The Great Tape Dispenser Enigma

While composing today’s observations staring back at me from the corner of my office desk is an adhesive tape dispenser. This red plastic Sellotape holder, which lays adjacent to a desk tidy containing pens, a pencil sharpener and a USB storage device, mysteriously minus one of its scarlet coloured sides.

Footnote – Other brands of adhesive tape are available.

What became of the missing piece is anyone’s guess. When I purchased the device it definitely had two sides, but a few days back when retrieving it from a downstairs sideboard drawer one of the dispensers peripheral elements was nowhere to be seen.

The mechanism still works, however a great deal more finesse is required while attempting to detach a strip of the sticky roll. With the holder being minus a ‘limb’, any heavy-handedness tending to rip the whole roll from the aforementioned container. Although, admittedly this is merely an inconvenience, I suppose

As alluded to above, how this damage was sustained, along with the broken sides location, remains an enigma. I’ve even asked god, who although I’m confident won’t have used the tape mechanism, is all seeing – So hopefully will help me pinpoint the missing ‘leg’

Sadly, though, thus far the almighty hasn’t responded with a solution to the conundrum. However, he did earlier help me find two slices of missing bread which miraculously shot onto the kitchen worktop. Okay, as the bread (now toast) shot out of a toaster it was more likely to be an over enthusiastic kitchen appliance that caused this ‘miracle’ than god. But hey, it’s good to have faith in the existence of an omnipotent power.

It’s hard to believe the missing section of the tape dispenser was stolen. After all, who the hell would feel the need to pilfer such a thing? Even if someone was inclined to stoop to such woeful levels of felony, how would anyone know yours truly owned such a dispenser? After all, I don’t ordinarily advertise my stationery wherewithal to the wider public…… Well, apart from frequently bragging about owning 371 paper clips; having Rain Man as a friend occasionally comes in handy!

I’ve also ruled out an impulse act of pilfering the holder’s side. Nothing will convince me a visitor to my home would’ve be so impressed by one ‘limb’ of a tape dispenser they’d be moved to surreptitiously snap it from the main unit, sliding it into their pocket when I wasn’t looking.

None of my observations help solve the mystery, but I can’t afford to dwell any further on what may’ve happened to the little piece of red plastic which once safely secured adhesive tape into its holder. I’m now at a friends for tea and it’d be incredibly bad form if I spent my time here waxing lyrical.

Consequently, I bid you adieu. Enjoy your weekend and always remember that if you ever get lost just keep going left.

Bloody hell, I’ve just spotted the tape dispensers side jammed under my friends patio table to stabilise a wobbly leg….. Bloody cheek!

Leave a Reply