After abandoning a novel project whose storyline was not flowing as desired, I recently wrote about sitting at a writing crossroads. My decision to postpone the work taken despite spending hundreds of hours constructing the piece.
As revealed in the last narrative, a decision which has not left me overly downhearted. After all, I am sure there are significant sections of the abandoned effort which can be utilised further along the literary train track.
Bereft of a projet de calligraphie, GJ Strachan is currently toying with a few ideas for short stories/screenplays. Each fictional vignette residing at the absurd point on the whimsy spectrum.
My previous blog revealed a few of the ideas entering my mind as potential future plotlines. In today’s narrative, if you will indulge me, I’d like to share a few more of the offbeat notions which may develop into a longer-term literary enterprise.
The working title and brief synopsis of these yarns as follows: –
Deano – Hamstrung by an idiosyncratic aversion to scaffolding, hapless bricklayer and part time circus performer Deano is forced to ply his trade wearing a pair of stilts. To clarify, as laying bricks and mortar at ground level does not require elevation assistance, this only applies to any higher brickwork he undertakes.
The two-part comedy drama tells of the numerous heated confrontations between workplace safety executives and the brickie. The former’s noses put out of joint by what they deem Deano’s recklessness when constructing above ground floor level while balancing on wooden leg extensions.
Spoiler alert – After numerous suspensions and sackings over his refusal to utilise scaffolding, the problem is resolved by his site foreman. The pragmatic gaffer telling disgruntled health & safety executives “Hey, why don’t we just task Deano with laying the ground level brickwork and delegate the higher level to the other lads?!”
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Ted Botox – The eponymous protagonist in this tale is a cosmetic surgeon who peddles for trade with a radio ad tagline of“If beauty is only skin deep, you must have been born inside out!”
Targeting people from the poorer end of society, his cheap and not very cheerful surgery is hugely popular among the misguided. Individuals gaslighted into thinking they are not aesthetically pleasing enough to ‘fit in’.
A true professional, Ted offers clients the peace of mind with guarantees his work will remain in place until they smile for the first time or sneeze; whichever comes first. His office staff two chimpanzees called Nip and Tuck; both of whom have remarkably smooth foreheads and are bereft of frown lines.
This writing project a commentary on the less skilled end of the cosmetic surgery trade. Fictional stories of the folk who pray at the altar of unscrupulous people like Ted Botox; many of whom not needing the work they’re paying to undergo.
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Edgware Hill Market – A fictional market which sells fictional books, non-fictional tomes and journals which have a foot in both camps. A place dubbed as the biggest book market in the UK by many… Coming to think about it, though, as it is fictional it isn’t many. It is just me.
The huge London stall site boasting within its hundreds of thousands of literary wares a book relating to any topic known to man, woman or LGTBQ identification can be located. A claim ridiculed by Camden mischief maker Mickey ‘The Goggles’ Muney who, despite visiting every stall onsite, was unable to find a tome relating to the sport of horse table tennis, or where late entertainer Bruce Forsyth used to buy creosote.
Muney receiving the nickname Goggles due to the thickness of his spectacle lenses. His eye correction frames bearing such a powerful prescription close friends claim he can see into the future… Although, as proved by his inability to find books relating to the sport of horse table tennis, or where Brucie bought his creosote, they don’t provide current day foresight… That has just given me another idea; a book called ‘Forsyth’s Foresight’ in which Brucie provides answers to conundrums from the other side via a medium.
In each chapter, Edgware Hill Market will tell a different tale of a customer searching for books relating to incredibly niche topics. Included will be references to whether band leader James Last left his false teeth to charity, and a look into the conspiracy theory former US president Donald Trump hides his soul under a pile of classified documents.
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