What Was That You Said?!

Although hazy recollections, I’m pretty sure a few summers back I penned a narrative about an outdoor audio backdrop involving wood pigeons communicating with each other. An exchange not too dissimilar to listening to a bunch of old fishwives over a garden fence.

As I recall I was fascinated at the time by the avian protagonists coo. A repeat call which sounded something like the assertion “You’re too thin Bethany!”

Clearly, I’ll never know whether this was a mother wood pigeon admonishing her body conscious chick, Bethany, for insufficient worm and discarded kebab intake. I’d suspect, though, the birds cry wasn’t related in anyway to a feathered offspring’s eating disorder; or indeed believe her progeny was named Bethany.

As I don’t talk pigeon, or indeed any other common woodland bird dialect, I can’t dismiss the wood pigeon’s chatter being an admonishment of her offspring. However, such a proposition seems preposterous; consequently, I’ll go with my gut feeling it wasn’t.

Anyhow, you’re probably wondering why I took this meander down wood pigeon memory lane. Why unearth such absurdity, Gary?” I hear you shout from front your mobile device… Well to answer your inquiry, the old pigeon blog yarn popped into my mind this morning while taking an outdoor walk from my Fuerteventura hotel room toward the establishment’s main building for breakfast.

While walking past a four birds, perched atop a pergola en route, I concluded the sight wasn’t too dissimilar to the quartet of mischievous crows seen in the 1942 Disney cartoon Dumbo.

The latter tufty cabal attracting controversy in contemporary times; irk generated mainly through the main crow character the cartoon being voiced by a white man (Cliff Edwards) “talkin’ jive”. A plot line in the socio-political zeitgeist deemed as the animated equivalent of a minstrel show. 

Incidentally, this morning’s grey avians of my acquaintance resembled pigeons crossed with a dove, not crows. However, I deemed they may bear the same impish persona (or should that be birdsong) as their black hued cousins after hearing one coo “Payday loan.” as I passed

Now, as with the UK-based pigeons mentioned above, my interpretation of what these avians were actually saying was likely miles wide of the mark. It did, though, make me wonder if it could be possible the poves (Pigeon/dove cross) were playing a game whereby they were guessing how passing guests had financed their holidays.

If this birdy pastime was actually a thing, after evaluating my overall appearance and gait, these feathery folk appeared to conclude yours truly had secured this little hiatus courtesy of a payday loan.

That being said, I didn’t rise to this beaky character assassination. As much as I wanted to hide around the corner to see if they chirped “Visa card.“, “Drug money, “Proceeds from a bank robbery.” at subsequent passing guests, I resisted and proceeded into the canteen, where my scrambled egg on toast beckoned.

I thought overthinking what sounded like an avian slur wasn’t worth it. After all, as the old saying goes, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never harm me!”

Actually, who am I trying to kid… For your information you judgmental feathered f***ers I paid for my holiday in cash, you cheeky b*****ds!!

There, I feel so much better for getting that off my chest!!

Incidentally, can anyone lend me £500 until payday?!

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