Yesterday evening I was one of six fellas fortunate enough to partake in a highly entertaining bi-weekly Zoom quiz. This gig involving buddies who, like myself, were raised in the south Gateshead suburb of Low Fell. Three of our number (including GJ Strachan) moving away from the area decades ago – The other trio remaining within a shortish drive from their fledgling year locale.
Amongst the number of those remaining north east in situ was my brother Ian. Our kid, like the rest of the inquisitorial crew, providing participants with a series of thought provoking and insightful queries such as “Where were you between the hours of 9pm and midnight on Tuesday evening, sir?”.….. Errrr, actually I’m probably confusing that inquiry with one I’d received from a detective inspector earlier in the day…… Ermmmm, I’ll move on as I’ve probably said too much!
Ian’s round including three very arbitrary categories. Twenty five questions incorporating ten relating to movie quotes; five about Greggs (the bakers); and a further ten relating to left or right terminology…… It has to be said, the middle five questions manifesting huge hunger pangs amongst the question’s recipients.
My younger sibling providing great entertainment during the inordinately excessive duration of his turn as question master – Despite his slot not concluding around an hour and a half after he’d proceeded. This stretching over the usual half hour it ordinarily takes each round due to numerous diversions before, during and after both his questions and answers.
The questioning started with Scott P, who left the north east for the sunnier climes of Northamptonshire in 1987. His jocular offering designed to test contestants knowledge into the twenty risqué location names were genuine or figments of his imagination. Queries delivered from his garden patio during a particularly balmy Northants evening.
Amongst this mismatch of address based fact and fiction lay monikers such as Wetwang, Ballsdeep Lane and the wonderfully titled village of Shittington. Scott’s series of catechisms a splendid and very funny way to commence these always enjoyable shindigs.
Tim M was the next to the questioning oche with a raft of queries relating to the early years of BBC Radio One broadcasting. His inquiries thankfully only raising cursory mentions from our crew about Operation Yew Tree; not to mention leading to Mark Goodier’s name popping into my conscious mind for the first time in decades.
One of Jeff P’s rounds related to pictures of each participants view from their residences window, which he’d requested we privately send earlier in the week. During the quiz, each of these photos sent to each contestant for them to guess who resided in each abode.
The picture of my current drum (the Wakefield home of Ian and my late parents) correctly guessed by three of the group…… Bizarrely, one of the two who was unable to put my name to the picture was our kid!!….. A house his parents lived in for three decades and of which he owns a share!!
My own round played out as the show’s finale. As is habitually served up to the crew, GJ Strachan’s ‘True or False’ round a series of absurd inquiries within which I fictionally state a proportion are true. It’s fair to say, any question marked as correct are Trumpian in deceit levels.
Below are the queries I wrote and presented yesterday evening:-
True or False Round – 17th February 2022
1. True or False – During lockdown, when quaffing 10 pints of lager with 12 other individuals at a friends house, I thought I was attending a work meeting? True
2. True or False – I have never knowingly fathered a son called Rudolph? True
3. True or False – I have never knowingly fathered a daughter called Rudolph? False. My daughter’s my first name is Rudolph. Perhaps unsurprisingly she prefers to be known by her middle name Rachel.
4. True or False – In christianity, Protestants are just Catholics who’ve flunked Latin? False. It’s Episcopalians who famously struggle with the classic Italic language.
5. True or False – 1970’s Formula One driver James Hunt was relieved he wasn’t baptised Mike. True
6. True or False – Late great rugby union commentator Bill McClaren was crowned 1962 Hawick Arm Wrestling Champion? False. it was in 1965 the legendary broadcaster prevailed as top dog in the ‘sport’.
7. True or False – Late great rugby league commentator Eddie Waring’s father died in child birth. False. His old man was fit and well until a Dewsbury tram ran over him when Edward was 6 years old.
8. True or False – Boris Johnson only turns up for business meetings when he believes an alcohol fuelled knees up is on the cards. True
9. True or False – Iconic Bullseye host Jim Bowen had seventeen speed boats, courtesy of the show’s star prizes being abandoned by winners residing nowhere near suitable waterways to utilise the craft? True
10. True or False -Despite being labelled as camp comedian in 1980’s BBC comedy ‘Hi-De-Hi’, brash funnyman Ted Bovis didn’t seem at all in touch with his feminine side. True