You Got Email

As is usual, today at the denouement of my MacBook Air’s boot up process, contents of yours truly’s email inbox enveloped the devices once black screen. The presentation of hundreds of unopened notes. like a sad eyed dog emotionally relieving it’s owner of their last bacon rasher, pitifully pleading for GJ Strachan’s immediate attention

Upon witnessing this plethora of post it dawned on me, in prevailing times, how little I look at my electronically delivered mail. I occasionally give the vast list of unread correspondence a cursory glance. However, that task is undertaken with such indifference on my part there’s a good chance any urgent mail, or those pertaining to anything remotely captivating, could be missed by yours truly.

To be honest, my strategy for maintaining email folders is woefully inept – As I’ve retired early, my laziness towards their upkeep unforgivable. Or it will be if it later materialises an important document wasn’t picked up as a consequence of my tardiness. for instance an unpaid bill resulting in a credit score misdemeanour.

To clarify, any disinterest towards purging my burgeoning mail folders isn’t due to having enough technical wherewithal to cut this spam mail off at source. I’m fully aware a simple task of opening up correspondence from any senders distribution lists whose products/services don’t interest you, Merely unsubscribing your email from that despatch list.

Examples of the above currently residing in that received folder being a trinity of careers bureaus (who post at least once daily), Funky Pigeon greetings card suppliers, Heather from PrinterInk peddling her wares and JD Sport attempting to coax me away from my late mum’s commentary on false economy of “You buy s**t, you buy twice.”

I’m uncertain why I’ve become so lazy and dispirited upon witnessing the detritus squatting within the chambers of my inbox. That being said, I probably answered that conundrum when labelling it detritus in the previous sentence……. At a rough guess I’d say the very fact 95% of incoming correspondence could be branded as the ‘d’ word above.

Who knows, perhaps something deep in my psyche is luring me away from distribution list unsubscribing. After all, one never knows when you’ll need a deal for an online greetings card, or requirement for contacting Heather to facilitate printer ink replenishment.

During research for this piece, I was interested in a question on an online forum in which the writer inquired why he’d so many unread emails. Ignoring the queries lack of specificity, the responder chose the polite response about how it was a result of marketing spam from companies who’ve acquired your email address.

If it was me receiving such a vaguely formed inquiry, I’d have been tempted to reply to his question with “Because you don’t bloody read them, you silly sod!”…… Perhaps, that’s one of the reasons I’ve never been headhunted for my social media response skills.

Anyhow, I need to bring this blog to a conclusion as my printer ink has just run out. Now where’s the last email offer from Heather….. Well done whatever is deep in my psyche for stopping me unsubscribing!

As my dear departed mum used to say “Delete emails in haste, run out of printer ink at leisure .”…. Or, something like that.

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