On this European Union (EU) Referendum day, I headed to the Polling Station early to vote this morning.
Clad in my tweed slacks and a brick patterned jacket that makes it look as though I’ve been stone cladded, I cut a dash as I left my house at 9am with my wife (Karen).
Being indecisive, I changed my mind twice on the drive to the Polling Station but, after much procrastination and soul searching, I finally made a decision…… I went with my original choice of listening to the Billy Joel cd in the car, not James Taylor’s Sweet Baby James album.
I displayed this same uncertainty on whether to vote to leave or stay in the EU, once I got to the Polling Station. That being said, I refused to be influenced by Karen’s t-shirt slogan of ‘If you vote Leave you’re a racist’
I was equally unswayed by a poster I saw en route which stated ‘Vote Leave to keep cute kittens on social media’.
With not having a definitive preference, as I approached our place of voting I nearly invested in the advice of a man dressed as the grim reaper. Instead of holding a scythe he who was stood with a ‘Don’t Do It!’ placard.
However, as I wasn’t sure what he was advocating not to do, and I was reticent to engage in conversation with the grim reaper, so I entered the Polling Station still undecided.
As I write this section a money spider has just walked over my laptop screen. It’s either a sign that I’m going to make some money from this blog, or I need to dust the cobwebs off this chuffing screen!……. I suspect it’s the latter.
To buy myself further decision making time, I asked the woman handing out voting slips “Can I have a pound of pork sausages, please.” ……. No she didn’t laugh either! Although she did ask how much it cost me to be stone cladded.
I eventually got to the voting booth with my voting slip. I had two boxes staring at me with a misguided expectancy I knew which one of them to populate with a ‘X’.
In an attempt to make my random mind come to a decision, I went over the advice of various celebrities who’d been reeled out in recent days to add weight to the campaigns of both camps.
Do I trust the advice of David Beckham, James Bond and puppet fox Basil Brush to vote ‘Remain’?
Alternatively, should I listen to Liz Hurley, Roger Daltrey and Basil Brush to ‘Leave’?…. It looks like Basil Brush is as unsure as I am.
Basil Brush – Don’t be fooled by the outward confidence. He’s as undecided as me!
I voted in the end. I’m going to keep my decision between me and my maker (Frank’s Indecisive Robots, Kirkstall). It has to be said, though, that I back key objectives on both sides of the argument, which leaves me with a nagging doubt whether I’ve voted sensibly.
Anyway, I’ve made my decision, which is safely nestling in the big cardboard box in the corner of the Polling Station, with ‘Staples’ written on the side…… What do you mean that wasn’t the ballot box?!….. Oh crap!
Right, I need to close this tome now, as my son has just arrived from York. He’s making a stew and has asked to borrow a pot, which I believe is currently in the kitchen calling the kettle black.