Empty Days

There’s a plethora of adaptations which the global family’ve been forced to embrace on planet COVID. Social distancing, lockdown, denial of meeting friends and family just a few undesired concessions necessitated by the pathogen.

Consequential of this, it dawned on me how a section of these restrictive edicts have rendered worthless the need of diary and calendar. This realisation manifesting during recent discussions with a friend, when amongst our banter I expressed we’d rubber stamp the plans “When I’ve checked our diaries.

This statement pre-COVID was a necessity when endeavouring to avoid double booking schedules. With the virulent nemesis’ arrival on our sceptred isles, though, I’ve concluded we’ve currently as much need for a diary as the Pope does for Glasgow Rangers season tickets.

Although not in possession of a thriving social life, GJ Strachan did have a few things planned for this year before, to coin an oft utilised phrase, things went tits up. COVID-19 has thus far seen to it I’ve missed a theatre performance of Phantom of the Opera, a four-night break in Wales, a Roger Hodgson (Supertramp) gig, along with an evening at Carole King – The Musical.

On coronavirus’ watch, my habitual visits to Headingley Stadium, sampling the sporting frolics bequeathed by Yorkshire County Cricket Club’s T20 games, also disappeared off a very high cliff. These balmy summer evenings witnessing 2 x 20 overs of good old fashioned ‘teeing-off’ ordinarily one of the highlights of my year.

Footnote – ‘Teeing-off’ in a cricketing context is the act of indiscriminate slogging at the ball regardless of it’s merits. 


On reflection, describing all T20 matches agin other English counties as balmy is probably being overly benevolent to the weather gods. Some evenings are bereft of summertime sun, perishingly cold and rainy. Regardless, though, this clambake’s ordinarily a great night out.

Actually, bearing in mind the jocular and offbeat nature of the discussion between a buddy and me during our cricket spectating, perhaps barmy is a more apt descriptive than balmy!

Anyhow, it’s safe to say that my recent comment of “When I’ve checked my diary.” was out of habit, not from genuine concern I might be double booked on any day within the next 12 months.

After blowing away the dust and cobwebs, one view of my diary/calendar would reveal there’s not one day I’m even single booked, never mind double. Actually, that’s not strictly true. I’m participating in a Zoom quiz with buddies this coming Thursday.

An evening where all six participants will take turns as inquisitor, topics arbitrary, incorporating live music by the instrumentalists amongst the gang. My round will contain a series of queries asked to Amazon Alexa. My inquisitees being provided with multiple choice answers for each inquiry; yours truly providing an option of  Alexa’s correct response, plus two that I’ve made up.

To add to the round’s surrealism yours truly contemplated writing all of the multiple choices incorrectly. However, I concluded that, even by my standards such inanity was an absurd step too far!…… Anyhow, the two fictional answers per query gives me enough scope to incorporate the comedic element I desired.

Anyway, it’s time to conclude this narrative as I’ve a pressing email to write Amazon referring to the inappropriate response received from Alexa when asking her out on a date!……. Your loss, love!!

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