Messiah, Or Very Naughty Boy?

At school my weakest subjects were science based lessons. Chemistry, Biology and Physics bored me, and as such I paid them little mind. Subsequently dropping them like a stone at 14 years old; concentrating instead on language based subjects.

Consequently, this misguided immaturity of youth meant entering adulthood with a shaky, at best, grasp of science. Throughout the years the periodic table and GJ Strachan have remained passing ships in the night.

In the last forty years, I’ve never had recourse to use a Bunsen burner and my only exposure to lab equipment was during binge watches of the excellent US drama ‘Breaking Bad’.

GJ Strachan has picked up little snippets on the topic during the ageing process. Such as keeping wounds clean, along with the efficacious qualities of paracetamol and germolene antiseptic cream.

I’ve also learned, although it’s likely this was self-evident in my fledgling years, gravity dictates jumping from a plane at 1,000 feet is better undertaken adorning a parachute than an anvil.

I think what I’m attempting to convey with the parachute/anvil analogy is despite huge voids in science knowledge this hasn’t overly impaired my life.

A conclusion reached by suggesting common sense and parental nurturing provided me with enough scientific wherewithal to survive day-to-day life events….. Sure, I’m never gonna have the knowledge to send a rocket to the Moon, but I think of that loss as NASA’s gain!

For instance, my mum’s warning of “Burny!” to her toddlers, when crawling towards the lounge fire, imparting the knowledge not to go too close to flames….. A scolding to prevent a scalding, if you like.

Anyhow, the opening 200 word revelations into my science wherewithal aren’t part of my entry for ‘2020 UK’s Most Uninteresting Blog Award’. I’ve a rap sheet a mile long if I wished to partake in that idiosyncratic ceremony ….. If in fact the award exists.

No, yours truly raised the subject of science as, following recent world events, it’s become apparent my understanding of viruses isn’t as clear as I’d presumed. Flaws becoming apparent on witnessing bulletins relating the US president’s COVID health status, as his treatment/recovery evolved.

The main point fuelling this confusion being the president went back to holding rallies after assuring citizens he’d less of the virus than at its pinnacle.

I foolishly believed possession of a virus was binary, like making your feeling at the conclusion of a Monty Python sketch. In other words, you’ve either got it, or you haven’t.

I was totally unaware you could have less of a virus and, in particular, you couldn’t spread it whilst at that juncture of recovery.

Who knows, humankind could indeed be in the midst of a messed up Monty Python sketch. Our prevailing existence on planet COVID is certainly surreal enough to be worthy of that comparison.

Maybe coronavirus didn’t originate from a bat, as some moot. Perhaps, instead, originating from the dead parrot John Cleese sought to gaslight Michael Palin into buying, during one of the most popular Python sketches.

If that’s the case I hope the writer of this stark storyline is shortly going to conclude the clambake with “And now for something completely different!”

After all, we’ve seen enough already of individuals who, due to COVID, are bereft of life, resting in peace, pushing up the daisies, kicked the bucket, shuffled off this mortal coil, and run down the curtain to join the choir invisible…… To borrow from Michael Palin’s observations about the stricken parakeet.

Anyhow, in a few weeks US citizens are going to have an opportunity to decide if their current president, like the eponymous character in Python’s ‘Life of Brian’, is the messiah, or a very naughty boy!!

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