Silent Night, Noisy Day

As you’re probably aware, December 2022 arrived early Thursday morning; And, if you were aware, why didn’t you tell me. I only found out today (Friday), meaning the inaugural opening of my advent calendar was delayed for over 24 hours. Actually, that’s not strictly true; I didn’t receive an advent calendar. Instead my Ossett beau…

Rain Didn’t Stop Play

As dusk fell, with heavy precipitation turning my slim fit jeans into a second skin, I entered the camper van to jokingly asking Sarah if she had an industrial size shoe horn. A utensil I’d identified as a useful accessory to ease me outta my sodden denims. My partner and I had just spent an…

Staying Alert

You’ll not know this but yours truly is a fan of movie scores. And if you did, as I’ve never really disclosed that snippet biographical info, I’d be interested to know how. Not to mention question what other gossip relating to me is currently in circulation… Oh, and assure everyone the horse story isn’t true….

Sherwood Shenanigans

With daylight diminishing over Nottinghamshire, at 15mph we entered a forest domain made famous by Robin Hood and his band of merry men. I’m unsure what they were merry about, however I’m pretty sure it wasn’t with anticipation of utilising zip wires, bicycles, ten-pin bowling, pool slides or a Bella Italia meal, akin to fellow…

Life In The Fast Lane

In middle-age I’m much more of a dissenter than during my younger adult years. Subsequently, these days I often cock a snook at the world; deeds pushing existential boundaries, which are undertaken with the aim of shaking the Establishment to its core… Exploits such as referring to carpet vacuuming as hoovering, despite my cleaner of choice…

A Celebration

Due to inadvertently leaving my laptop at partner Sarah’s home on Ossett’s outskirts, I’m journaling this literary piece on a cheap tablet procured in July for me and my amour’s Majorcan summer trip. A purchase made to mitigate against my Macbook receiving a sun factor 20 cream coating while penning poolside. Despite this device affording…

Washout

“The black pudding’s black today, mother!… Even the white bits are black!” An observation made by Eric Olthwaithe (played by Michael Palin) in the 1970’s TV comedy series Ripping Yarns; a collection of separate whimsical tales written by Palin and fellow Python Terry Jones. Footnote – For the uninitiated, when writing Python above I’m of…

Reckless Impulse Buying

Many years ago someone, maybe the UK Overcoat Federation’s Head of Marketing, told me “You can never own too many coats, Gary!” Actually, coming to think of it, as I’ve never spoken to the Head of Marketing for the UK Overcoat Federation, or indeed even know if the role or society exists, I can say…

‘Eading To Edinburgh

I’m penning this missive aboard carriage A on a Transpennine train to Newcastle. Out of the window to my right the flat sweeping green fields of North Yorkshire provide enchantingly scenic views. Looking through left sided windows affords similarly aesthetic landscape for this middle aged fella’s tired eyes. They say the early bird captures the…