The rain has returned with a vengeance over the last few days. in fact, it was so bad in the early hours of Saturday morning the water flowing down the cul-de-sac resembled a swollen brook. Consequently, for a few hours, my front window bequeathed what a realtor may describe as riverside views.
Anyhow, mercifully, this mighty downpour had desisted come daylight hours. Meaning my son Jonny wasn’t in need of a canoe to complete his Saturday odyssey to assist me renovating the dining room into a bedroom. His socially distant abetment necessary as his grandma is scheduled to return home in the coming days following six weeks in hospital, after suffering a stroke.
Jonny put in a good shift in yesterday, during which we built a queen sized bed, re-sited several items of furniture, along with him building a kitchen table out of empty corn flake packaging, washing up liquid and sticky back plastic……. I knew making him watch Blue Peter as a kid would pay dividends one day.
As a thank you for his efforts, I made him sausage sandwiches for lunch and bought him a bottle of whisky. Perhaps, he’d have been even more help to me if he wasn’t downing the whisky while his labour progressed…… I must admit, until yesterday, I’d never seen anyone place bedside lamps upside down before….. And I hope I never do again!
When it got to midday, yours truly put down the screwdriver, sauntered into the kitchen and pulled out a grill pan. While my eldest offspring continued constructing the bed in the dining room, I bellowed “Would you like a sausage sandwich, Jonny?”
He responded with equally raucous volume “Yes please, dad.”
It wasn’t the most interesting of conversations we’ve ever had, but I’d invited him over to do work, not to amuse me with his ‘sparkling’ repartee. Only kidding, my boy is a funny yarn teller, who is more than capable of matching his old man’s raconteur skills. If you don’t believe me just ask him about his ostrich story; I can guarantee you’ll nearly laugh.
While our DIY scenes played out we listened to Magic radio station, where my progeny was ‘treated’ to GJ Strachan’s voice, while belting out the accompanying 1980s/90s hits. Yours truly’s melodic tenor lyric phrasing during these refrains from my young adult years a soundscape appearing to impress Jonny.
While listening to Magic radio it was interesting to hear an advertisement for a Magic Dating group. With only half listening to the site commercial, I didn’t catch the full gist of what service was being peddled to the lovelorn. Subsequently, the following exchange took place with my son:-
Me – “Was that an advert for Magic Dating, Jon?”
Jonny – “I wasn’t really listening, dad….. But I think so.”
Me (acting the fool) – “I wonder what that entails…. Do you reckon it might be a dating site for single people seeking love with a magician?”
Jonny (playing along to my nonsense) – “I could be….. Although, I didn’t hear anything about women seeking to be sawn in half by a prospective beau.”
Me – “Did the commercial mention anything about searching for a lover possessing sleight of hand skills which enable them to pull a rabbit from a hat?…. Or indeed a hare outta their backside?”
Jonny – “I didn’t hear it….. Thinking about it though, dad, I can’t see dating sites going for that specificity level with regards a prospective partners career.“
Me – “You never know, Jonny…. I’m pretty sure there’s a site for women in search of men in uniforms.”
Jonny – “Yeah but lots of women fancy blokes in uniform….. You never hear the same gushing desire to locate a blindfolded fella who’d throw knives at them while spinning on a wheel.”
Me – “Yeah, I guess.”
Jonny – “That being said, we could do with a bloody magician to use some trickery to help put this bloody bed up…. Have you seen all the pieces and fixings for this thing?….. Bloody Ikea!!”