Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

Tag Archive for ‘gifts’

Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness

They journeyed from afar under an energy-sapping sun, parched and weary on arrival at their destination. The spent travellers odysseys made to congregate for a family feast among the east Leeds suburbs…… Well, they came from York and Wakefield anyway. The christian resurrection commemorated with sacrificed lamb, the up-coming birthday of GJ Strachan marked with gifts of Viz annual, snack hamper and ‘Dr Ball’s Fresh Bollocks’ shower gel……. My Easter […]

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Strachan Christmas Traditions

Yesterday, I had a conversation with an old acquaintance about Christmas gifts. It wasn’t a long conversation, moreover me asking him “Where the chuff’s my Christmas present?!” Knowing I was joking he laughed and the conversation moved on. He confided in me he’d just undergone a minor hospital procedure to remove something on his head. I asked if it was a suspect growth that needed a biopsy, to which he […]

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A Christmas Carol (Of Sorts)

Christmas preparations continued apace in chez Strachan today, with my wife Karen provisionally booking a perennial visit by ghosts of Christmas past, present and future on Christmas Eve night. An annual occurrence deemed necessary by my missus for my redemption after a year of being less than chirpy. Hopefully, when the spectres arrive bearing Christmas fear we won’t have a repeat of last year’s experience. A challenging occasion when the ghost of Christmas present whined endlessly about his awful yuletide journey […]

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Eggcentric Visiting Gifts

It’s Saturday morning. Sitting here in the dining room of my parents house on the Wakefield/Leeds borders, I’m mulling over my itinerary for this pleasant autumnal day. As I’m easily distracted, though, I don’t envisage this period of contemplation will be overly protracted. My mum has been in the kitchen updating their fridge magnets with the latest news on her beloved husband, who remains in-situ in a West Yorkshire hospital. It’s an eccentric one-way exchange, […]

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Never Back A Gift Horse In the 2.40

My preparations for Karen’s up and coming 50th birthday continue at a pace. Due to her illness, she has requested I spend money on different shows, gigs and maybe breaks in 2016 as gifts, as opposed to an expensive keepsake like jewellery or framing the winter gas bill! With this in mind, she has already attended Adele, Mariah Carey, Paul Heaton, and Riverdance shows already this year. Additionally, we had […]

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