Perched in a south Leeds café, it has been a productive morning writing wise; culminating in me completing a 1,000-word submission for a writing group while. The topic prompt of ‘colour’ stirring my creative juices, subsequently, spawning an endearing yarn about my partner’s colourful language.
I may share this pastiche of old potty mouth’s scattergun cussing at some juncture, but not until I have performed the piece at the Next Chapter groups Wednesday literary shindig.
Currently I am sitting in the aforementioned curser’s back garden. GJ Strachan indulging in a spot of dog sitting for Ms Sarah Brook of Gawthorpe manor. Her enchanting German Shepherd Zella the recipient of this canine day care.
The sun is out and so is the divine Ms B. My capricious beau out plying her trade as a traffic cone near junction 28 of the M62 motorway. It is a dangerous job; however, she posits opportunity to people-watch in the role makes that jeopardy worthwhile… Admittedly, though, they zoom past at 50mph, she only gets to monitor individuals fleetingly.
Consequently, apart from the chagrin of finishing her shift with clothing bearing an acrid redolence of diesel fumes, she garners a remarkable amount of job satisfaction from her new role.
As pointed out earlier, I have left the café where I wrote the my writing group submission. Me now residing in Sarah’s garden, perched on one of her rattan garden chairs; the sound of ‘Mad Mile’ traffic (between M1’s junction 40 and Ossett roundabout) my current audioscape.
Worn out from her recent walk, Zella lays settled in the corner around 10 metres from my perch. In addition to the vehicle noise backdrop, birds are chirping in an adjacent backyard. Their high-pitched refrain resembling Soft Cell’s 1980’s hit single ‘Tainted Love’… God only knows where they got the synthesizer from.
Ever guarding of her brood and territory, Zells has just barked at something in our locale. A response I assume to a neighbour or cat she deemed was encroaching too closely to our domicile… Either that or she’s performing backing lyrics for the nearby avian Marc Almond.
With spring temperatures making a welcome arrival, my spirits lift in conjunction with thermometer mercury levels. My body being infused with vitamin D hopefully raising me from the spiritual malaise imparted by recent starker weather.
Soaking up the sun, as with the previous few days, I ponder further how to progress from the literary crossroads I find myself after recently. This juncture in the creative process consequential of abandoning a novel writing project.
Although I am bereft of a single project to focus on, I have several ideas for new writing enterprise, some of which I shared in the blogs https://strachan.blog/2024/03/02/projects-ahoy/ and https://strachan.blog/2024/03/04/what-next/ .
Further machinations swirling around my head for potential short stories/screenplays are:-
Trent, Kent & Spent – A parody taking a playful jibe at unbelievable mainstream TV shows where clergymen and sleepy village coppers solve multiple crimes.
The amateur investigators in these plots being crime solving Estate Agency trio Trent, Kent & Spent. Scripts underpinned by more credible plotlines; for instance, the well-meaning trio of realtors investigating felonies like light fitting and curtain theft in breach of contract exchange protocols.
With a zero tolerance to crime, the trinity also expose and whistle blow on unscrupulous surveyors, mortgage loan sharks, sellers whose cupboard doors are covered in woodchip wallpaper: along with unveiling individuals violating tenancy agreements by keeping sheep in their flats.
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That’s Easy For You To Say – Documentary set at the Malmo clinic of half Swedish/half Geordie speech therapist Tork Properlike.
The highly respected physician renowned for his excellent success rate at remedying patient speech impediments. His jovial bedside manner and desire to put younger sufferers at ease seeing him frequently embarking on impromptu meatball juggling acts mid-consultation.
During the reality programme Tork reveals why many Scandinavian names contain two adjacent vowels for the price of one, and how during childhood he aspired to be the chef from The Muppet Show.
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