Surprise, Surprise!!

Yesterday’s overnight dream played out with the peculiarity which ordinarily underpins my visions of slumber. This surreal plot line including me taking a hedgehog shopping for shoes, snogging late singer/TV presenter Cilla Black and witnessing a circus clown riding off on a Penny Farthing bicycle he’d stolen from my garage.

Events raising several questions upon my reveille…… The main one being “What the f**k, Gary!!!!

Footnote – To clarify, the scene where I was kissing Cilla Black was when she was alive. I’m currently single, but my parameters for a prospective partner in waking hours (or indeed when kipping) haven’t plummeted to post rigorous mortis…. As for Cilla, though, she’s evidently less picky when selecting potential beaus!!

Other questions manifesting from these night visions incorporating why I’d ever think procuring a Penny Farthing cycle would be a good purchase. Not to mention, had I been sniffing bath salts prior to venturing to buy a hedgehog footwear. After all, they’re notorious for being incredibly diva-like when selecting new clogs.

Anyhow, if any of you know anything about meaning of this idiosyncratic dream feel free to get in touch. Or alternatively, I’d appreciate any recommendations for a good therapist……. Actually, they don’t even have to be that good…… Just cheap!

As I write, I’m sitting in what was sold to me online as a zero gravity garden chair. A moniker which currently baffles yours truly. After all, the easy chair is firmly parked on my patio, indicating gravitational forces do play some part in bringing it together it’s mass with that of terra firma.

The sun is forecast to make an appearance presently. The warm kisses from it’s solar rays scheduled to last up to 48 hours. After almost wall to wall precipitation during 2021’s fifth month, the large yellow faced fella is more than welcome to lay his hat here for a while.

I’ve recently returned from the local butcher’s shop, where I picked up a few bits for this afternoon’s alfresco grilling on the barbie. Cleaning of the aforementioned outdoor cooking oven prefacing my recent meander down to Binks butchers on Bradford Road.

Yours truly forced to walk the 15-20 minute journey after my Penny Farthing bicycle went missing overnight…… Oh hold on, that didn’t happen did it!….. It was merely a dream……. As you were!

While commencing this section of my journal, the back gate has just menacingly creaked ajar. Sounding like a vampires coffin, it appears I need to spray some WD40 on the wooden barriers hinges.

I’m assuming it’s the gate creaking, anyhow. I’d suggest it’s a bit sunny for Dracula and his buddies to make an appearance. Like the hedgehog, when he turns up at dusk in his new shoes, the blood suckers are more likely to call when the sun’s departed for the Southern Hemisphere.

Subsequently, as our Aussie, NZ and African cousins ‘enjoy’ their ever shortening autumnal days, GJ Strachan unwittingly becoming a blood donor as he slumbers….. Perhaps!

Being unable to see my laptop screen due to the newly arrived sun’s glare, I’ve had to retire indoors to conclude this literary fare. As the old adage nearly says, ‘The sun, eh. You can’t live with it and you can’t get natural vitamin D infusions without it’.

Although, I can now navigate around my website editor and once again see what I’m actually writing, I’ve a new distraction from composing this piece in the shape of my mum’s cacophonous snoring.

This ungodly din emanating from the living room…… No bloody wonder Dracula’s nocturnal slumber is being disturbed!!

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