An Exact Science

I’ve just returned from a Health Circuits class at John Smeaton Leisure Centre (JSLC). With the restoration of my post-exercise heart beat back to normal, along with the consumption of a half litre bottle of water, increased serotonin levels are re-invigorating me both physically and mentally.

I’m no scientist, in fact so indifferent was my schooldays interest in biology, chemistry and physics, at 14 I dropped the science subjects as ‘O’ Level examination options. That being said, though, I’m capable enough to proffer the monoamine neurotransmitters manifesting from participation in circuits classes habitually enhance feelings of well-being and happiness.

In fact, so exhilarating is this short term glee fest consequential of these luminally and basolaterally secreted transmitters, I’d posit the subsequent circulation of platelets has similarly increased stimulation of GJ Strachan’s myenteric neurons and gastrointestinal motility….. God bless the GI tract’s enterochromaffin cells who bequeath us these neurotransmitters of well-being….. Not to mention, a need to use a spell-checker.

You, dear reader, may opine the above three or four paragraphs contradict my earlier claim I don’t possess an interest in all (or at least most) things scientific. Trust me, though, I know very little about the subject. So much so, when I was in my late teens/early20’s, I thought the periodic table was a calendar women used to chart their menstrual cycle!

I can, hand on heart, assure you I’ve massive knowledge voids when broaching subjects of biology, chemistry and physics. The earlier scientifically erudite paragraphs merely blagged from Wikipedia, misleading my readership at the scale my intellectual prowess…… Subsequently, the information gained was completely new to me.

exact science

This writer fills many knowledge voids writing these essays. Regularly, through research, my neurological database updated with detail which was previously bereft. My alma mater the School of Wiki, a learning establishment I frequent when searching for factual accuracy and embellishment of already held subject knowledge…… It’s not quite every day, but the adage ‘Every days a school day!’ isn’t too far wide of the mark during the writing process.

Over the years I’ve penned my hundreds of thousands of locutions, I’ve learned how diverse and informed areas of my knowledge were. Particularly in subjects I’d not paid much mind for decades. Utilisation of this general knowledge, which’d lay dormant through the starker depressive episodes, once again given liberty to roam free.

Six years ago, from the metaphorical gutter yours truly lay during my lowest point mentally, looking up at the sky misguidedly mulling over his worthlessness, unemployability and marginalisation. The stars gazing back denotatively, subliminally advocating a break from my career was required from the level of strain I was experiencing…… Oh, and point out my flies were open.

In candour, I was so low at this point that the dark astrological promulgation sounded a preferable option from the starkness I felt at that time. Thankfully, though, I’d more sense than acting upon such misguided, idiotic notions.

Initially, I attempted to relieve some of the pressure I felt through taking a six month unpaid sabbatical from work. However, as I was even more morose on return, this proved a strategy as flawed as my aspirations of developing infra-red peanuts, in 2015.

The latter a foolhardy attempt at identifying a solution for finding dropped peanuts in cinemas, theatres and pubs. Although my epiphany had clear benefits for clumsy nut eaters, Blu Tacing battery powered fairy lights to peanuts proved logistically unachievable so the project was suitably scrapped…… Incidentally, does anyone want to buy a dozen pallets of fairy lights and fifty gross of out of date salted peanuts?!

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