At the risk of turning this into a less accomplished Alan Bennett biscuit monologue, yesterday I became reacquainted with the joys of Rich Teas.

After having my head turned with the enchantment of a chocolate Hob Nob in the mid-1980’s, a cookie pleasure I’d not experienced for decades. The chocolate coated seductresses beckoning me to them like siren lured sailors in Greek mythology.

My split with the plainer cookie handled appallingly on my part. My callousness extending as far as failing to provide my former biscuit love with any explanation for our romances fissure… The equivalent of in modern times dumping someone by text.

Thankfully the Rich Tea dealt with the situation with a great deal more class than me. Philosophically moving on to other suitors, avoiding the histrionics employed by some wronged amours. 

Their dignified behaviour disproving the adage ‘Hell hath no fury like a chocolate-less biscuit scorned’. Decency my immature and selfish actions hadn’t warranted. Theirs a level of decorum well above what my uncharacteristic thoughtlessness had deserved.

In 1985, with my judgement clouded, I became smitten with a wonderful new choccy biscuit squeeze. Not until the benefit of a hindsight, consequential of greater pragmatism in middle-age, did I see the error of my ways.

Anyhow, yesterday after thirty years since our last rendezvous, I once again met up with good old Rich Tea. Age hadn’t weathered her cocoa free visage, although she seemed smaller than I remembered her in the 1980’s.

Reacquainted again, it soon became clear Rich Tea was the same unassuming, understated sweet biscuit I fell in love with during my fledgling years, before the cocoa topped Hob Nob swept me off with its mouth-watering beauty.

During yesterday’s reunion, we laughed about old times; such as Sunday lunch in 1983 when I dipped her in the gravy jug… I’m unsure which was the more shameful, classlessly dunking my cookie, or the fact we had Rich Tea biscuits accompanying our roast beef dinner.

I long ago grew tired of the tasty but higher caloried chocolate Hob Nob. My shallowness at what constituted real biscuit beauty abating, allowing me to view the world through more enlightened eyes.

Who knows, yesterday’s reunion with Rich Teas as an afternoon cuppa accompaniment, may prove a catalyst to re-evaluating other baked snack selections.

Re-igniting old times with other former companions of my daily brews. Rekindled biscuity relationships which would be underpinned by middle-aged maturity; me no longer judging a book by its cover….. Or, should I say, a biscuit by its chocolate content.

I had really forgotten how underrated Rich Teas were. Until yesterday I’d pigeon-holed them with Nice biscuits, malted milks and digestives in the ‘Eat As A Last Resort’ category. However, it turns out my memory has been playing tricks on me for decades, my old amour a far superior tasting cookie than recollections evoked.

As a man with Scottish and Yorkshire roots who’s inclined to watch the pennies, the fact these plain sweet biscuits are only 45 pence a packet is also a big selling point. A price that once again proves the adage about the best things in life being free… Well, 45p anyhow!

To close, while writing this narrative I’d cause to visit the website for biscuit manufacturer McVities. An e-stop where I rightly or wrongly found being asked to accept their cookie policy highly whimsical…… Please don’t judge me for that; after all, I don’t get out much these days!