As I commence this journal, I’m back in my ‘go to’ coffee house writing retreat at the White Rose Shopping Centre (WRSC), Leeds.

Sat opposite on an adjacent table is a woman who I’d guess is a similar age to me (50’s) with short blond hair. This lady whose face seems familiar, although I’m at a loss where from, also sitting at a laptop typing away to her hearts content.

Appearing not to raise her head from the screen, the lady seems utterly captivated by whatever’s playing out in front of her. As she’s not wearing mirrored glasses (or indeed any type of spectacles) I’m afraid I can’t shed light on whatever’s affixing her attention so doggedly.

For all I know she maybe scribbling her own blog. Potentially relaying to her readers she recognises the fair haired bloke of around her age sitting opposite (me) who’s typing away on his laptop….. Also augmenting her audience with the news she doesn’t know where our paths may’ve crossed in the past.

This lady going on to add, as I’m not wearing mirrored glasses, she’s not privy to the format of my penmanship…… Perhaps, going forward, we writers need to adorn mirrored glasses to help resolve such literary output mysteries.

Incidentally, the lady in question (whose face I’m still unable to place) has just left her table. I hope it wasn’t something I said…… Who knows, perhaps her departure was a consequence of just realising I’d taken out a restraining order against her many years ago, and as such it’d be prudent for her to skedaddle pronto.

Not that I’ve ever had to take out a restraining order on any woman. In my experience, ladies have never felt the need to stalk me…… Well not that I’m aware of anyway – I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason my boxer shorts frequently go missing from the washing line.

I did once find a lady called Genevieve hiding in my wardrobe, but withheld charges when deeming her explanation she was there attempting to locate an errant contact lens seemed perfectly plausible.

In young adulthood I was particularly shy in my dealings with the fairer sex….. Incidentally, Is it still politically correct to use the expression the fairer sex?

This confusion borne from uncertainty into what the woke society deem acceptable – Mainly due to their protocols seemingly changing every other day. To me, what at one juncture is deemed perfectly respectable use of a word/saying appears to alter with alarming regularity; leaving in it’s awake utter confusion.

Consequently, I’ve absolutely no idea if it’s respectable to refer to ladies as the fairer sex, totty, birds, boilers or rocket receptacles….. Although I suspect the majority of them were probably never acceptable; especially rocket receptacles. A term which, although delivered with tongue-in-cheek, is an appalling expression I’ve literally just made up…… Apologies if you were offended by such unnecessary crudity…… I was and I bloody made it up!!

I think it’s safer to use ladies which, although still capable of offending some by the mere fact it’s a gender title, is a more prudent locution to use if seeking to avoid offending the woke brigade.

As a writer I find the ever changing edicts of what is deemed tolerable and inoffensive an absolute minefield. No matter how much you endeavour to ensure your words fit within the parameters of respectability, it feels there’s always a chance threshold’s can be breached.

Even though that breach is ordinarily more the result of naively than intent……. Unless the expression’s rocket receptacles, which is so appalling it’s clear to the author from the off that it has to be avoided…… Although, it didn’t stop me above!

Hang your head in shame, Strachan!…… Cue the hate mail!!

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