Night Skating

It’s 6.30am on a Saturday morning and I’ve just woken from the bizarre dream sequence which played out during slumber. This offbeat night vision’s plot line including involvement in a game of ice hockey while awaiting my car to be repaired at an adjacent garage.

As these scenes manifested, I don’t know what surprised me more about finding myself playing ice hockey. Was it learning yours truly could ice skate, or that my wounded knee ligament?

It was certainly a surprise my injured right leg joint, which currently aches when mere walking, curiously stood up to the rigours of such strenuous ice rink activity.

To clarify, during this episode GJ Strachan wasn’t performing wobbly step movement on skates, akin to Bambi’s attempts at remaining vertical shortly after birth. I was dashing across the ice at great speed; without the merest of grumbles from my troublesome knee tendon.

Equally as curiously, I was even managing to stop and change direction without assistance from the rink sides. Something I’ve not been able to accomplish during waking hour attempts to ice skate.

Ordinarily, there’s not a great deal I wish to bring back with me when transported back from a dream state to consciousness. It’s gotta be said, though, what I’d give to have the pain-free mobility afforded in this night vision.

Ice hockey seemed great fun too. Alas, though, my capricious lateral ligament and inept ice skating skills during consciousness mean it’s unlikely I’ll ever get to experience the brio of playing the game for real.

Not unless I can get someone to carry my hockey stick for me while I tentatively move around the rink by holding onto it’s sides…… A sight that’d no doubt be a great comic vision, but would be fundamentally humiliating for yours truly.

Oh well, my loss is no doubt ice hockey’s gain.

As alluded to above, my visions in slumber also incorporated my car undergoing repair work at a local garage. A mechanic’s labour required after a thief randomly stole the vehicle’s heated rear window element.

Footnote – Although writing local garage there are no garages adjacent to an ice rink in my locale, therefore it’s likely the repair shop was further afield….. Maybe Canada!…… Sorry I can be more specific, but in my defence I didn’t pen the screenplay for this unreliable dream sequences.

Anyhow, the theft of my vehicle’s heated rear window element was galling. An irksome act of pilfery for which I received a final bill for £200….. However, as the work was initially quoted to cost £175, I bartered my payment back down with the mechanic. Luckily I’d the foresight to take my debit card with me on this unconscious sojourn…….. Bloody garages, they even try to shake you down in the dream world!

Not being a dream specialist, I’ve no idea of this night vision’s source. Old wives tales state eating cheese pre-slumber can cause these types of vivid and arbitrary dreams. However, I didn’t consume cheese at any point yesterday, consequently that theory can be swiftly discounted.

The only thing that passed my lips pre-sleep yesterday evening was half a bag of Double Decker chocolate bits. I’m at a loss what old wives have to proffer about how this particular confectionery impacts dream plot lines; meaning I’ve no idea if this pre-kip gluttony contributed to the screenplay.

Not that yours truly pays a great deal of attention to the less scientifically based old wives advocacies. You know the types. Such as claiming if you spot a squirrel eating a Greggs pasty it’ll rain for the next week. Or, if you spot a squirrel eating a discarded kebab you’ll think to yourself, blimey squirrels really need to address their calorie intake.

Right, I’m gonna bring the narrative to its conclusion. I need to go work out how I’m going to return this hockey punt which I found next to me at reveille.

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