Sitting in my sanctuaire de jardin, awaiting inspiration for today’s prose topic, a black cat’s just sauntered arrogantly past within six feet of my chair. The furry trespasser heading towards a set of wood fencing panels bordering this chromatic area, before vaulting it and landing back onto terra firma in a neighbours garden.
This feline strutting past me with a vain-glorious surety mirroring late Queen singer Freddie Mercury’s cocksure stage presence, Sadly, unlike Frederick though, the moggy wasn’t inclined to accompany this strut with a memorable pop anthem.
Unable to recall which end of the serendipity scale folklore attaches to witnessing a passing black cat, yours truly ventured online looking to unearth how superstition would respond to this episode. Would fate heap good fortune onto yours truly as a consequence of this meeting? Or, alternatively, in the near future would it spew misfortune my way.
Sadly, with website research sources returning wholly contradictory responses, as it stands I’m none the wiser. Consequently, I’m still at a loss as to whether to seek a builder’s quote for construction of a panic room in preparation for potential upcoming misfortune – Or, provisionally book a cruise.
Although, thinking about it, cruising on planet COVID may introduce heightened jeopardy for yours truly……. It’s probably best to select a far less risky purchase should any upcoming windfall land in your lap, Gary!
If truth be told, the arrogance in which this cat flounced past irritated me. This irk a catalyst for notions to seek potential solutions for negating against further moggy trespass upon chez Strachan’s grounds.
One such epiphany, mulling over whether digging/filling a deep moat would dint the dark moggy’s cocksure attitude. Would witnessing gallons of water blocking formerly unrestricted access to neighbourhood fencing ruffle the brash cat’s ‘peacock feathers’, I wondered.
Knowing my luck, though, the cocky feline’d have access to a pair of water wings, allowing it to swim the moat to gain access to my (well, my mother’s) land. Overriding my attempted denial of access.
That being said, however, I suppose I could comfort myself that as inflatable buoyancy aids and sharp cat claws ‘enjoy’ an unpredictable co-existence, the chances of that workaround materialising would be unlikely……. Consequently, witnessing the unquestionably wonderfully comedic view of a cat wearing speedos, swimming goggles and inflatable high-vis water wings to navigate my moat wouldn’t ever happen.
To be honest, I’ve no idea if cat’s can swim. My theory domestic cats don’t appear to like water is based on nothing more than witnessing they’d rather clean their genitals with their own tongue than utilise water and soap.
Anyhow, after further reflection I deemed digging a deep moat would be too much like bloody hard work. Additionally, as this home’s water is metered which’d make costs prohibitive, I abandoned the moat building project. …….. Anyway, I digress.
As things stand, I’ve no idea what superstitious fate awaits my immediate, medium or long term future following today’s brush with Sooty the black cat….. Incidentally, I don’t know if Sooty is his/her’s name, but it’s as good a nome d’plume as any for a chat noir, so it’s staying.
Anyway, in a nutshell, I await whether fate will shortly damn me with misfortune.
Or, on the flip side, if it blesses GJ Strachan with unrelenting serendipity. Good luck such as Sooty turning up with a gift of two tickets for the production of Les Miserables at the Bradford Alhambra…. Or perhaps news my dream of a theme park named Marmiteland is to be constructed. This a Vegemite utopia where dropped toast always lands marmite side up, and every frown gets turned upside down…… Well, unless of course you don’t like Marmite.
Actually, as I conclude this inanity, Sooty has just returned into my back garden as the bearer of both good and bad fortune. The fortuitous news being he/she came bearing two tickets for Les Miserables; the bad is they’re both for restricted view seats….. It appears fate’s as confused as I am!!