This Saturday morning yours truly found myself wondering how acceptable it’d be to pee mid-shower. As I was already peeing in the aforementioned cleaning cubicle at this juncture, it’s fair to say this pondering was very much a case of shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted type.
Granted, a disgusting habit, yet before judging me I’d like you to ponder Jesus’ words of “He who is without sin cast the first stone.”……. And if you do still hold the moral high ground and haven’t ever followed my crude suit at least temper your disgust with these facts:-
a) I aimed directly into the plug hole allowing immediate flushing from the shower water into the drainage system, and b) at least it wasn’t bath water I sullied with my liquid waste.
At this juncture, I’d like it to go on public record that this was a one-off act borne from necessity…… Well, ok, laziness!!
My sloth consequential of not wanting to quit the comforting warm shower water gushing powerfully overhead from the cubicle’s monsoon head – GJ Strachan’s desperation to pass equally warm, but significantly more contaminated, water of his own evidently not swaying him to head toward the toilet bowl only a matter of feet away.
That being said, my pleas for understanding over this one-off act will admittedly raise observations such as “Well, if he’s done it once, he’ll most likely do it again!!…. The dirty Arab!”
Footnote – The expression dirty Arab is an old northern English expression.. I’d like it made clear that as far as I’m concerned it’s not delivered with any hint of bigotry or in any way questioning the habits of those in the middle-east…. I’d hate to be in receipt of casual racism accusation on top of the cries of urinary barbarism which’ll no doubt flood my way as a result of this prose.
Anyhow, even if I’m forgiven for this uncouth act, I suspect there’ll be those who’d suggest what I’ve laid bare in the inaugural paragraphs of this piece is far too much information. Perhaps suggesting that yes it’s ok being candid; however, like Pandora’s box, it’s important to bear in mind there’s horrible things which once released into the ether can’t be retrieved or unforgotten.
That being said, I make no apologies for my candour. After all, the act of having a wee in a shower, not to mention the fact it was shamelessly revealed in despatches, hardly equates to the evils Pandora unleashed onto the world.
I’d argue in the strongest possible terms my misdemeanour, although boorish, doesn’t rank anywhere near as unacceptable as the alicorn Pandora Star releasing Wrath, Gluttony, Greed, Envy, Sloth, Pride and Lust into the world.
Hopefully, even if you’re in the too much candour camp, you’ll not hold this behaviour and disclosure against me. We all have bad habits and I don’t sit in judgement of you in Tipton who picks your nose; or indeed you in Guernsey who scratches your testicles while reading my blogs….. The latter act not only crass but, as you’re a woman, challenging nature itself!….. Oh no, have I now breached inclusivity protocols?…… Bloody hell, it’s a veritable minefield writing a blog these days!!
As an aside – In today’s post, to add to numerous booklets delivered yesterday, I received a pile more informational/guidance regarding how to support individuals living with dementia – As is my current role for my mother.
I’m not sure how helpful these reams of paper will prove, but I’ve concluded that if nothing else they may come in handy as a platform for me to stand on if I need to look over a high fences. It’s rare I feel the need to gawp over high structures. However, who knows, one day I may get a role as a latter day ‘Kilroy was here!’ cartoon character.
Anyhow, on that piece of surrealism I’m bid you adieu until tomorrow.
Bloody hell!!…. What’s Strachan up to now!!