Choices, Choices

Being partisan neutral, yours truly ordinarily affords penning on the subject of politics the shortest of shrifts. Akin to my late father, this borne from a cynicism surrounding politicians motives, regardless of which end of the ideological spectrum they represent.

This indifferent outlook doesn’t stop GJ Strachan’s partaking in polling station visits. However, whilst among the ballot boxes, my vote’s undertaken with all the enthusiasm I’d muster if choosing between watching TV shows Love Island or Dancing on Ice.

However, despite this disinterest in the political landscape, both nationally and globally, I’m finding the current US presidential campaign coverage gripping fare.

This gravy not taken from any impressive oration of policy from the main protagonists. Moreover, my interest borne from the ingrained human syndrome of rubber-necking. No matter how hard I try not to look, I’m constantly lured to witness this car crash.

One of the teams in this sideshow even PT Barnum wouldn’t have touched, hasn’t as yet revealed any policies. Well, apart from plans to rescind Obamacare, replacing it with Idontcare; the candidates “beautiful new healthcare plan” whose content remains an enigma…… And probably will regardless of the outcome of this political hooey.

As a Brit I’ve no skin in the game, however I’m glued to various Facebook video clips peddling propaganda for both Republicans and Democrats. These political commentators/interviewers attempting to extract the holiest of grails during political interviews – An answer to the bloody question!

With his country ravaged by pandemic, race issues and an economy on it’s ass, one of the candidates campaign strategy appears to be telling anyone who’ll listen what a great guy he is, along with what a great job he’s undertaken….. A narcissistic boast which must bring great comfort to the families who can’t feed their kids in these stark COVID times.

From my life experience, great guys don’t need to tell you they’re great guys; it’s a trait perfectly evident from their behaviour. The individuals I respect most would never use such hubris. Personally, I find guys who make that boast are generally the antithesis of great; peddling the lie in a vain endeavour to re-assure their neurotic soul.

Among those Facebook presidential campaign video clips, the satirical sets by US comedians Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel are comedic gold dust.

Surveying a political brew of lies, deceit, idiosyncratic behaviour, outlandish accusations and a curious fly, this trinity of funny men being bequeathed enough material to last until commencement of election campaigning in 2024.

The three geezers and their writing teams must be working overtime, stacking up on a wealth of humorous material. Storing it as a fall back for when Joe Biden wins, and news days become infinitely slower.

Of course, if Biden wins there’s no certainty they’ll be a peaceful transition of power. We may see trenches dug on the White House lawn, howitzers in place and a re-introduction of Trump University’s ‘Surviving Trench Foot & Living on Cheesestrings’ course.

Not to mention the building of tractor parking lots and an increase in red diesel pumps on Capitol Hill. Who knows the present resident may cause disruption by removing White House curtains and light fittings. Not to mention, sabotaging refrigerator contents with Mike Pence’s fly buddies.

At a time of huge uncertainty, one thing for certain is it’s sure going to be an interesting week, or so, in the US of A.

To close, I wanted to relay the yarn relating to a video clip on yesterday evenings Stephen Colbert’s show. This VT showing Trump referring to a looting incident in which a ‘very bad person’ stole a washing machine from a store.

After witnessing this clip, I couldn’t help subscribing to Colbert’s jocular sentiment that, like somebody eating all of a 72oz steak in a restaurant, anyone who can steal a washing machine on their own volition should be given it for free.

Long live democracy. Long live liberty…… And, as you won’t have a receipt to return it if it breaks, long live your washing machine buddy!

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