier Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day has been and gone. With the family matriarch edging towards her seventh week in a stroke ward, there wasn’t opportunity for my siblings or me to spend the day in the company of mater. Consequently, thanks to COVID edicts, our gratitude, love and reverence for the old lady had to be delivered via…
It’s No Coco Chanel
Yesterday afternoon, while perambulating the perimeter of East Ardsley reservoir with Coco the lab, I passed a young couple (late 20s/early 30s) when something occurred to me. During this ephemeral moment, upon receiving a waft of the ladies perfume, it struck me I’ve not worn aftershave for over a year. Twelve months of prolonged isolation…
Put The Telly On, Gazza
Walking Coco along the village’s Main Street yesterday morning, yours truly witnessed a parked car outside of the local school which, from the way it’d mounted the pavement, I assumed was pulled over by a parent who was up against time. As my lab/retriever sniffed inquisitively at an adjacent garden wall, seeing this vehicle, with…