Two Lefts Don’t Make A Right

Walking the dogs this morning set me thinking about what part, if any, the cosmos bears in how our capricious lives pan out.

This pondering ignited by something as unremarkable as seeking to understand why my strolling buddies always walk on the opposite side of an obstruction (eg lamp post or park gate) to my ambling route.

This act no big deal if the furry friends are untethered. However, when occurring whilst bound by their lead, meaning I’ve to halt, reverse and walk in the original direction my canine chums chose, it’s a tad galling.

This toast falling butter side down karma frequently playing out during our recreational wanders, especially during hikes to our local park. The usual ‘scene of crime’ a lamp post and adjacent greetings sign close to the wood lined field’s entrance.

It’s at this illumination post where they (dogs Zella and Deano) tend to veer offtrack, requiring me to leave the footpath dissecting Moor Knoll Lane’s smallish green site to unravel their leads. The restraining ropes becoming wrapped around the 8ft high pole. Sometimes tangled more than once around the obstruction if their inquisitorial sniffing gets overly tenacious.

Add into that troublesome brew there’s occasionally two leads tangled around this lighting column’s circumference. Subsequently, a simple dog walk turns into the unravelling of cabling nightmare sometimes faced by network installation engineers at large computer sites.

When manfully attempting to free both canines, which isn’t always easy if they’re wriggling due to discontentment at the prevailing plot, my language turns to the brisker side. It’s volume dependant upon if anyone’s in the immediate vicinity of yours truly’s half-assed attempts to regain the dogs liberty.

My cursing taken to DEFCON 3 if one, or both, of my furry buddies decide to fill in this time of inadvertent restraint by pooping. A scenario where I nobly endeavour to pick up the faeces in one hand whilst trying to free the woofers with the other…… Who says us fellas can’t multitask, eh?

On the rare occasions I can’t get the tangled restraints unravelled, I’ll free the mutts at the collar, allowing them to roam untethered while I concentrate on the job in hand.

Affording them freedom, creating a scene where they wander off to explore the woods while GJ Strachan stands lamp post adjacent unravelling the knotted leads. On occasion wondering whether my buddy Sarah (their owner) will have her German Shepherd and Lhasa apso back!!……

Footnote – To be clear, the reason I look after the divine Ms Brook’s pets isn’t because she no longer wants the scamps. I simply volunteered for the gig as I’m retired and she works more hours than a junior A&E doctor.

It’s fair to say, I’m very attached to both of these beautiful hounds. That being said my dog sitting will soon be significantly reduced as I’m currently in the process of flat searching. This in preparation for leaving my late parents house (where I’ve resided for the past three years) when it’s sale completes in the next month or so.

Sadly, even if the landlord allows pets (most don’t), a flat isn’t the best permanent address for our furry friends. Consequently, they’ll have to move back to their mums house and see daddy Gaz. only fleetingly, well, compared to now anyway.

Anyhow, I started this prose by relaying this mornings walk with Zella and Deano got me thinking about the part our cosmos plays in an individuals venture upon this vale of tears.

This triggered after I decided, to avoid lead tangle, I’d walk out of the park taking my furry buddies usual route of departure via the lamp post’s left hand side. Five minutes later I found myself still unravelling lead tangle after they both took the path to the right…… Bloody dogs!!

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