Sitting at my garden patio table, sipping a cryogenically cold lemonade to combat a thirst worked up during my recent walk to the food store, I currently seek topic inspiration for this second blog of the day.
Despite witnessing a chromatic canvas, courtesy of adjacent cottage garden shrubs to my left, epiphanies escape me. I look towards a purple aquilegia hoping through the power of horticultural extrasensory perception (ESP) it can suggest a subject for today’s literary sequel.
A slight breeze motions the shrub, as though pointing, toward the garden waste bin. I back myself to write on a variety of themes, however waxing lyrical about a brown wheelie receptacle maybe a challenge too far for yours truly.
I mean, how on earth could anyone write a minimum 500 word monologue about eradicated grass cuttings, dug up weeds, shrub trimmings, along with the three foot bin where they lay bereft of life.
Even the fertile imagination of author JK Rowling would surely struggle to manifest that amount of material about horticultural refuse receptacles. A fact which leads me to confidently predict we’ll not be seeing a tome, and/or movie, titled Harry Potter & The Brown Garbage Bin anytime soon!
I’ve never read a Harry Potter book are watched a movie from the franchise. However, if JKR does author a novel whereby HP’s nemesis is an evil grass cutting bin, the reverence I’d hold for the lady’s creativity would be so lofty I’d purchase the book, along with viewing any subsequent celluloid offering.
I suppose yours truly could maybe capable of penning a paragraph or two relating to the box of kindling currently residing atop the garden waste receptacle. Again, though, how do you make kindling interesting. Wooden sticks hold no entertainment value; unless you’re playing Jenga, and even then the adrenaline rush falls well below a parachute jump……. No, on reflection, Harry Potter & The Magic Kindling is as unlikely to be witnessed in your local library as would Harry Potter & The Brown Garbage Bin.
When embarking on a literary odyssey, I guess you’ve got to remain pragmatic and realise there are just some topics that can’t be crafted into an interesting narrative. For instance, off the top of my head, a rogue shark terrorising a US island community, or an extra terrestrial befriending an American boy with a flying bike.
I’ll have to resign myself with the shame I’ve been unable to achieve the objective set by my purple aquilegia while motioned inwards by the gentle West Yorkshire breeze….. Or so it seemed, anyhow!
The aforementioned shrub now looking decidedly deflated at my indifference towards pursuing it’s topic suggestion……. Or that could just be the result of a neighbourhood football landing on the plant.
I suppose doubters of my creative wherewithal will pour scorn on my inability to serve up storyline fare involved a garbage bin holding aspirations of world dominance. Consequently, dubbing me a literary charlatan of the highest order.
Yours truly becoming labelled a deceiving northern Englishman whose versatility and creative mind are not as prolific as he sells it on the tin. Finally proving I’m a lexicological Walter Mitty, without the wherewithal to fictionalise a tale regarding a toxic flora and fauna refuse receptacle going by the mantle of Billy Brown-Bin (or BBB as he’s known among the East Cradlebeck criminal underworld).
BBB a debauched villain seeking global supremacy with his equally ruthless sidekick Jimmy Jenga-Blogs (JJB). The duo aiming to secure this desire with global internet access denial and bulk buying of creosote to undermine the wood fencing economy.
Anyhow, I’m guilty as charged, I’ve clearly don’t possess creative capability to write a minimum of 500 words relating to a topic as banal as brown refuse receptacles…… Hold on a minute, though!……