I’ve just returned indoors after partaking in a two minute ‘Clap for Carers’. This national weekly ritual affording Britain’s populace a platform to express gratitude to it’s care workers. People whose hard graft currently underpins the UK’s resolve amid this era of jeopardy.

Individuals whose stoicism keep this sceptred isle’s candle burning, as COVID-19, working in cahoots with the Grim Reaper, seeks to extinguish the flame. As the former’s skullduggery forms an ever tighter global grip, the latter’s workload has skyrocketed in synch with hard-pressed supermarket staff….. Not that I’m comparing store staff to the Grim Reaper, I hasten to add!

Footnote – I’ve no idea if the significant increase in the Grim Reaper’s ‘To Do’ list has necessitated him employing temporary staff – These part-time employees secured to assist with the darkest of agendas. I will, though, monitor newspaper ‘Situations Vacant’ columns for advertisements along the lines of:-

‘Temporary staff required to walk the streets clad in black hooded cloak, carrying a scythe. Experience not essential, although previous experience reaping grimly maybe advantageous ——— Pay and benefits negotiable; This an equal opportunities role with no requirement for the successful applicant to constantly wash hands – Black cloak and scythe provided – Apply within’


Anyhow, I digress……

As with our global cousins, this green and pleasant land have battle lines drawn during coronavirus’ insipid tarry. Sadly, though, bereft of a vaccine to combat our stealthy adversary’s odious agenda, we flounder hamstrung. Damage limitation the sole viable strategy to save lives worldwide….. And if you don’t believe me ask someone who knows what the f*** they’re talking about!! 😉

Watching a news broadcast, my mum in her wonderfully arbitrary way of describing scientific innovations, proffered with reverence “It’s amazing what they can do these days!” This veneration delivered upon learning it’s now plausible for testing blood for coronavirus to take place with a 90 minute turnaround. As opposed to the previous 24 hour daily wait for results aimed at identifying COVID-19 sufferers.

It’s amazing what they can do these days!”, mater’s catch all statement of deference which, although not very informed or always deserved, can on occasion be hard to refute. In this particular instance, she’s correct with her idiosyncratic assertion….. It is amazing what they can do these days!

That being said, her further gushing of these scientists being very intelligent did move me to point out “To be honest mum they wouldn’t be employed at the cutting edge of UK scientific research if they lacked the intellectual capability to locate their arses with both hands!“……..  An observation to which she thought-provokingly, and not without some basis in fact, responded “Yeah, but that flaw doesn’t stop our political leaders getting a job!”

Of course, one may argue, politicians don’t ordinarily possess, or require, the similar intellectual capacity of top scientists. Positing further, on the rare occasions they do reach that plateau of eggheaded agility, they’re seemingly contented with hiding their light under a bushel anyhow.

An observation to which I’d subscribe. After all, I’d wager being able to blag the gig of top politician would be a darned sight easier than carrying off the facade of a scientifically acclaimed Walter Mitty.

And I should know…… In 1977, my fanciful boast I possessed an astute science brain was swiftly exposed. This shame landing unceremoniously at my door when, during a Chemistry equipment test, I mistook an evaporating dish for an ash tray! ……. On reflection, with that example of my deception in mind, who knows I might’ve made a great politician!!