Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

A Whimsical Daily Diary From Deep Within A Random Mind

Philosophically Speaking

Respected French philosopher Aidan Le Torche said of the weather “If it’s cold wear a coat….. If it’s warm don’t wear a coat….. If it’s mild wear a fleece, but not the grey one as it needs a wash.”

It wasn’t the most thought provoking or, indeed, inspiring piece of philosophy ever written. However, if adhered to in other aspects of life perhaps it’s importance takes on further relevance.

philosophy 1

By that, I’m alluding to Le Torche’s words of wisdom transcending from how to respond to inclement meteorological conditions, to dealing with other life challenges. Barriers thrust upon us during our existential odysseys.

A journey without Sat Nav (GPS) occasionally requiring erudite pieces of wisdom from enlightened individuals. Clever men and women to guide us on this unknown path of fortune, truth and finding a cable channel with something worth watching.

If I took Le Torche’s musings from a meteorology angle, I’d definitely need my coat on today. Overnight we’ve had our first snow flurry of the year in East Leeds….. Either that, or Liam Gallagher has had a sneezing fit in my back garden!…… Allegedly.

It’s a good job the weather isn’t mild as, in addition to my grey fleece being in the wash, my blue and burgundy ones also currently reside in the linen basket. Consequently I’m fleeceless.

That brings me to another of Le Torche’s pearls of wisdom, “A man who is fleeceless is f***ed in mild weather.” By that, I like to think he means it is always prudent to prepare for all eventualities in life.

I’m only assuming that, though, as he may mean it literally. Advocating that you can never have too many clean fleeces at spring time. Alternatively, he may just have been Head of the Lille Fleece Marketing Board; his motives to try give the industry’s flagging sales a boost with a blatant marketing pitch.

Either way, I’d have been stumped aujourd’hui if today’s outdoor temperatures were temperate.

Philosophy is a strange thing to come to terms with at times. I mean whose words of wisdom do you trust?! As with non-philosophical observations, they can’t all be right! Some people’s opinions have a great deal more validity than individuals who attempt to shape your existence for the worse, with spiteful agendas and negativity.

French philosopher Aidan Le Torche and his supposed words of wisdom are fictional, as you’ll have probably guessed. Figments of my creative mind, mischievously opining it’s not that difficult to pen a philosophical musing.

Aidan Le Torche (below) – Presumably, taken on a cold day as he’s wearing his coat!

Le Torche

I invented the fictional philosopher; deeming if my first sentence of the narrative “I (Gary Strachan) always say of the weather ‘If it’s cold wear a coat….. If it’s warm don’t wear a coat….. If it’s mild wear a fleece, but not the grey one as it needs a wash.’ no one would pay attention to it. That is simply because I was selling it as my philosophy and people know I’m not a philosopher….. Although, in my defence, I do know quite a bit about fleeces!

However, if I convey those as sentences from an emanate French philosopher, the same ideology takes on a whole new life as possibly genuine…… Although, on reflection, the bit about the grey fleece needing a wash would have probably given the game away.

I don’t advocate taking my advice on matters philosophical. However, if my fictional statement of “If it’s cold wear a coat. If it’s warm don’t wear a coat. If its mild wear a fleece, but not the grey one as it needs a wash.” makes people evaluate and adjust their behaviour for the better, then it’s still valid advice…… Isn’t it?

To me that’s common sense, but I’m just a simple bloke from the north of England, not a well educated philosopher from Lille……. Actually, coming to think of it neither was Aidan Le Torche; I made him up remember!

One of the hardest things about making up fictional names is recalling them 500 words later in the monologue. In the paragraph above I wrote the French philosophers name as Aidan Le Front. Thankfully, I scrolled back to check and corrected accordingly.

Like most of my blogs, this take on philosophy has been written very much with tongue in cheek. Although my opinions, they have been given a mischievous slant to try add a lighthearted spin on the caution required at whose advice you adhere to.

Right, after spending a morning writing that pretentious bollocks, I need to go and wash my fleeces. I need to be prepared in the event the weather takes a turn for the milder

My grey fleece in cleaner days

fleece

Categories: Blogs, depression, fiction, humour, parody, Spoof News Stories

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