Yesterday, excitement levels of GJ Strachan’s lockdown landscape briefly upped a notch. This short-lived brio arriving in the shape of aesthetic rebirth bequeathed from removing my unkempt beard.
Some, well probably everyone, would deem this episode barely warrants mention on the rock and roll lifestyle scale. However, when the day prior to that’s most invigorating event was spending an hour pondering if I should cut my toenails, I think you’d agree yesterday’s fervour levels did take a temporary upsurge.
Not wanting to appear too fresh-faced, I left some stubble around my jawline. If I’d have plumped for completely clean shaven, with my hair growing upwards while barber bereft, I was anxious I’d look like one of Ned Flanders’ nerdish kids in TV show The Simpsons.
I suppose in these days of enforced hermitry you have to cling onto any short term lightening of spirits, no matter how marginally gained. After all, feeling fresher and more upbeat from removing facial hair is one of the pastimes which’s become the new Sky Sports in these adrenaline suppressed times.
I’m unsure how today’s spiritual lift will be attained. So far the shortlist contains the following options:- The purging of nasal hairs; making a candle from my ear wax; writing a limerick with the inaugural line ‘There was a young lady from Cleaver’; or, courtesy of the solar rays, spend half an hour making silhouette animals on the dining room walls.
If I can muster enough enthusiasm, I may do all four! Although, to be honest, as a man whose suffered a heart attack, the adrenaline rush consequential from undertaking the quartet of tasks in one day may prove a foolhardy goal.
Some may enquire why I don’t follow my mum’s lead, perching lounge in situ watching daytime TV. Adding “You should watch ‘Home Under The Hammier, Gaz!…… I can’t believe how much ex-Aston Villa footballer Dion Dublin knows about house renovation!”
I’d appreciate and respect such a well-meaning advocation. However, despite thinking Dion Dublin is a perfectly affable chap with an impressive penchant for extending his skillset, I’m ordinarily indifferent to viewing ‘Homes Under The Hammer’…… I might compromise, though, and manufacture ear wax candles shaped like Dion holding a spirit level.
My musical brother Ian advises he finds conducting along to pieces of upbeat classic music, using a fly swatter as his baton, a cathartic experience. He claims with great enthusiasm his spirits are invigorated by keeping beat to a stirring piece of allegro music.
His partner Ann confided he doesn’t keep the best time when conducting. Apparently, though, he’s managed to kill twelve flies and smash an overhead light fitting while undertaking his new hobby.
To add a jocular element to working from home, our kid has taken to adorning a fancy dress Scooby Doo outfit while undertaking his work role living room in situ. His boss isn’t overly happy, observing attempts to reclaim unpaid council rent, via video call, is undermined when he makes the requests dressed as Shaggy’s canine buddy.
So irked is his gaffer, he’s threatened to start paying our Ian in Scooby snacks if this practice isn’t halted forthwith!…… To be honest, I thought they already did! 😉
Anyhow, I need to bring this blog to a close. I’ve a shortlist of enlightening tasks to address…… Incidentally, does anyone want to buy ear wax candle moulded into the shape of Dion Dublin?!