On Christmas Day I was fortunate to have the opportunity to liberate quite a few gifts from their wrapping paper incarceration. Trinkets which made me grateful I’ve such thoughtful family and friends. Bestowals whose number were heavily stacked by redolently scented cosmetic creams and sprays; circumstances sowing seeds of doubt in my erratic mind I’d may’ve subtly just been made aware of personal hygiene issues.
Other bequests to this mercurial northern Englishman including a digital radio, a personalised mug, iTunes voucher, a bottle of wine, wine gums, cuddly toy, fondue set…… Errrr, actually the latter two weren’t true; sorry I drifting off briefly into a domain where I felt moved to recite prizes adorning TV gameshow The Generation Game’s conveyer belt.
When it came to the 2019 festive trinket originality category, the hands down victor was a keyring gift replicating the sound waves created in singer/songwriter Phil Collins’ anthem ‘In The Air Tonight’.
The friend who purchased the quirky gift doing so in the knowledge this particular atmospheric refrain, with it’s iconic heavy drumming infusion mid-song, held a special place within my ;life canvas. This 1981 released anthem the biggest hit on Collins inaugural solo album ‘Face Value’, a gift I received on my 18th birthday – A love of this particular piece of the Genesis front man’s work revealed in greater detail in my narrative Face Value.
The benefactor advised they’d seen this quirky gift on website notonthehighstreet.com. I didn’t ask my pal in any detail about products peddled by this online emporium. However, although I’ve not researched this massively, I’d take an educated guess the seller is a purveyor of quirky goods which aren’t available on the high streets of our municipalities……. Surely even Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau solve that conundrum.
“Quirky is as quirky does!” as an old friend of mine would say. This individual a big advocate of the generic idiom ‘x is as x does’. Some of his oratory offerings bearing deeply erudite submissions; for instance “Stupid is as stupid does!” and “Humanity is as humanity does!”
Sadly for this chap, though, his misguided enthusiasm turning nearly every existential circumstance into an opportunity to use the idiom. Utilising the adage incorrectly for a plethora of situations, consequently diluting the esteem formerly held for even his better adages.
The stupider examples includng;- “Keyrings are as keyrings does!”, “Tescos are as Tescos does!” and “My sink’s blocked is as my sink’s blocked does!” …… Foolish profferings which undermine all the good work he does with idioms he correctly submits.
The misguided submissions, incorrect and non-sensical adages which diminish the intellectual kudos he craves; leading to some “Avoiding like him like the plague, as is avoiding him like the plague does!”
It’s just gone midday on Boxing Day as I pen these enigmatic mutterings. Chronicling my first blog for three days, I’m sat on the sofa, laptop resting on a settee arm, Christmas tree a foot away to my left, glass of white wine on the coffee table my foreground, a roaring fire the background. An idyllic festive canvas we’ve all witnessed scores of times on celluloid Christmas offerings.
A merry Christmas to one and all!……. Especially all; particularly after that crap present one bought me!
