Half Term Report

“How do I define history? ….. It’s just one f***ing thing after another”

A whimsical quote borrowed from Leeds writer Alan Bennett’s prose in the tome History Boys. An observation which, when dusk falls on the year 2020, will perfectly describe the twelve months being consigned to a very large toxic waste bin.

As this year drew it’s inaugural breathes, I wrote the following paragraphs of my goals for 2020 in the narrative My 2020 Vision:-

“New Year 2020 has dawned. Amongst the objectives I’ve given myself during this next twelve months is a perennial promise of addressing the paucity of my gym visits, along with exploring options of narrating yours truly’s prose into podcasts. Not forgetting a desire to instigate world peace via an online campaign with the work in progress title of ‘Don’t Be A T**t!!’

Some may seeking world peace as an overly improbable, if not impossible, feat to achieve. However, trust me there’s a darned sight more chance of me succeeding with that aspiration than with the gym visit resolution!……. “

Actually, prior to COVID-19’s springtime appearance in the UK, some aspirations upon my yearly schema were indeed playing out as intended. For instance, I’d acquired a Bodyline membership, afforded me full access to any Leeds council facilitated gym or fitness class.

This a purchase seeing me undertaking exercise 3-4 classes a week throughout January, February and March; until coronavirus put pay to that avenue of pleasure. After that life changing episode in all of our existences, my exercise has since been confined to walking daily, along with regular horticultural maintenance.


My aspiration of transferring a selection of my narratives into podcasts, though, has thus far remained a pipe dream. Not that I can blame COVID for that unachieved objective. On the contrary, coronavirus sourced lockdown has afforded me plenty of opportunity/time to pursue that ambition.

To be brutally honest, I’ve absolutely no excuse whatsoever for not fulfilling the podcast aspiration. After all, the raw materials of voice, podcast app and content (nearly 2,000 blogs) are in place.

The only justification I can muster for this tardiness is the ignoble and weasily proffering of it’s been difficult practising/recording podcast readings with my mum constantly interrupting my flow.

To be fair to my mum her distractions aren’t intended and are ordinarily well-meaning in their intent. However, I’m loathed to post a podcast out onto the worldwide web with sporadic soundbites of “Do you want a cuppa, Gary?” or “I’m going for a walk with Maureen, love!” interspersed within my content oration.

That being said, the matriarchal interruptions may add to the brew. Mater’s utterances, along with my resultant sighs at yet another distraction, adding further to the comedic affect of yours truly’s nattering…… Watch this space!!!

If you’ve finished watching that space, I’d like to return to the above section of prose which touches upon my aspirations, as written on 1st January 2020. In particular my tongue in cheek revelation that I’d “……. a desire to instigate world peace via an online campaign with a work in progress title of ‘Don’t Be A T**t!!’

I couldn’t help but ruefully smile on re-reading that wish for 2020. My initial thoughts on revisit being “World peace!!…. World peace!!…… As it stands, halfway through this dreadful year, I’d just settle for some nations taking measures to halt a descent into civil war!

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