My Baby’s One Today!

Yesterday morning I got a surprise when arriving at the breakfast table to be greeted with a smile and a cordial “Hello!” from my diminutive other half.

The surprise wasn’t the cordiality of Karen’s greeting, moreover the fact we had a kitchen table. We certainly didn’t have when I retired to bed the previous evening!

“Well then. What do you think?!” my spouse chirpily inquired, while pointing at the cereal laden table.

I tried to play it cool and responded “To be honest Karen I wanted marmite on toast.” ……. (other vegemite products are available, likewise bread recipes).

“No not that, I mean the new table!” my wee wife advised, whilst fire and brimstone suddenly appeared from the cupboard behind her. This resulted in me thinking to myself “I’m gonna have to get that bloody boiler fixed!”

“It’s ok, but how come you bought the table without telling me?” I inquired, while failing miserably to muster some enthusiasm.

“It’s your Easter present!” Karen replied, while looking less than impressed at my lukewarm response.

“I’d have preferred an Easter egg!” I retorted sarcastically to my other half.

“How ungrateful! You’re like a spoiled child! I’ve a good mind to kick you up the arse?!” she scolded me tersely.

“No! ….. Again I’d prefer an Easter egg!” I replied, pouring further scorn on her rubbish choices for my Easter present.

“Do you want me to take the table back, then?” the wee Durham lass queried in a conciliatory manner that my behaviour hadn’t warranted.

“No….  Sorry, I’m fine with the table. I’d just have liked to be part of the decision making process.” I mused.

“Do you want me to put you in some toast?!” my selfless spouse questioned.

“Your Easter present choices are getting worse! ……. I’ve told you an Easter egg will suffice!” I mischievously responded.

“Pillock!” came a putdown from the Mrs, before she wandered towards the toaster to load it with bread.

A chocolate table – The best of both worlds!

chocolate table


A little later in the morning the topic was back to food as I approached Karen preparing a piece of filleted cod. I’m not sure what she was preparing it for but by the look on its face it wasn’t good news!

With tongue very firmly in cheek (as it was obvious) I questioned “What have we got in for dinner tonight, Karen?!”

“Fish! You have to have fish on Good Friday. It’s bad luck to eat red meat today!” she replied without biting at my obviously sarcastic question.

There is something endearing, sad and ironic about the fact she still adheres to all of the ‘good/back luck’ superstitions, despite being incurably ill. Call me cynical, but I’m sure many people in that situation would have a different mindset under her circumstances.

I’m pretty convinced there are many previously superstitious individuals in Karen’s situation wouldn’t worry about good or bad luck folklore.

I’m sure they wouldn’t think twice about walking under a ladder, firing a silver bullet at a clove of garlic or shoeing a horse if I see a black cat!” …… Other superstitions are available! ……. And they aren’t made up or mixed like the one’s above!

However, Karen still maintains her superstitions as she doesn’t want to run the risk of additional bad fortune.

Anything that aids my brave spouse to deal with her awful situation is fine with me. I don’t have to agree with her beliefs, just support anything that can help her cope…… Unless, of course, it’s Manchester United that helps her cope, who I refuse point blank to support!

cod and chips


My blogging site is one year old today! It has become a big part in my life over this last twelve months. Particularly, as therapy to help with the more challenging circumstances my family currently live with.

In fact, I’d say I’ve grown so fond of it that it’s now like one of the kids. Thankfully, not one who asks for money, lifts and a Man Utd strip! (The blogging site’s a Leicester fan…. chuffing glory hunter!)

I’ve accumulated a few stats for my first year of blogging, which include:-

Blogs Written – 293
Site hits – 7,535
Site hits that weren’t me – 7 (joking!)
Highest hits in one day – 255
Bags of cola bottles eaten when writing – 212
Cups of coffee – 271
Number of times my dad’s said “Are you right in the head!” after reading them – 8 (he’s only read 2 as well!)

Thanks to everyone whose took the time to visit the site and read my blogs over the last year. I really appreciate it!

Write said fred

Leave a Reply