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Don’t Panic!!…. Don’t Panic!!

As Italy goes into national lockdown in a bid to contain and eventually overcome the COVID-19 virus’ wrath, governments globally are embracing other proportionate measures. Their shared agenda that of protecting populaces from this fate worse than a Piers Morgan interview

For instance, US President Donald Trump overnight made fiscal promises which initially appear to’ve calmed money markets, who yesterday collectively took their biggest losses since the 2008 global economic meltdown.

It isn’t just a national government level where contingency plans have ramped up in importance. For example, In the wake the coronavirus’ threat, residents in the Strachan abode’ve become self-isolated. This hermitism not a conscious or, indeed, deliberate decision on our part.

No, this solitude a consequence of both front and back doors being blocked off by the bloody hundreds of toilet rolls and packets of dried pasta we’ve panic bought within the last week.

If truth be told, my mum’s reaction to the, admittedly concerning, episode is getting out of hand. Her precautions at negating against COVID-19 breaching her residences threshold becoming excessively disproportionate and illogical with every day that passes.

Mater’s latest overly cautious, hair-brained notion that of mooting whether we need to employ a precautionary avoidance of watching live TV sporting events attended by large crowds.

A catalyst to this nonsense the reading of last weekend’s precautionary postponement of  Italy’s rugby fixture against Ireland. Thankfully, I’ve placated her concerns by explaining you actually need to be crowd in situ to be at risk of infection. Consequently, she now appears re-assured that sitting in your living room armchair cheering on Leeds Rhinos or Leeds United runs a very minimal risk of contracting the pathogen.

Mercifully, evolving television technology, aimed at making the viewers experience ever more lifelike, hasn’t developed enough to allow the crowds environment to be piped into your home. A Smart TV including Infection-O-Vision, as with Smell-O-Vision, still a twinkle in electronic gadget developers eyes.

Other precautionary contingency measures mooted by Mrs Strachan senior to mitigate against contracting the coronavirus are the storing of candles, stocking up on coal, along with ensuring there’s a ready availability of towels and boiling water …….. I can only hope I’ve more luck than Ronnie Barker when purchasing the candles!

Why Maggie insists on storing coal when we’ve a gas fire is anyone’s guess! When pointing out this slight flaw in her plan, she tersely responded “I want to store the coal as it’s easier to store safely than gas!” An observation, which despite being technically correct, did little to clarify the value of her idiosyncratic fuel hoarding strategy.

With regards to mum’s insistence we’ve easy access to towels and boiling water, I can only surmise she intends, as a makeshift vet, to deliver calves during a post-apocalyptic requirement for self-sufficiency!

It’s not for me to tell anyone how to proceed experientially while navigating this vale of tears. From a personal point of view, though, as alluded to yesterday in the narrative Where The Sun Don’t Shine!, as it stands I’d suggest the proletariat’s best course of action during this fluid situation is not to panic…… Instead following a path of reacting commensurately to prevailing guidance from medical experts.

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