Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

Tag Archive for ‘words’


Yesterday, I was the recipient of a scented candle Christmas gift. Apparently, when ignited this wax fragrance enhancer apparently emits an odour of wild mint. A welcome change from the usual cinnamon aroma which’s ordinarily the family’s festive season candle scent of choice. As yet I’ve not lit the candle; consequently, at this juncture am unable to evaluate the beauty, or otherwise, of the redolence it’ll bequeath the lounge/diner. I’m […]

Continue Reading →

Super Stormtrooper Beams Are Gonna Blind Me

I’ve been slightly delayed in penning this essay. A self-inflicted inconvenience consequential of me, on taking my seat at the coffee shop which’s become my habitual lieu l’ectriture, misguidedly carrying out a system update on my laptop. This action rendering me unable to use my device for twenty minutes, resulting in a frustrating time during which any aspirations of waxing lyrical were denied me. Instead creating a period of white […]

Continue Reading →

Preparations For The Festive Period

This morning, in preparation for the Christmas holiday period, I picked up a bunch of non-perishable comestibles, along with a smattering of non-food products…… To clarify, I didn’t just pick them up and proceed to walk/run out of the supermarket with a security guard in hot pursuit – I also paid for the items.Not only is yours truly disinclined to pilfer, yours truly’s also put off shoplifting by concerns, since January’s […]

Continue Reading →

Mysophobic Meanderings

Mainly through my ignorance, along with a paucity of previous existential exposure to canine company, until a few months ago I wasn’t a fan of having my face licked by a dog……. Or, if truth be told, any other part of my anatomy for that matter! This then indifference borne from hygiene questions raised from frequently witnessing pooches licking their own genitals. Not to mention a not unreasonable aversion (or […]

Continue Reading →

Festive Soap On A Rope

Door number five on the advent calendar opened effortlessly this morning. A small tug of the sticky tape applied by pilferer of its former confectionery contents (who’ll remain nameless) relinquishing the cardboard door from it’s union with the calendars façade. With aspirations of elevating Christmas cheer levels in the Thirsk cottage I’m sharing with a group of friends, we’re adorning Christmas sweaters and partaking in what for many is a traditional […]

Continue Reading →


I’ve the pleasure of my mother’s company as I commence this essay, Costa coffee in situ. This infrequent event of her presence while writing follows her request to accompany me to the White Rose Shopping Centre (WRSC) – Her mission to “Buy some bits for Christmas.” An inquiry I was happy to accommodate, but only after assurances she wouldn’t distract me mid-penmanship once at the south Leeds retail outlet. A […]

Continue Reading →


As I begin this prose I’m taking temporary residence in a Costa coffee house in the White Rose Shopping Centre. My OCD being severely tested by having to utilise a different cafe than normal due to flooding at my usual eatery. Circumstances that’ve led to feelings of angst, an outbreak of hives and a desire to buy cheesecake. Yesterday during a conversation with an acquaintance***, in a tete-a-tete about my summer […]

Continue Reading →