Putting The Freshness Back

Yesterday morning, the downstairs of my marital home (which I’m currently housesitting) underwent a thorough spring clean. This sanitisation an upgrade from the twice weekly cursory dust and vacuum ordinarily gifted to the furniture, devices and ornaments. Consequently, Wednesday witnessed enhanced dustocide’ including the removal and cleaning of all tomes residing within the book case.

Footnote – I realise there’s no such word as dustocide. However, deeming the term a great noun to describe purging of discarded skin flakes, I’ve kept it within the prose.….. Come on Oxford English Dictionary editor(s), you know you want to add it 😉

Additionally, utilising anti-bacterial wipes, I refreshed upholstery, dado rails, skirting boards and even the kitchen floor. For a few hours, GJ Strachan morphing into a latter day Shake and Vac women and putting the freshness back.

Sadly, those time consuming chores leaving me with little opportunity to quill yesterday’s blog……. So through my rare display of housework tenacity, you (my dear reader) dodged Wednesday 27th January’s literary bullet….. I sense the relief as almost tangible.

The second part of project ‘Operation Make The House A Lot Cleaner Than It Was On Tuesday 26th January 2021′ will take place tomorrow (Friday)…… As you can see, I was never much good at creative ideas for short, pithy project names.

Bearing in mind two of the three bedrooms aren’t currently being utilised, along with no kitchen floor to scrub, tomorrow’s sanitisation should be a tad quicker and kinder on the knees. Saying that, though, there’s the chambers where ablutions are partaken, which’ll augment the sterilisation workload….. Better scrub that observation…… Oh, and pardon the pun!

Tonight is Zoom quiz night with some buddies. A bi-weekly episode whose format I’ve written about endlessly over the past six months, or so; consequently I’ll spare you yet another configuration reprise. If you’re a new and infrequent reader of my monologues and would like an insight into these esprit ridden events, further details of the entertainment at hand can be found in Victory Despite The Distractions.

My contribution to these inquisitorial and live music evenings an absurd ‘True or False’ finale. A round affording me carte blanche to self-indulge myself with the most ludicrous of queries. Questions, which are clearly all false, but courtesy of artistic licence I unashamedly fib 50% of them are true. Examples of which below:-

  1. True or False – The Archbishop of Canterbury’s CV includes his favourite pastime as subduing pasta? False
  2. True or False – Mimicking their masters behavioural traits, Coronation Street character Jack Duckworth’s homing pigeons would also stop off for a pint at the Rovers on the way home? False
  3. True or False – Illusionist Uri Geller was forced to purchase plastic cutlery after all his stainless steel knives, forks and spoons bent into unusable shapes while dining? True
  4. True or False – When Paul McCartney sang “Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.” he’d obviously forgotten about how he’d dropping a guitar on his foot and ran out of plectrums the day before? True
  5. True or False – Even God refuses to answer the door when Jehovahs Witness’s knock? True

So now you know….. Maybe 😳

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