After a few months sabbatical from bi-weekly Zoom quiz nights with buddies from Gateshead, yesterday evening it was good to remount that inquisitorial challenge horse.

Yours truly’s reasons for a hiatus not borne from diminished brio from previous attendance at these fun-filled clambakes. Moreover, GJ Strachan’s dark mood consequential of prevailing familial events during the final half of 2021, including the passing of a loved one. A subject of which I’ve written about at length and currently have no interest, or indeed inclination, of regurgitating in essay.

Anyhow, entering the new year with re-invigorated spirits and healthier existential outlook, at 8pm I rode back into town on my metaphorical horse for a general knowledge shootout with five other fellas.

Three hours and six rounds later I left town with a smoking pistol and a contentment borne from an evening of laughter, wine and learning from my brother Ian (who also participated in the evening) that Aldi are currently advertising a ‘3 for 2’ yoghurt offer.

The quizzes rounds included a broad range of general knowledge topics, such as 1980’s BBC comedy Not The Nine O’Clock News, numerical queries, double act questions, along with film/tv inquiries.

There was also a round challenging participants to guess a bunch of Newcastle pubs from edited photographs. As I’ve not lived, or really drank much, in that area for 35 years I was totally flummoxed as pictures of these taverns slipped past my bemused eyes.

My contribution to the evening was an absurd ‘True or False’ round, penning in a similar format to Reeves and Mortimer’s 1990’s/2000’s offbeat quiz Shooting Stars.

Below are the questions written and posed by yours truly for the video link shindig….. The questions highlighted in bold text as true are outrageous deceits which even Walter Mitty would’ve been pleased to’ve devised………. As indeed are some of my comments on the queries marked as false:-

True or False

1. True or False – The person who gave us the adage ‘Actions speak louder than words’ had clearly not heard loud-mouthed actor Brian Blessed speak? – True
2. True or False – Late actor John Thaw famously kept a scotch egg concealed in his inside suit pocket while portraying hard-fisted cop Regan in The Sweeney. True
3. True or False – Samuel Pepys? – False. I’ve been unable to locate any records pertaining to voyeurism charges or arrests relating to anyone named Samuel.
4. True or False – Music hall refrain ‘Maybe it’s because I’m a Londoner’ was in fact written by Scots poet Robert Burns? False. The song was penned by former Welsh football legend John Charles.
5. True or False – On a monthly basis comedian/actor Matt Lucas has his bald pate buffed with beeswax and leaf dew? True
6. True or False – Broadcaster Jeremy Paxman’s nose is so long it keeps his cuban cigar dry during heavy rainfall? False. It only affords protection when smoking small panetellas.
7. True or False – Last summer, while working in the role of mystery shopper at a local supermarket, I wore a T-shirt with the words ‘Mystery Shopper’ emblazoned on the front and back? False. I’ve never had such a role. That being said, if I did I’d be sorely tempted to indulge in such tomfoolery.
8. True or False – The title of former long-running BBC radio show ‘Sing Something Simple’ was coincidentally also a request frequently made to Benny from Crossroads on karaoke night? – True.
9. True or False – During a stint advertising Japanese cars in the 1970’s actor Henry Fonda attracted the nickname Fenry Honda? – False.
10. True or False – While working as a zoo keeper, late ventriloquist Rod Hull got his idea of using an Emu puppet after being attacked by an ostrich while endeavouring to free an egg from its flue? True.
11. True or False – The band James got it’s name from lead singer Tim Booth’s admiration of ‘All Creatures Great And Small’ vet James Herriot? False. They acquired the moniker from the front man’s reverence of former Watford keeper David James.
12. True or False – During the notorious butter scene in the movie ‘Last Tango in Paris’ Marlon Brando’s character actually used the margarine ‘I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter’ as a lubricant? True
13. True or False – The character Goose in the hit movie Top Gun wasn’t really a goose? True, it was a swan in an Anthony Edwards suit.
14. True or False – Rocking chair crooner Val Doonican’s guitar is strung from tail hairs taken from Paddy McGinty’s goat? False. The fibres were taken from Delaney’s donkey.
15. True or False – The person who claimed ‘Cleanliness is next to godliness’ obviously hasn’t seen how untidy my local church is? True