Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

Tag Archive for ‘essay’

Super Stormtrooper Beams Are Gonna Blind Me

I’ve been slightly delayed in penning this essay. A self-inflicted inconvenience consequential of me, on taking my seat at the coffee shop which’s become my habitual lieu l’ectriture, misguidedly carrying out a system update on my laptop. This action rendering me unable to use my device for twenty minutes, resulting in a frustrating time during which any aspirations of waxing lyrical were denied me. Instead creating a period of white […]

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Folks Feel Christmassy, But Gary Disnae

Despite being the 10th December, there remains a paucity of Christmas spirit within yours truly’s capricious psyche. Apart from ordering a few presents online, thus far little has changed from my usual day-to-day pre-festive season existence. This afternoon, though, I’m hoping decorating a Christmas tree at my East Ardsley abode will be a catalyst to negating this scrooge-esque behaviour. This relatively simple task hopefully manifesting conscious awareness of what the […]

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Ballot By Ordeal

Despite a huge indifference towards dining at the unappetising looking General Election buffet table, on Thursday I’ll join fellow UK citizens in selecting an unwanted ballot box ‘dish’. Unappealing fare which’ll no doubt riddle us with indigestion for the next five years. Above is my poetic attempt at conveying, due to the uninspiring options available, my complete lack of enthusiasm for the task in hand, I liken the contemporary ballot box […]

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Festive Soap On A Rope

Door number five on the advent calendar opened effortlessly this morning. A small tug of the sticky tape applied by pilferer of its former confectionery contents (who’ll remain nameless) relinquishing the cardboard door from it’s union with the calendars façade. With aspirations of elevating Christmas cheer levels in the Thirsk cottage I’m sharing with a group of friends, we’re adorning Christmas sweaters and partaking in what for many is a traditional […]

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Serenity

Today sees my last day on the North Yorkshire break hastily instigated a week ago in a bid to escape the relentless stress consequential of living at my mum’s abode. Anxiety levels heightened by our increasingly fraught relationship, which’d reached a plateau where yours truly genuinely feared, if unaddressed, I’d undergo another heart attack. That being said, I suspect spending four nights in a Thirsk cottage writing on my laptop, […]

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A Sherry & Mince Pie, Please!

On opening the Strachan advent calendar door number four this morning I was greeted by the souls of the oppressed. Although affable enough souls, particularly when you take into account the terrible suffering they’ve endured, I’m beginning to hold misgivings about investing in Torture magazine’s festive calendar***. Todays’s bestowal as equally disturbing as the Fingernails of No Return which yesterday laid in wait from behind the calendar’s door number three. It’s […]

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This Is Me

It’s Wednesday morning and I’ve just returned home after transporting two family members to Leeds Railway Station. This convivial twenty minute sojourn by car undertaken to a backdrop of tunes from the musicals on Apple Music; anthems predominantly taken from the movies La La Land and The Greatest Showman. Award winning contemporary musical refrains from the prodigious pen and creatively fertile minds of American songwriting duo Pasek and Paul. Exposure […]

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