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Distractions & Deletions

This literary composition progresses with a soundscape of the late spring breeze emanating tenderly through French door. It’s gentle rustle through stalk and leaf bestowing a serene backdrop to my penmanship; this gift of Mother Nature (MN) enhanced further by witnessing a bee collecting pollen from cerise digitalis flutes.

During the COVID pandemic, MN deems bee cross pollination as key work, consequently there’s no furlough for these conscientious apidaes. Perhaps this evening, during the weekly two minute clap for key workers, I’ll include an extra hand slap in acknowledgement of the horticultural contribution by these insects

I think I may’ve jumped gun with an earlier boast of enjoying a sedate writing environment. Within the last 10-15 minutes, I’ve incurred several distractions whilst endeavouring to wax lyrical.

Amongst them the transporting of my mum’s laundry for her to peg on the line, a telephone disagreement with my estranged wife, along with several emails/messages requiring immediate attention.

Consequential of these interruptions, I’ve been unable to gather any flow with the narrative. Any epiphanies left moribund in the aftermath of one disturbance or other. I’m 160 words into the piece and these diversions, a dive bombing fly, along with the warm weather leaving me in an agitated state.

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In a show of influencing skills not witnessed since Hans Christian Anderson’s tale of The Emperors New Clothes, I’ve managed to persuade my mum to eat barbecued food for tea.

Maggie, a dye in the wool bbqphobe, actually countenancing to broaden her culinary experiences by consuming pork sausages grilled over briquettes outdoors. A fete she’d ordinarily fend off with the largest of bargepoles, despite having no qualms about eating the very same tuck if grilled indoors.

Also this evening, following the alfresco dining and clap for carers, I’m facilitating a music quiz; my rounds of questioning interspersed by musical performances from a selection of the participants.

With five rounds of questions from yours truly, along with eight refrains to incorporate into the evening, earlier I trimmed a few the absurd questions I’d written for my Questions David Icke Might Ask round. That section of the quiz now only containing fifteen instead of the previous twenty five queries.

Consequently, the following absurd inquisitions won’t now see the light of day……. Well, apart from in this blog!……. I think the quiz participants may’ve dodged ten very random bullets!:-

Is It True?….. Or, Is It False

  1. The title of Charles Aznavor song ‘Chanson d’amour’ translates into English as “Have you chanced upon my armour?”
  2. Drummer Pete Best was known as the ‘Fifth Alvin & The Chipmunk?
  3. Jerome Kern and Otto Harbach wrote the song ‘Smoke Gets In Your Eyes’ in the midst of a chip pan fire?
  4. Singer/Guitarist Hank Marvin’s wife once wrote a book called ‘Me & My Shadow’?
  5. The Z in Jay-Z’s moniker stands for Zebra?
  6. Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher doesn’t really use profanity. The cursing is dubbing in later by brother Noel to discredit his younger sibling?
  7. Legendary singer Art Garfunkel is the secretary of the Hair Bear Bunch fan club?
  8. Bros lead singer Matt Goss wrote the song ‘I Owe You Nothing’ following a heated telephone dispute with his power company about incorrect meter readings?
  9. In his fledgling years Welsh singer Aled Jones struggled to spell the word juxtaposition?
  10. To relax between shows, Frank Zappa used to tender his homing pigeons?

Categories: Blogs family fiction humour

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Gary Strachan

2 kids who've flown the nest, 1 wife whose flown with Jet2. Born at a young age in 1960's Leeds, the author became interested in the literary life when his wife bought him a dog. Having an allergy to dogs, he swapped it for a typewriter. Being unable to train the typewriter to retrieve tennis balls, he reluctantly turned to writing...... Website - www.writesaidfred.org

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