To almost borrow from Nina Simone’s hit refrain Feeling Good, ‘It’s a new dawn. It’s a new day. It’s a new month. But the same old s***e!….. And I’m not feeling good!’

May has taken over the calendar baton from April. A poisoned chalice of immense proportions, rendering the new month with an almost certain legacy bereft of fond memories. With global COVID-19 carnage showing no sign of abating, when history reflects on May 2020, like the month prior, it’s unlikely to be in a positive light.

I realise that’s a dreadfully morose outlook on how events within the next 31 days will pan out. However, barring the miraculous discovery and implementation of a coronavirus vaccine, I’d suggest there’s more chance of me securing a date with fragrant actor Margot Robbie than May bequeathing the global family joyous recollections.

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As an aside, apparently, the political correctness brigade have decreed we can no longer utilise the word actress to describe actresses. A baffling edict I’ve neither the mental capacity, nor (evidently) ingrained sensitivity, to comprehend.

Am I right in thinking awards categories still differentiate sexes with the terms actor and actress? If that is still the case surely that indicates actresses really don’t give a flying f*** about being called an actress, or not!

If women actors do insist on the umbrella actor category, where the protagonists sex cannot be stated, then the number of female stars of the big screen winning Oscars, BAFTA’s, Golden Globes will hugely diminish.

If the PC brigade demand Best Actress categories are renamed as Best Female Actor then what is the difference? My observations not taken from a position of misogyny. Moreover from observations that, despite many equal opportunities issues still requiring evolution, whether a woman is labelled as actress or female actor is most definitely not one of them!!…… Absolute nonsense!

Blimey, I’ve no idea where that polemic emanated from, as I really have no strong opinion either way about women’s rights. Although, admittedly, I do have issues with some of the PC brigade’s edicts, in particular with the narrowness of their empathy scope.

What I mean by that is, in my opinion, goodwill and support should be afforded to everyone, not just a select few…… “Ah, there’s goes that misguided northern Englishman again. Spouting his fantastical dogma about utopia being an achievable life aspiration.” I hear you cry.

Flaming heck, I’m annoyed with myself. A short paragraph relaying my bafflement at why the title actress is now frowned upon has manifested into me embarking on a 270 word diatribe of subjective gob-shitery.

I’m absolutely nonplussed why I chose to venture along Ranting Avenue. Like my late father and unlike my siblings, it’s incredibly rare for me to care enough about the subject to be irked by politics. Or so I thought anyhow!!

That being said, though, the last 300 locutions or so have proved, if nothing else, I appear to have a few unresolved issues on the topic of political correctness.

Anyhow, I’m going to have to bring this prose to a conclusion as actress (errr…. I mean female actor) Margot Robbie’s on the phone and, apparently, wants a quick word with me!!……. Who knows, I may’ve been a tad hasty with my forecasts for how May will play out!…….. It mightn’t be anywhere near as bad as predicted!