Resolution Indiscipline

It’s the 1st January 2021, and the Christmas tree is down. I’ve no idea why it’s down, I’d have thought it’d been glad to see the end of the 365 day s***show that concluded at midnight. I’ll have to see if MiracleGro manufacture a horticultural version of prozac to pep the fella back up. Clearly,…

Their Race Run

Bank Holiday Monday brought forth an early reveille for yours truly. Given a 8am – 1pm window for my boiler’s annual service, a rarely used watch alarm was set for 7.30am. Making my breakfast early on a cold, dark wintertide morn an activity I’d not undertaken for a long, long time. Footnote – All other…

Happy Christmas COVID’s Not Over

To the tune of Happy Christmas War Is Over…… With apologies to John Lennon:- So this is ChristmasAnd what have you doneA year dodging COVIDAnd not reading The SunAnd so this is ChristmasI hope you have funEven Boris and DonaldDespite being incredibly dumb A very merry ChristmasAnd a happy New YearLet’s hope it’s a good…

Cracking Christmas

After a perishable food shop yesterday afternoon, along with this mornings procurement/despatch of final gifts, I’m just about ready for the big occasion…… Incidentally, that’s Christmas Day, not the Leeds Utd v Burnley football game on Boxing Day. The food shop undertaken after a 20 minute socially distanced queue to access the local Marks &…

Christmas Quiz

Below is the intentionally absurd ‘True or False’ round written and performed by yours truly as part of yesterday evening’s Xmas Zoom quiz with the chaps. My festive queries very much tongue in cheek; please note anything attributed as true (in bold) very much isn’t:- 1) True or False – Last year, after my brother…

Creaking

This morning, upon opening door 17 of the Strachan advent calendar, I was startled when confronted by a sharp creaking sound. Uncertain of its source, I concluded the noise had either emanated from my yet to warm up middle aged limbs, or was a consequence of rusty calendar door hinges. With the festive adornment’s cardboard composition,  I swiftly…

Familial Xmas Traditions

It’s 16th December and the festive feel in chez Strachan is slowly intensifying. And, to be honest, how can GJ Strachan not be flushed with yuletide esprit when greeted by the word ‘Bollocks’ from behind window 16 of a Tourettes advent calendar bequeathed by son Jonny? Augmenting yuletide spirit further, the unmistakable redolence of spilled…

Is It A Dog Or Dyson?

This morning, upon opening advent calendar door number fifteen, I was greeted by the ‘Souls of the Oppressed’. Although affable enough spirits, particularly when you take into account the terrible suffering they’ve endured, I’m beginning to hold misgivings about investing in Torture magazine’s festive calendar***. Todays’s bestowal as disturbing as the ‘Fingernails of No Return’ which…

Roger, Over & Out

The inspiration being sought for today’s narrative topic wasn’t behind door number 14 on the advent calendar. Well, that’s unless I decide to pen a yarn about a red-nosed reindeer indulging in a game of table tennis – A subject path of which I’ve little inclination of embarking on. Consequently, I’m presently residing in my dining…