Goose Gingrich’s Gottle of Geer

During a quiet period yesterday, I pondered what’d constitute a good topic for a new writing project, along with what pen name I’d utilise should I wish to afford myself author anonymity.

After deliberation, yours truly decided it might be fun to employ the pen name Goose Gingrich for my newly spawned idea of a whimsical tale about an alcoholic ventriloquist – This yarn titled ‘Gottle of Geer’.

Some may opine my name change to be misguided. Deeming there’s too many G’s flying around the place with this eccentric notion. My idea introducing potential alliteration jeopard to any prospective buyer if/when requesting a copy of the tome from book store owners.

Announcing to a bookstore owner “I wish to have a gander (see what I did there) at Gary Strachan’s new book Gottle of Geer, my good man.” a far easier prospective reader interaction than requesting “Have you got Goose Gingrich’s Gottle of Geer, my good man?”

Unless, of course, the book store owner is a woman. In which case everything could go pear shaped when they become incredibly officious and unhelpful towards the customer who’d got her sex wrong when addressing her “my good man”. This disenchantment irrespective of how impressively the request’d been alliterated.

That being said, ignoring potential confusion about the number of chromosomes the store owner possesses, would asking for the book Gary Strachan’s Gottle of Geer, really be much less of a tongue twister than Goose Gingrich’s Gottle of Geer?

Without conducting a survey of Saturday afternoon shoppers in Leeds city centre , which I’m not incline to undertake, I’ll go with the answer of ‘Hmmm, probably not!

Footnote – I’d venture introducing the jeopardy of contracting coronavirus from undertaking an irrelevant survey in packed streets of one of the UK’s largest cities would be a particularly foolhardy move…… Oh, and incidentally, other days for research are available.

Anyhow, you might be wondering why I chose the pen name Goose Gingrich….. And if you don’t I’m gonna tell you regardless…..

Well, to cut a long story short (hopefully), I just think Goose is a far more memorable, whimsical and striking moniker than Gary, or indeed Monica.

Additionally, as the capricious moods possessed by a goose are pretty similar to mine, it kinda feels like fate has put all the ducks in a row (pardon the pun) for me to utilise this nome d’plume.

Footnote – As ducks aren’t geese, I’m not actually certain the above can be classed as a pun. I made that assumption on the basis they’re both pond dwelling birds…. If it turns out not to be a pun, scrub that reference from the record.

One final point about my prospective new pen name, I love my surname Strachan – However, I’ve concluded Gingrich is a more suitable title to suffix Goose. Consequently, with apologies to my Scottish clan (of who I’m immensely proud to belong), on this particular project I’ll be ditching our wonderful last name.

At this juncture, I’ve no inkling of how Gottle of Geer’s plot line will play out. Although, it’d be a fair guess to suggest the scenes will bear the same riffing drum beat as my daily blogs. That is, just making the bloody thing up as I go along.

Anyhow, watch this space.

Well, not literally watch this space. I’m sure you’ve a darned sight more to occupy your mind than staring at a blank sheet at the end of my blog.

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