Giz A Job

After two years of retirement, I’m seriously contemplating dipping my toe back into the pool of paid employment. Don’t get me wrong, since taking my pension early I have spent my time in a productive and a predominantly verve filled times. However, of late I’ve decided I spend an unhealthy amount of time on my tod.

Seperated from my wife for around four years, a partner (Sarah) working long inhospitable hours and family/friends not living locally, solitude is an all too frequent existential bed-fellow. Ordinarily, I thrive in my own space; currently, though, it feels the balance is too heavily tilting towards Planet Isolation.

Footnote – Planet Isolation is a great place for practising hermits, however for those less disenfranchised with life it is a drudge. The poor self-hygiene practises life there encourages are particularly unpleasant… Savings on washing powder, shower gel, deodorant and toothpaste embracing this lifestyle don’t make up for living in the same undies for four days.

Incidentally, when stating yours truly lives in the same undies for four days, I’m of course meaning I wear them for that duration. Not that GJ Strachan’s shreddies become his pungent residence for 96 hours… Bloody hell, how big do you think my boxers are?!

I would like to make it clear, I’m not seeking sympathy for how my current life plot lines play out. I’ve absolutely no reason to want/expect that.. I have a great life in so many ways; truly blessed.

Another main driver for contemplating a return to work is a feeling I’ve still plenty to contribute within a working environment. I don’t wanna reach my death bed with that fuel still left in the tank… I want my body cremated, not exploding into several pieces!!… That being said I’m using hyperbole, the fuel isn’t real… Calm down, Gary!

Never mind all that, Gary…. What type of role are you after, you capricious fella? I hear you cry.

Well to start with, I won’t be touching anything in the IT sector with the very longest of bargepoles. This the area I worked in for over 30 years. A field giving me about as much fulfilment as enforced back to back watching of every programme Simon Cowell has spewed unceremoniously onto TV would.

I met some great people over those three decades; however, that type of work left me cold. Mainly because there was a caged creative lion strolling my neurological corridors. A metaphorical beast longing to burst onto the scene to show the world (well, the people in my orbit) I had so much more to offer… Not to mention, I had the capacity to smile in the workplace.

Having four mouths to feed, along with a misguided lack of confidence at jumping into a creative role, instead I pimped myself out to a career which I didn’t enjoy but paid well. Sadly. leaving the lion pacing inside my mind with an unfulfilling metaphorical salad, instead of the wildebeest it craved.

“So what do you want to do, Gary?” I hear you cry from your first floor apartment in Bridlington… Unless, of course, you’re not in a first floor apartment in Bridlington.

To clarify, don’t freak out if you are reading this in a first floor Brid apartment. I genuinely don’t have the powers of telepathy which afford me insight into folk who read my work’s current location… You won’t have to take out some sort of ESP restraining order!… Well, not until I can perfect that trick anyhow.

I guess my ideal choice for a role, apart from being Professor Pat Pending in Wacky Races (which would be great), would be a part-time content writer. A role allowing me to work in a paid role undertaking something I’m passionate about.

How feasible that pipe dream is remains to be seen. Apart from a four page feature I wrote for The Dalesman magazine in 2021, I’ve never monetised any of the many pieces of work, including 2,695 blogs on my website,

I have put them into book format, but the cost of buying them in isolation makes it too prohibitive for Joe and Josephine Public to realistically wanna shell out for the tomes. Consequently, the only copies of these 57 books are in my bookcase.

With not undertaking the role professionally, I’m unsure if anybody would take a punt on employing me in the role… I’m gonna give it a darned good go though… With a capacity to write on a range of topics both whimsically and in a more serious fashion, I’d back myself if given that opportunity.

I’ve engaged a friend in HR who says my CV is pretty impressive… With the exception of stating I want to be Professor Pat Pending from Wacky Races… It got removed!

Anyhow, currently I’ve a few irons in the fire… Wish me luck.

Incidentally, if you enjoy my blogs and know anyone with a vacant writing role let them (or me) know… Even if you don’t enjoy my blogs and know anyone with a vacant writing role let them (or me) know… Just cos you don’t bloody like them doesn’t mean they won’t! 😉

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