Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

Dry

Due to recent life events, I’m currently undertaking an unintended ‘Dry January’. My alcohol abstinence not earning money for a charitable cause, as with those who’re partaking in the official event, however at least my liver will be benefitting from this extended sobriety.

To be honest, I actually could drink if so desired as long as I’m sensible about the units of alcohol being consumed. However, during the fledgling weeks of my recuperation I’ve chosen to avoid the demon drink. A move I feel prudent until I’m further down the recovery path. A determination so strong that even the regular sight of boxes laden with Fosters beer and Strongbow cider hasn’t dented my resolve.

These boxes of alcohol were a seasonal gift from my good buddy Mike ‘Don’t Worry About The Use By Date’ Wells. A kind gesture from the affable Leeds lad, although his drinking a can from each box did ever so slightly diminish the magnanimousness of his act.

I’m no novice to fairly long term alcohol abstinence. In the past I’ve participated in two ‘Go Sober for October’ campaigns and a previous ‘Dry January’ event. In fact Mike was my wingman during 2012’s ‘Go Sober’ event. However, being a dyed in the wool non-conformist, he chose to ‘create waves’ and abstain from booze in November.

Actually, looking at the use by date on the beer he gave me last Christmas I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t the beer he abstained from drinking during November 2012!

I’m only kidding, Mr W is a munificent man who oft displays great generosity of heart and spirit. An example of this selflessness his recent saving of four sirloin steaks from a burning building….…. errrr, I mean his grill……. My mucker also backs his strong beliefs about animal welfare, a factor behind his refusal to eat pork that’s non-dolphin friendly.

How long it’ll be before I have an alcoholic drink again is unknown. I can say with some certainty, though, that unless I can get hold of Marty McFly’s DeLorean it’ll be after the use by date on the booze Mike bequeathed me at Christmas.

dry january

Yesterday in Well Don’t Do It Then! I wrote of finding humour in the most unlikely of scenarios whilst hospital in situ. A oft used coping mechanism of mine designed to lower anxiety levels when confronted by serious health concerns,

My narrative touching on the fillip experienced within the wards when utilising what late comedian Ken Dodd referred to as the chuckle muscle. A cathartic act of no cost*** which reduces stress hormones; contributing to the patients overall recuperative process.

*** – I’m referring to financial cost. There maybe a physical cost from laughing raucously, such as peeing yourself if you’re in hospital with a weak bladder ,or experiencing pain from splitting stomach wound stitches…… If you’ve got stomach stitches and a weak bladder I’d ask for a ward with Lenny Henry, or someone equally as unfunny.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this narrative, nevertheless always remember these insightful words from the genius that was Groucho Marx ““Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.”

Categories: Blogs, fiction, humour

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.